Growing into Lovely

Gratitude...

2009-09-06T12:00:00.003-05:00

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. " (Melody Beattie)

This quote keeps coming back to me. It plays in my mind and its truth continues to sink in....I so work to find gratitude as a daily, moment by moment part of my life....and yet I struggle, a battle, with how to embrace gratitude while I define the areas of my life that indeed lack by my own measure....while at the same time knowing so deeply how blessed and fortunate I am each second I breathe....

I believe the life God has for us involves a lot more of God and a lot less of us. Our ambitions, our desire for power, wealth, for control, all take us further from that which God created us for...humility, obedience, loving others, sharing, caring for what God puts before us...

I struggle daily, weekly, with my own ideas of what and who I should be...of my shortcomings, failings and lack of progress to be the person I thought I would become...

and then

I ponder the scale that Christ measures me by and once again realize that most if not all that I mourn about who I try so hard to become so often overcomes becoming what God built me to be...

and each day I work on listening more and talking less.

Adventures All Around

2009-09-02T06:38:00.003-05:00

Tuesday did happen. I think the word is more survived than thrived, but success is success isn't it? Homeschooling is about the only area of life that improves with this new normal of not seeing. You see, if one's mom is the teacher, and limited in what else she can accomplish, and she taught forever before she homeschooled, she can almost recite every lesson from memory.
We are learning that our boys can and will sweep, mop, and load the dishwasher with minimal complaining. Les is amazing with the going to the store for me enroute home etc. The funny moments come too, like when our four labs and powder puff dogs open their way into the house and I don't see them coming. They are always on the prowl for doors left unlocked and Drake will open the handles for them.
Phone conversations are sweet, but there is this problem of if a child has moved the phone....I simply can't find things that are out of place, no matter how logical the place is. I find that I don't venture very far from my desk to the couch to my room on my own....after that its like going through a fun house of shin hits, corners I didn't expect and a feeling of "get me home" back to my spaces.
My eyes definitively dry out if not moistened by an hour later. At night we use a heavier medication but we generally still have to get up in the night to make sure the corneas don't dry out again ...its easy to tell, if they are dry blinding pain returns, light sensitivity happens, and she gets fussy.....its a comedy...you need lights to do the medicene, the lights huts the eyes that need the medicene, and the husband does his best to help.
Today we're having an adventure. Long ago I agreed to cook spaghetti for a church event...and sure enough, they are bringing me the raw ingredients to cook today, so we will have our own adventure. Madison will help and we are both spaghetti proficient. They will pick it up as well, so I don't have to find it a taxi.
If being domestically challenged was already one of my proficiencies, vision impairedness makes for a whole new level of value in learning how tnot to be. Thankfully I had just rearranged my filing system a few weeks ago, so necessary paperwork has been easy to find. I have a friend who continually sends me links to look at, most of what I "look" at, I end up "listening to" through the accessibility options on our computers. The program is slow as molasses but you can have pages read to you.
We really do not notice others in most of our daily lives. My friend's husband is facing a cancer diagnosis this month....they deal with it daily. My mother was ill for three years before her death, for the most part, we were alone with that reality. A friend of ours at church deals with pain daily from lupus and foot problems, yet we who are not facing that reality so blithely go forward without appreciation for what we do not face daily. I am aware this is an awfully inconvenient situation I am in, but I am also aware daily that my situation is going to pass, that it is painful, but manageable, that so many others deal with such harder things and I try very hard to keep a perspective of thankfulness.
One thing is clear to me. I will become purposefully more aware of those around me and how to alleviate their trials.....just because I am busy is no excuse not to reach out and help other people who need assistance, more importantly, how defeating it is to struggle alone...I would not wish that on anyone.

God is good.

Tuesday

2009-09-01T07:26:00.002-05:00

Good Morning! Today's tasks are lined out. Review auditorily some editing I need to do. Type up some marketing ideas I have for a client, and manage to do something with the chicken in the fridge and put a pot roast in the crock pot, I can't ignore the groceries that are thawed forever. Simple daily goals along with the usual daily chores....somehow it all seems taxing though...but that's part of it, perservering through the new normal.
I find myself choosing to simply close my eyes more. If one is going to see fuzzy and unfocused, after a while you get to the point where you'd just prefer not to see. This morning it occurs to me that I do this alot when I am not visually impaired, simply in different areas of my life. Kinda like my dog in Arkansas, he couldn't do anything about a threesome of raccoons in our backyard at night, so he simply didn't "see" them no matter how obnoxious they played at his back window.
We learn to be blind to some things. Oh, we see what someone else does or did with accurate, discriminating vision, but our own behaviors? Lack of efforts? stumblings? no, we simply don't see that at all....and often we simply choose not to look at ourselves at all in our reflections and evaluations.
If you were to take 3 minutes tonight and close your eyes and simply listen to what was said verbally around the table, or during family time, what would you hear? What would you say differently if you knew the only way your children and spouse would "see" your love was to hear it?

God is good and He has a plan.

Monday

2009-08-31T18:22:00.002-05:00

Today was a big day. We loaded up to the cornea specialist in Huntsville and looked forward to good news. Well, the good news is that after 9 days of this, its not any worse. What they know is severe cornea abrasion, severe dry eye with no known originating experience. What this means functionally is my cornea is scarred, very irritated, and opaque for now. The doctor reminded me that he predicted 16 to 18 week at a minimum for the eye to begin to regenerate the cornea and the trauma to reduce. Lovely.
Tally ho. What that means functionally is no focusing with or without glasses. You see out your eyes....but you see shapes, not focused thing...you see waavy where it isn't waavy...and you simply don't see most things. If you bring things 1-3 inches from your right eye, you can focus for about 1.5 inches or 2.5 sometimes. My iphone strangely enough is about perfect size for focus when i can focus...which is not for long...and not predictable. Sunday afternoon it lasted about 3 hours. Today, not so much.
We had an adventure never the less. The Tennessee Walking Celebration Horse Show is going on about an hour north of our home. We met a friend on the road complete with new cowboy hat and very very dark sunglasses to protect me and away we went. I cannot begin to tell you how silly a girl feels in sunglasses and cowboy hats with a skirt and shirt accompanying two men and a daughter through the arena, but then again, why not. It was a delightful day with our friend and Madison had a wonderful time seeing the arena, the barns and a sale barn. I spent my time enjoying the company, hearing stories, and trying to see what I couldn't see well.
Home again tonight, realizing that I will be rediscovering how to live life as a very low vision person for a while....and perhaps if I behave well, by Christmas I will regain the ability to focus my eyes....and the cloudy covering over my corneas will regress. Turns out, the chores still need to be done, work still needs to be accomplished, and I have so much to be thankful for.

Outtakes?

Oh yes.....

having a husband pick out new makeup for you, only realizing later he chose 3 shades too light foundation....

Drinking what you think to be diet mt dew to discover it was countrytime lemonade...yuck!

choosing the salsa bottle from the fridge....the HOT one, not the mild one...

not being able to find a 2nd shoe.....on 4 different pairs of shoes....so much for my organization

learning to fork vegetables, my fork to target aim is p i t i f u l apparently

learning to cut foods the right size for my mouth, just keeping it all still so I can cut is an experience....

Its an adventure here, but one we're getting through.....Les is really patient and we're thankful its not something harder or more permanent.

hugs!
Sweetie

Sunday

2009-08-30T11:08:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Les spent the day removing everything from our bedroom, scrubbing it down, and then vacuuming the ceiling, fans, etc. By nightfall we were able to return me to our room and I didn't have a response. We were told to throw away all makeup, rewash all clothes, and scrub all surfaces with ammonia.

I made it through the day with only a few flares and I slept all night.

It is very different to have your vision functionally stripped without warning. A week ago I was at an event hearing a friend speak. The next day I could no longer focus, drive, tolerate light, or function for work as I had before.

Today we're to a place where the 24/7 pain is gone. From time to time something flares my eye response again, dust, light, temperature, and my eyes get red again, but most of the day I can stay inside, away from windows and just be without pain. Without warning I have 20-45 minutes of focus ability out of my right eye when my eyes have been calm enough...and I am allowed to work, write, or do whatever is comfortable. My laptop is on the dimmest setting, which means you'll get spelling errors....or synonym errors....I can't reread what I write for the most part.

I somehow thought I would wake up much better today...yesterday had been a better day for most of the day, then it wasn't. The doctor has said it will be a 16-18 week process, but somehow we thought if we identified the issues, it wouldn't be....but as we identify things that go badly, more come to light. Apparently now that they are irritated, everything gets to them.

You realize you are not getting things handled. You realize that things must be handled...and you keep trying....how frustrating it is to know you are not doing what you need to get done.

I know I have little enough to deal with in this, so many others have such harder lives daily. I am thankful that this taste of ill health and difficulty is indeed a taste and not my daily life forever. How poor a patient I am.

Like all things, one small change at a time....one step as I can to do what I can do and eventually it will be get done.

God is God and He is present in my times of need.

Saturday, August 29

2009-08-29T14:42:00.004-05:00

Les is home. Words cannot express how much this helps. I woke up today with no pain, then I opened my eyes. ugh.

Today is better, I am staying in the dim light, not trying to use my eyes more than 10 minutes at a time. Les has scrubbed our bedroom and bathroom suite and has put out tests to see what is in that rooom. So far no news is good news. He threw away all my makeup, soaps, and they rewashed everything again that had been in that room. (well, they've started, its my whole closet) Meanwhile, we are still doing the hourly things with medicene to keep my eyes from going nuts.

My right eye has no fog over it today, but still doesn't focus, my left eye still has a layer of something covering focus ability but I am not hurting as much today and so far not one "flair up" of amazing swelling or pain...yay!!!!

Thank you so much for your prayers. We go back to the cornea specialist on Monday who will be in Huntsville. Les is taking off work to take me. I am hoping to hear the cornea abrasion is better.

God is God and I am trusting that there is a plan in this as well. I am so thankful for Madison and the other children, they are all helping get through this! Les coming home was by far the best help! How appreciative I am for David Cooper as well, who has faithfully called throughout the days to keep my mind entertained on something to think about besides hurting.

hugs
Sweetie

Friday Update

2009-08-28T09:44:00.003-05:00

Dear Friends,
I keep thinking I'll wake up and this will be over. Yesterday I had a relatively pain free day until evening. My eyes aren't working right yet. We know its some kind of response to an allergy (I've never had allergies) but we are working out the details of what. A big discovery was Wednesday night when I stayed in the living room all evening after the day at doctors, hospital and the specialist and for 4=6 hours was relatively pain free...entered my bedroom again and it went nuts with swelling and pain in 3 minutes. Now for 7 days I had been retreating to my bedroom to rest with eyes swollen mostly shut all week....so apparently I kept returning to the source of the allergan. I cannot even wear clothes from my closet after washing them, they still cause a major response within minutes after washing....its the strangest thing.
Two days out now, my swelling is down and blinking pain is ending....but this morning I woke up with the stage of not tolerating any light again. Dark room, low level laptop and then this will be seriously over in 10 to 20 minutes for more hours. TV light hurts, window light hurts...then like magic, for a few hours it won't....its not predictable... sometimes I can tolerate light from the laptop on dim, other times no light at all this morning....
The doctors have ruled out tumor, cancer, aneurysm, but they know something has destroyed 30-40% of the layers of my cornea, that my eye is severly abrased, and we don't know why. They are thinking extreme dry eye that eventually even blinking was sloughing off my cornea surfaces by blinking. I have a high tolerance to pain so they think perhaps I didnt know it was happening for weeks until my body absolutely could not tolerate it anymore, so it may have been going on for days before it got to this level.
Can you say 2 x 4 method of changing everything in my life? Everything you take for granted is gone as far as seeing goes....Think about not seeing for 5 minutes. You can't read, you can't drive, you can't anything for a little while if moving, blinking causes blinding pain again. Drops every 45 minutes, gels in at night to moisture the cornea...steroids to slow down swelling. The cornea specialist says no quick fixes 16-19 weeks and then we'll see. ugh. This is not fun.
I have speak to read and other programs which will "read aloud" to me, so I am thankful for experience already using tools like these as a teacher of children who used them.
Its the weirdest space to go through this. You keep thinking "is this the new normal or am I missing something " like realizing it gets worse in my bedroom. Mold from the antique furniture we moved in 30 days ago? New makeup or hairspray? I just never had allergy responses before now everything is irritating.
We won't even talk about what this does to my work requirements which is almost 100% visual! Or how seeing 7 doctors in as many days hits your budget even with insurance....or how your husband in another state for the week in the middle of the storm leaves you pretty darn helpless...you can't drive, you can't go to the grocery store, you can't even go outside to pick up mail. Chase was kind enough to pick me up from the hospital after our church was kind enough to take me to the last appointment....and then as you're dropped off, you can't see the walls, signs, or doors to go to....and you look normal, so folks assume you are, you run into chairs, coke machines, and miss elevators, because you can't see them. You leave the appointment and know you need to go down , but was it one floor or two, you're alone and you're really aware of it. I'm not shy but there was no one in the halls, no one to ask for help....very humbling.
We're 7 days in now and I am figuring out that laundry can be started, eggs can be scrambled, and of course Madison is superb help. When I have enough vision I am looking and doing what I can. I have no constrainsts for seeing, if I can see they say to use good judgement but do what I can do.
You just don't know what hits next. Last night I looked almost normal, no more bloodshot red eyes and swollen eyes, cloudy vision in one eye, none really in the other, but this morning both eyes back to red and swollen....light sensitive extreme and somehow back to uncomfortable, but not the blinking level of pain (where even blinking hurts).
I finally crashed and sent a child to buy fried chicken box, a rotisserre one and some easy foods after 5 days of our freezer was empty and I just couldn't handle cooking....do you know just how much it take to keep our 3 fed and clothed? I am slacking terribly keeping it up.
Meanwhile I am trusting that things will improve, trying to figure out the lesson in this, appreciating that I have not lived through this my whole life and that this too will pass we think. I am thankful for phone calls, suggestions, and kindness of others who have taken up my slack and helped. I simply don't know how to tell you what this is like, but God is God and we are not and this will be figured out. Les flies in tonight thank goodness and hopefully between us we'll figure out what the doctors can't.....what is in my environment at home that is in my room.

hugs
Sweetie

Learning new appreciation

2009-08-24T22:49:00.003-05:00

For the past five days now I have been learning new appreciation for my eyes. On Thursday night I took out my contacts as usual, but within moments it felt like someone had taken a sand blaster to my eyes. Pain, redness, amazing response....and within moment reeling in unexpected and unwanted misery.
We still don't know why, or what for sure. It seems to be perhaps an allergy to a hairspray that I have used only 4 times. The first three I had really red eyes, but I was in a hotel, working long hours and perhaps thought there was mold in the room...which I know I am suspectible to. However Thursday I used this hairspray again and all day my eyes were dry but not overly bothersome ...though truthfully I was an an all day event that kept my attention so wrapped that perhaps I wouldn'thave noticed ...I am truly able to block discomfort at a high level.
Friday morning I woke up to unimagineable pain just to blink. Light hurt my eyes, blinking hurt, and there was no clear vision no matter what glasses I put on. The doctors were stumped but hit it up with steroids and antibiotics to begin...today is my birthday and I have to tell you, my eyes are better, but it still hurts to see, to read, to look at light. The swelling is down on the outside, but unfortunately interior swelling may have cost me vision permanently....its a wait and see time...
If you're used to seeing me tweeting...or here..know that I am away but hoping to be back sooner than later. For now, vision is reserved for work, home, and things that have to be...
and thankfully it will be temporary we think!
hugs!
Sweetie

Fresh Monday

2009-08-17T06:22:00.003-05:00

Do you ever decide that "this" is the Monday? You know the one, the Monday that the "to do" list will be completed, that efficiency will enter your work day. That the sun will shine and the birds will sing and at the end of it you'll be waiting in pearls by the door with dinner ready on the table?
The truth is I can usually pull off the being at the door and dinner on the table. The lists? Not so much. I try very hard to tell myself its because I have too much to do, that there isn't enough time to accomplish what I need to do....but the truth often is that I simply didn't do enough the hours I had available to do tasks....though it would be fair to say that very often the tasks before me outweigh the time available to complete them as well...
This morning we begin our new homeschooling year. Madison is in seventh grade this year and that alone is hard to believe! We began homeschooling her in the third grade. She is an easy homeschooler in that she likes school. The hard part is, she has learning issues that make it difficult to keep coming up with new ways to get the information in formats she understands.
This year we will work themeatically through the courses as we have for three years now, it works for both of us. She loves to thoroughly learn topics and with the depth we study, it somehow overcomes the difficultness of doing the learning.
This early a.m. I am working on work projects nearing completion. Each morning I have writing to do five days a week, then school Madison, then return to projects until the boys are home after school. If I don't have everything working where it should be, or there is a deadline looming, I work again when everyone heads to bed at 9 p.m. Today will be one of those days.

The verse for today is:

Titus 1:16 They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.

I have to say that verse stings on many levels for me today. How many times this weekend was my attitude toward working poor? Toward doing the extra miles that needed to be done? Did I give my attention with a cheerful and peaceful spirit? Did I reach out and do what I knew needed to be done? Our works indeed are louder than our words, and the attitude to which we handle each part of life that comes is a more defining measure of our closeness to God don't you think?

Father God,
Forgive me for my impatience, for my frustrations, for losing the countenance of thanksgiving when all you have given me is before me. Help me to use your gifts for others today and to be a blessing to them.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Thankfulness.....something to think about...

2009-08-14T18:44:00.002-05:00

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. (Melody Beattie)

Isn't this so very true?
hugs!

Company Girl Coffee 8.14.09

2009-08-14T07:26:00.005-05:00

Good Morning Girls!!!

I know you've already seen Rachel Anne Ridge's Video here and I can tell you it was a GREAT story in person too!!! I was so privileged to be in that audience to experience first hand Rachel's sharing and God's caring through her voice!

This week was the first I have spent at home since May! Can you imagine??? The week was filled with catching up on clients, working on two website projects, doing my usual writing for clients and trying to get back into a routine at home.

My God whispers this week were about peace. My own whispers were questioning if my motives are correct in ministry. Am I focusing on His work, their needs, and ministries that God sets before me, or am I being caught up in the "me" isms that so easily lead me astray. The measuring stick of my heart must always be carefully weighed for so many people get completely off the beaten trail of God's path doing the "logical" or the "profitable" instead of simply listening for God's next move.

We had a tomato thief early in the week in our garden boxes and after a few interrogations of innocent children we found that indeed the culprit was family....

Drake simply LOVES vine ripe tomatoes....who would blame him???

My son in high school began a new school this year by his choice. He requested to leave the large public school here after 1.5 years and enroll in a Christian school locally. It was a pretty large decision for him, he will have to sit out athletics for an entire year, and this child is wired in athletics, but he felt it was important enough to do so. I am so relieved to see him come home each day from the new school, his entire countenance has changed before our eyes in just the first week.....Austin is an excellent public school, it was simply not right for Chase....too big, too much pressure, too much period after being reared in much smaller, more academic schools.

Daughter is excited about homeschool restarting on Monday. She was not well most of the week so we delayed school beginning at home until the 19th, so she can start a short week just as her brothers did. College boy is still at home and working, we haven't seen much of him between his work and social schedule.

Today I am at a public school as an Educational Consultant again. I love working as a specialist in Gifted Education and Special Education, today I have a two-fer. The school needs help in both areas, and I love this particular staff!

This weekend we have a full schedule Saturday, and I am looking very forward to being with Les for the entire weekend! The children are home and we'll enjoy some time together doing the things that have to be done!

What's up in your life this week? Can't wait to hear!!!

hugs, hugs hugs!!!!

Recognizing What's Important and Why....

2009-08-13T06:35:00.004-05:00

There is this continuing struggle within my mind to keep first things first. I am not an optimal manager of a zillion things at once...in fact, though I multitask on levels most folks would be horrified to have to face....I simply prefer to focus one thing until its finished. I enjoy giving attention to detail and doing a thorough job...but lately I have had to simply suffice to get jobs done at home and within my daily "to do" list.
This morning once again I revisit my goals of the day....

To begin the day with God as soon as I get up, to pray, read, and listen to the Holy Spirit's leadings for the day, my life, and our family.
To do action oriented steps to express to my husband and my children that they are important to me, to nurture, care, and use words that reflect the love that my heart holds for them.
To fulfill to the clients I have chosen to accept, my deep desire to help them with their business growth.....to help them understand the steps to take to present, market, and improve their outcomes.
To care more about helping people than about measuring success financially, the economy I am most concerned with is success in God's economy.
To interact with everyone on my path in ways that lead them to want to know more about this God I love.

Lofty stuff isn't it....and I fail on a million levels weekly....but without the goals, how does one reach the finish line?

God is good, and its time for me to get back to work!

The Evidence is In.....the Burgular is Caught!

2009-08-12T10:07:00.002-05:00

We've had a rash of ripe tomato disappearances in our garden boxes.....each of the children have vehemently denied their participation.....though all four of our children and several of their friends are serious tomato lovers....but this morning I snapped the burgular in action....

and there is absolutely no remorse from the guilty party...

but then again can you blame Drake? Tomatoes fresh from the vine are delicious!!!

It didn't take forever???

2009-08-12T06:39:00.004-05:00

I grew up with dinner on the table at 5 p.m. sharp. I mean, dinner was at five! My mom did not always stay home, she was during my childhood, a counselor, a graduate student, an office manager for my father's medical practice, and heavily involved in church and community....yet...dinner was at 5 pm. Homemade. By Mom.

Now that I am the Mom, I realize just how much easier my life is as an adult because I had a mom who cooked, sewed, and did the "mom" activities when I was young. The thing is, I cook out of self defense. My friends often tease me about being "Martha" where dinner is concerned, because I prefer the table to be set, napkins to be used, I prefer the meal to be homemade (not premade). It is not snot factor, its simply survival. I have learned that my children and our blended family do best when we share meals together....it is the time of days they are willing to share their lives with us....if we listen. As far as budget...well, dinner is survival there too....when I make our meals, we can do groceries on $75 a week or so for a family of six including 5 dogs food....when we go out, that can happen in a meal. It is health too (though its not my forte reasonsing...I'm salt sensitive, so not eating premade food often is important if I don't want to feel like a sponge filled up) Napkins can be washed, and reused, and more importantly don't create trash for me to fuss at a son for emptying more of....when he's barely getting out what is already!!

This was true when I taught school as well. My system was to cook up on Saturday or Sunday afternoon or evening (that mean have 3 meals in the oven at once) or to grill up meat for several nights. For me, its about 1/2 the week at a time, get the main courses down, then heat vegetables or cook fresh, add salad and breads. Plan the quick and easy meals on church or ballgame night. Dinner isn't always elegant, but its always dinner. Twice a week I try my hardest to include a baked dessert, but Madison thankfully has a love for baking, so its her realm now! In the summer its all about grilled dinners, in the winter its all about crock pot dinners. Bottom line, if I take the time to line out the dinner meals based on what is on sale for meat at the store or what is in my freezer if it wasn't a good week to buy meat, then dinner is a breeze.

Yesterday was an example. I started bread dough in the bread machine for rolls. After the machine did the messy parts while they were getting ready for school, then I rolled out the dough and cut round rolls, brushed them in butter and folded them in half to make Parker rolls. They were set aside to rise for 20 minutes while the hubbub went through the kitchen. Meanwhile I put chicken breasts (that had been on sale for .99) in the crock pot at 2:00 p.m. to go with the rolls. Farmer's market had provided okra and green beans the day before so at 4:30 I put them both on a simmering pot in the kitchen (clean vegetables, add water, a little onion and bacon to the beans) The okra was ceremoniously stripped of its healthiness in milk dip and breading and fried to my children's delight. Five o'clock calls....everyone checks in as they are coming home (leaving practices, etc) and sure enough, with dinner's menu announced, they all get home speedily by 5:30 with knees under table.

Thursday night is family night at our home. It is also Chef night. We started this when our step family was brand new and I wanted each of the children to get 1:1 attention and time with me. I was teaching then so family night was a big production because I felt like we had to literally tag a night "family night" to create ours!! One of the children or teens and a friend decided the menu on Sunday and they come early enough to work with me to do "their"menu. Thursday nights last year often included a pack of eight teenaged football players who for want of better reasons figured out "hey Arkansaw cooks!" because Son2 was making meat and potato meals after football practice and it turned into the frenzy feed every Thursday night as we fed bottomless pits and enjoyed their company for the evening. It turned into dinner and a movie, or dinner and a devotion and we learned to love these tough to the bones football guys....I always want our table to be open to whom ever is there, sometimes that means entrees are split or a sandwich is served to overcome entre's being split...but it's all good.

Dinner? Time with all of our heads bowed praising God for His goodness to us.....20 minutes of sitting together, hearing about a new school for son2, son1's day at work, Dh's teasing daughter about Star Trek, and daughter sharing she'd signed up to win a horse and tack. Mom smiling quietly to herself as she realizes that dinner didn't take forever and yes, it is worth it.

The Parts We Often Overlook

2009-08-11T07:36:00.003-05:00

I am often amazed as I read the Bible in the mornings (well to be honest, some mornings when I manage to make time for God.....) Today was one of those verses that made me sit up and say "are you getting that?"

Matthew 18:10 "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven ALWAYS see the face of my Father in heaven." (NLT)

Do we take time to acknowledge that each of us has a guardian angel? A Father in heaven who listens and hears the reports of our doings? Who loves us deeply and has created us for His purposes? The Bible speaks of it in many locations. Do we take time to acknowledge that God truly knows and sees our every breath and has known them since before we were knit in our mother's womb?

So much of our human existence is wasted thinking we are truly in charge, in control...when the truth is we're stumbling around trying to be in charge in control when God truly is.....

again this morning I surrender and ask for forgiveness for failing to begin and end each day with praises that God is God and I am not....for not listening more to the Holy Spirit's whispering when I am too busy "being" all the things that I lead me to do instead of listening for what He would have me do....

Too many days in my life, when I am on God's plan, doors simply open, mountains seem to move....and then there are the days I go my own ways....and the path always leads to no where...

God's mercy cancels our mistakes, our sins, our messups and our ugly......are we forgiving others theirs?

"Why do you speak to the people in parables?"
11He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 13This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: " 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.

God is God and I am thankful for his Word!

Please Lord, help me not to have a hardened heart, but to truly listen, hear, see and do thy will.....today.

First Days for a Step Child..

2009-08-10T08:02:00.004-05:00

Today is the first day of school for many children. For children like my own, it is a day some of them dread. For children of divorce, it is a day again that they know their family isn't like the forms at school. Each class the teachers ask them for information about their home, their parents, their numbers, and each time a child has to explain or write down a set of parents....not knowing for sure why their other parents aren't provided a line. ....or if they shouldn't mention they have parents who do not live in the same state, much less the same town....

My children have parents in two states. I have shared custody of our children, they live with me during the school year, but their natural dad loves them dearly as does their stepmom. They want to receive newsletters, report cards, school news, but we have to go to much effort usually to make sure they are included. Somehow a forwarded newsletter from school feels like a slight.
My children are not intentionally left out by schools and teachers, but they are left fragile when the awareness that at least half of the children in a school now do not have enough room on two lines to name their parents and addresses. Its sad truly...but its a truth children shouldn't have to suffer or pay for during the first days of school. My daughter, who is 13, asked to simply use her stepdad's last name when we moved to Alabama. I was rather surprised, but then she explained "I am tired of having a different last name than our family here" which made perfect sense. Children do not want to stand out, to be different, to feel not a part of the "norm" at school, church, sports, etc.

For years I had family cards printed that said the child's name then the two sets of parents names and numbers so each coach, teacher, or leader would have at hand the right information. Sleepovers and field trip leaders had those cards so they would know who to call when. (1,3,5th weeksends my children were at their dads) We've had an emergency with a child whose friend's parent did not know all of our numbers....that was indeed a nightmare, so I was aware how important it is that even if my ex husband takes a child somewhere, it is important that somewhere know ALL of our contact informations

One of the things that my children love is that Jesus was a stepchild too. I can only imagine Joseph's daily life knowing the Almighty God was indeed his stepson's natural father.....My children also know that families sometime adopt others into their family...as we have several of our dearest friends....whom my children consider family just as they do their genetic first cousins or aunts....the truth is that being accepted, loved, chosen is a gift....and I am so thankful this morning that our Father in heaven has created, loved, chosen us all as His.....

If you are a teacher, a Sunday school leader, a coach, a minister, a doctor, or professional that deals with children....please be aware children of step families want so much to not be identified as "different" and some of the old "What would your mother say" or "obey your father" lines may create much more of an emotional bang than you wanted it to if Mom left seven years ago......please be aware that children so want your approval, and support, be aware that so often their parents divorce sometimes makes them feel ashamed ....and awkward....and that isn't fair for any child...they've been through enough. We also need to be aware with so many step and blended families, that not every adult has the legal right to pick up, communicate, or hear about a child's activities...its wise to ask the custodial parent how they would like communication handled....and more importantly, its important that the child not be put in the middle!

Mornings and Management...

2009-08-10T06:48:00.002-05:00

Happy Monday! Last week was a week of change at our home. The children began school again, a son became a driver complete with a truck his natural dad provided....eek!....I returned home from weeks of travel and a different routine....and I changed the name of my blog.
Rachel Anne wants to know the story of the blog name change, so I will share. When I came to Alabama, my business name changed from Sweetwrites! to She's So There...mainly because the night the city council met, there had to be a change in the business name and my blog name was the first I thought of on the spot. That worked well, except....business....is business and while I do not mind at all anyone reading my blog...I'm me where ever I am....some people were landing on the blog looking for my business and the business looking for the blog. It somewhat bothered my husband that I had shortened the title of She's So There where ever THERE is....to She's So There...as we redesigned the header a few months ago. He and I read it entirely differently...mine was about being a stepmom, wife, creative strategist...mess maker....he read it as "arrived". As I reflected Les's take on that for several weeks it was clear to my heart that I would so prefer to use my secondary blog "Growing into Lovely" if I am to be sharing my hope to do just that....to allow God to turn me into something lovely...positive...pleasant...caring...
You'd think a blog title wouldn't be hard to choose, but baby that took three weeks!!! We have another domain that I love as well, where I keep track of each thing that delights me that I call "A Simple Joy" and then there was this whole Wordpress or Blogger issue. It seems the "chic" crowd are migrating to Wordpress for its SEO features (Search Engine Optimization ) but the truth is that I am a blogger girl....through and through. I did indeed create a blog there, but even that is proof that I fell to pressures that were not my delight, but my need to please....and it will be repointed to the www.asimplejoy.blogspot.com address soon.
The truth is, I want "Growing into Lovely" to be my focus, to be who I am, to remind me daily as I write that this is about becoming what God urges me to be....not some popularity measure, or business basic, or place to compete with the Miss Jones' of the blogosphere....I simply want this to be a place to share the journey, to learn from each other, and to cultivate joy in whatever we face in this life.
This week I am working on two huge projects, both due this week, so I am frustrated with myself for choosing deadlines during the second week of a new routine. Les is being so gracious to come home and help and not say "I told you so" though it would be so his right to do so!

God is good! Lean into Him and listen for His whisperings....

Sweetie

The Club

2009-08-08T06:57:00.002-05:00

When I moved as an eleven year old, the new town and school was very clique-ish....they dressed differently, they were divided into groups of societies, and they were not exactly friendly to the new girl.....I didn't measure up to their standards of dress codes, possessions, or allowed behaviors. At our home, we were about school for learning, clothes for modesty, and life was not about how popular we were....
Blogging is much the same way for me. I love visiting other's blogs and sites that are choosing to live life for others. Choosing to do the best they can with where they are....while striving to do better. While I blog professionally for some businesses and individuals, my personal blog, Growing into Lovely, is simply that...my personal blog. Its not an advertising piece, nor designed to be an income provider, its simply where I enjoy writing and reflecting!
Lately I have fallen back to the comparision method of life. I have been around women and men who measure value of their lives and success financially. How easily I went into immediately beating myself up for not achieving their goals, their way.....then my Father prodded me again to realize I am exactly as He made me....and if I need anything I am to ask....not worry....and while I adore my friends, and truly admire what they do with their lives, my own life has a different call on it.
I spent alot of weeks wondering if I was simply afraid of financial success, or defining it as something I can't be a part of, or unwilling to learn the skills of more financially successful ventures....but as I pondered, prayed, and studied, I realized again that in our family we have a different set of values.
My husband's goal was to bring me home from a 40-50 hour work week for others outside out home. To give me the freedom of not working at times when we feel our family needs me home, and at other times to allow me the freedom to do creative projects for others. I love helping others reach their goals in writing, marketing, and planning. My years experience with specialty learning issues makes me a resource for parents, schools, and administrations that face the situations we faced. Our work with restoring families matters to us, and more importantly was a God assignment.....
All that to say....

Are you allowing your own mind, or your friend's words to beat you up? Do you feel less or unsuccessful because someone else is trying to bind you with their definitions of who you should be? This may be a family member, a boss, or a friend....what words do you use during the day to yourself? Are you affirming your choices in life? Are you choosing to live the life your heart is hoping and dreaming for? What things do you dream of being different?

So many things in our lives we simply DO have the power to change.....for me it was wanting to do more to allow my husband and children to know they matter. Darn folks, when I asked them what makes them feel loved, you would know its clean laundry in their drawers.......aaaarrrrghhh........but the truth is, I love doing it for them knowing that it makes them feel loved.

What makes you feel loved?

One of the best parts of my world are the moments when I am in the Word and realize that God loves me.....that I am somewhat on the path He has me on because I am aware of the inner peace and joy that comes with walking in God's paths for you.....too often lately I was off the beaten path of where I needed to be, chasing identities, and approval for goals that simply may not line up with the ones Dh and I set as our family goals...

What makes me feel loved is knowing that when I do struggle with decisions, there are friends I can call, email, tweet, or talk to that will pray with me for wisdom, for peace, for supernatural help from our heavenly Father to face whatever it is we're facing together......and they do!!

God is good, have a GREAT Saturday and know that you're always in God's club....just ask and He'll let you in!

Company Girl Coffee 8.7.2009

2009-08-07T09:17:00.000-05:00

Good Morning!
I am so glad to be home in Alabama today so I can hostess you!!! The joy of being back home again after several weeks of hotels, on the road, and working while the children were gone is immeasurable!
Yesterday schools started for our junior in high school. He has chosen to go to a Christian school this year again after two years in the public high school of our town. I am surprised and delighted with this request (if not devestated at the tuition costs!) but my heart is joyful that our junior is choosing a smaller, more nurturing environment to spend his high school time! We will be homeschooling our youngest daughter, who is 13 now....and I wouldn't trade time with her for the world!
D2 indeed came home from the summer very much a teenager at 5'2". I am so pleased that she's comfortable in her own skin. I think it was not until my thirties that I liked who I was and felt somewhat comfortable with who I am...she's miles ahead of me....God is so working in her heart and His love through her is amazing!
Tonight is date night, we have not had a night out alone in many many weeks, we've often had evenings with friends, but tonight it is just the two of us. I am excited to be going to the movie, we've opted for dinner with the children at home (done special) before hand, so we are keeping on budget. Last night's family night lasagna and french bread was a hit with a movie with our teens and college boy, so they requested another special meal tonight....which we are happy to comply with!
This week I have been working on two big projects, both of them in areas that I am still learning! I am so ready to be past some of the vertical learning curves I am in right now, but that's part of learning....doing the work to learn!
I told my husband Les this morning that I must love him more than anything as I stood with hands in a sink full of lasagna foul dishes....somehow cleaning the kitchen didn't get done when we were having family night and it wasn't prettier this morning at 5:30 when I entered the arena....I don't think anyone would ever accuse me of being overly neat. It is amazing to me how 15 minutes in a kitchen can so clean something so messy.....it always reminds me of God's forgiveness and washing us white as snow when we ask forgiveness. No matter how awful the kitchen was, as I address each area of dirt, whether it be on dishes, counters, floors, or dripped down the cabinets, when I take time to address each area, and remove what doesn't belong there, the result is so pleasant....no more sticky, gooey, messes that make me feel guilty.....much like the sin that creeps in my life (sometimes parades with pride in) God, when I will allow him, patiently helps me identify and clean those areas of my heart and mind until they too aren't sticky, gooey, stress producing messes!
I am thankful for friends who pray for me. At one point I was so overstressed and I tweeted to a friend, please pray for me today, and within hours I knew indeed her prayers were being answered as I was able to focus, concentrate and find a much more peaceful day! Karen Rabbitt, you are precious to me! Is there something you would like Les and I to pray for for your family in our morning or evening prayer time? I would be honored to do so!

God is good, pour another cup and let me hear from you!!!

hugs!

Looks Are Deceiving

2009-08-07T09:15:00.001-05:00

I am always amazed at how easily we accept outward appearances as valid identifiers of a person's inner heart. We somehow as humans naturally equate "neat" with "together", "fancy" with "of value" or "manicured" as "well done". The truth is most visuals are deceiving whether in business or as a tool to evaluate people.
There are many walks I walk as a work from home business owner and very often I am surprised after working with a firm long enough to know some of their inner workings that may not be apparent from the outset. Very often what impressed me when I took them on as a client either changes or broadens as I become more involved with their company. Appearances won't hold up long when appropriate depth is used to truly evaluate a person or a situation.
Success has several meaningful factors, but one of the clearest that is also most consistent in business, is what is on the outside advertising has to be how the inside operates. Companies that hinge themselves on being honest, dependendable, or reliable....must be...well...honest, dependable and reliable....integrity counts...

In couple hood, Les and I encounter many couples and families in our ministry to step and blended families in which looks are very often deceiving. The stigma of a failed marriage or marriages seems often to be attempted to be covered up in "stability" looks, behavior,affluence and efforts to be anything but a blended or step family. So many times as we work with a group, eventually the statement comes up..."How could you possibly know what we're going through....you and Les have it together...you've never been through what we're facing"

and then I simply smile....

for the truth is, I have had not one, but two divorces in my past. I have been left for someone else. I have failed so miserably as a wife than not one, but two men found it preferable to go elsewhere than to return home, the woman at the well's desire to get water at a time of day when no one else would be there I completely understand......I have walked the road as a single woman, the first divorce in my entire extended family.....a very public failure....a very public divorce. A second time embarassed beyond measure as a twice divorced woman with two small children (I'm talking 19 days and 3 years old folks) and faced being a teacher in a community where divorce was frowned upon and seen as not an acceptable situation for "their" teaching staff.

and I know all too well how much I would like to have a life eraser that simply erases the ugly parts of my imperfections, mistakes, and misfortunes....erase entire parts of my life history....

but the truth is God is God of that part of my life too. He took those mistakes, failures, and horrible choices and forgave me of them....God restored my heart and pieced it back together....he later sent a man of integrity to shield my heart and protect it for the rest of my life....to love my children as his own and to provide two more children for me to love of his own...

"Yes, I can see where you're coming from thinking no one could possibly understand......but you see....I've been there too.....twice...."

and through tear stained eyes....after hours of hearing my husband and I speak on family, on restoration, of healing and of forgivenss....very often I realize that that moment indeed is exactly why God allowed me to have such a past...so that I could love and completely have mercy others who are facing their present from a position that is not far removed from my own past...

God is God and I am so beyond thankful for His heart and His love!

What it Takes...

2009-08-04T06:22:00.000-05:00

School for my family is a politically correct situation I suppose, who knew that choosing for each child what would be appropriate for him or her would indeed mean we would homeschool one, private school one, and public school our older two. This year our son will be a junior in the local Christian private school. His request, his choice after two years in a public high school. He found the larger city high school to be overwhelming and missed the comfort of being in school with mostly folks like ourselves with the same personal boundaries. Our youngest is a seventh grader this year and she's homeschooled. Her learning differences would be defined as gifted/ld in a public school due to her dysgraphia and dyslexia...but with one to one instruction at home she maintains gradelevel work and advances well. As a young child she was diagnosed as ADD without hyperactivity...and as we have grown with her we realized she is very food sensitive to carbs and a few other items. As we rearranged when she eats sugar and carbs we found that sleep patterns and learning patterns corrected......a much more worthwhile choice for our family then continuing to medicate her, which we did for two years.
Today I am working at home on several projects that are as varied as my life is at times. There's a project for inner city children in Texas to help develop an equestrian program for a 501c3 organization. There's work with a garden writer who has a new book coming out in January....another project with tweens for afterschool curriculum for B2G, Becoming God's Girl. ...then the regular 8 of our own blogs/ministry/updates I work on weekly and now returning to the professional blogs I update weekly, biweekly, or monthly.Sometimes I just want to squeal and throw my hands up, but the truth is I am extremely thankful for this business I work from home. The truth is writing is a passion for me, and even if its on a given topic or area, I enjoy writing it all.
The house is slowly getting more organized. After the yard sale several weeks ago, I continued on the find items a home or it leaves mine quest. Each month we have designated a weekend to simply be about organizing. Its showing!!! How much more restful is my home when I utilize what I have regularly and find new homes for that which was only stored most of the time.
The weight loss continues. I am officially at 78 lbs down now. I tried on clothes upon arrival home the other day from Dallas for the Fall and was stunned to find that the two wool skirts that had been my marker for a benchmark now fit and are flattering to wear. Wow, that was October's goal!! I am still doing just as I did before, heavy load of protein in the mornings, avoid sugar and carbs, and only eat what truly tastes amazing to me. While I was on the road in Dallas I ate decadently for dinners, was so concerned I would pay for that choice, but I had lost 2 lbs upon arrival home....and I was so thankful!
On the parenting front our oldest has been married for 4 months now and seems happy. Our college boy is working from home this summer and returns to school in about 4 weeks, our high school junior is officially driving now and his dad has provided a truck, and our tween has turned into a 5'2" sweetheart over the summer. I love parenting these children and would wish for 4 more if I were to choose.....Dh continues to work very hard daily, lately working 10 hour days five days a week on a project....we are in a new period of life as a married couple and it is a path we are having to find as we go....it is a happy life.
A friend of mine mentioned the other day that their life cards are played close to their chest....and those words keep echoing in my mind....the truth is I don't play my life cards privately....and I don't think I am sorry that I don't. One of my truths is that I am very open about who and what I am...perhaps to my professional detriment, but I am indeed very transparent about what I think, feel, and do for a living....perhaps in business it would be wiser to contain more and share less...but the truth for me is, I'd prefer to put my cards on the table and be clearly about who I am. The second truth I have learned about me lately is one that simply reinforced what I already knew....as much as I could enjoy and do enjoy financial success...growing people is what I do....and if I am to make a choice, I'll choose people every time over money.....thankfully most days I can do both.

Enough rambing for today....can you hear that God is shaping me again? It almost as though the vessel I thought we were shaping is back to being a mass of clay again.....and we shall see where He leads in this new vessel he's creating...

God is good!

The Paths sometimes become...

2009-08-02T20:54:00.000-05:00

Tonight we arrived home with three of our four children at home after a summer of everyone being scattered to the winds. I arrived home from an eleven day business trip to Dallas on Thursday late, had a Friday meeting blow two hours from home, then miraculously resolve, then drive back 7 hours to pick up the children on Sunday morning...drive 3 more hours to visit with family from across the country...then home... Whew I am tired simply thinking about it!
So many unexpected twists and turns to what I thought this summer would be, God is God and I am simply not. I am often amazed and always encouraged at how our Father in heaven knows our paths even when we think we are in the middle of the desert and the canteen has run very dry. This summer I have had the hardest battle of my flesh versus my faith that I have ever had....the complete surrendering of my need to control versus my need for faith in God's control.
Can we simply say, I spent alot of summer in unncessary mental misery as I tried to "logic" whatever this is God is doing in our lives out...
By the way, God loves to use the absolutely unprobable to do the seemingly impossible, and often while he enjoys watching us all see him do his work. There have been moments of seemingly sure things that simply vanished, while absolutely impossible happenings happened without a hitch....God is God and we are not.

Again I am learning the value of first things first. Praise, pray, listen, praise, thank...listen some more...act. God indeed inhabits our praises, and as Ruthie Jacobsen has written, in our darkest moments, our hardest times: God Wants To hear You sing. My summer has not been a dark, nor a hard time, yet it goes down in my diary as one of my personal most difficult for reasons i cannot fully disclose yet...but I know God has had me on his potter's wheel and as he spun the table, my imperfections surface and he continues to work through them....

I wake up each day to the full knowledge that i am simply whatever He made me to be....not what I make me to be....not what I would long to be...but the creation my Creator made me to be....and I try so very hard to find that girl....and own her heart....

God is God, and i am thankful he loves me just as I am....an imperfect child, wife, mom, and stepmom, yet loved despite my imperfections....perfectly...

Choices revisited....

2009-07-29T08:01:00.000-05:00

It has been another week of being away from home while the children are visiting their grandparents and working in another city in another state. I find it interesting to be "out" working again, in some ways its exuberant to stretch my brain and my wardrobe to enjoy using skills I have learned over the years in service....in other ways its so disappointing to know that other side of life (one lived in the business fast lane of power and success) is still what it is....
There is so much debate about where a woman's place is....and I am the absolute first to say, what works for you is your choice....but the choices I have made to come home and prioritize my God, family,and then work have worked for me.
This week among power lunches and late night discussions, as much as I truly enjoy the process of seeing businesses built, and I do....what I am aware of for me is that no matter how fun, profitable, or important to a business the deal I sign is....its still just a deal....for me the joy of a closed business deal is a short term celebration, for building people is what I prefer to do. For me the ultimate success is seeing others reach their goals because they chose to learn the skills that were required....and if i can help them attain them, it is enough....
As I have watched people this week, actually hundreds of them as I worked in an area of Dallas that bustles with business, I have to wonder "What did they give up, what did they compromise to be what they are here...." In many many conversations this week, the demarcation line seemed to be their family.....their boundaries.....very often their morals....

ah.........

Been there, done that, believed that somehow "achieving" some level or income or family would somehow enhance my family's life....when the truth is, for my family....they are more impressed with me choosing to care about their needs more than my own....and I have very much tried to...

I hear many statements like "It is not like I have a choice....' when it comes to their heavy work loads....yet I know there is a choice.....sell the house, take a less taxing position, choose a different career, give up the house boat....turn off the excess....yet these choices somehow do not exist in their definitions of how to best serve.....themselves....for you see, its not glamorous, nor fun to say "i think not on the toys, i'll choose family.......the trip??? Hawaii is just a place....my sons tournament is an event..." What they choose to define success with at times is traded for the deed to owning their own lives....

The choices are hard, ask anyone, and you only get one shot to do this thing called life.....its a really hard puzzle to solve, variables change with each stage of life, work, experience....its hard to know what choices are the ones to choose.....

because I made those choices once upon a time....tried to make all the concessions as to why less time at home was more.....after all I was successful, solvent, and thriving....right up to the moment when I realized it wasn't about me.....

and my children will tell you in a heartbeat they preferred less of all of it with more of Mom.

and no, it wasn't easy for Mom.

life isn't a fairytale that way.

Business success can be intoxicating, there are difficult problems to solve, travel involved, adult conversations required, goals to be met, success to be had....money to be paid....bonuses to earn....and with real effort you can see and measure real results....

rearing a child well......keeping a laundry room empty ....and drawers full....

not so much on the measuring real results....

but if nothing else this week as I see and visit with some of my "old life" friends, co workers, and folks I admired then....I am going home this week knowing I chose correctly....I am at peace with the choices God so led me to make however excruciating they were at the time....

and I wouldn't change a thing.

God is God and I am so thankful for this life He's allowing me.

An in a moment....she aged....

2009-07-27T08:46:00.000-05:00

The last few days I have been in Dallas at a large expo type vendor area. It is interesting to people watch and particularly as one in presentations, I love to "watch the show" of presentations all around me.
As a former teacher, its painful to see thing happen that you know would be different if they only understood why their conversations aren't producing sales conversations. Young, old, gorgeous and plain, on the playing field of successful presenters, its not a matter of looks, but skills....
Yesterday I was fascinated with the ability of one sales person to "connect" naturally with his audience. Young or old, big or small, he showed extremely positive responses to all of them. Eye contact, check, intent, check, goodwill, check, informative, check, this sales boy seemed to have it all going on for him at 26......
right up to the point where when complimented....he said...thank you.....ma'am.....as though I was congratulating him as his....

Mother.

Somehow in an instant, not only did I age....I had a sudden need for cover....you know the type....coverup makeup....anti aging hats......a dark pair of sunglasses....something.....

perhaps I should go visit the nursing home today so perhaps those folks will see me as I am....

Restoration: It's a God thing....

2009-07-20T06:27:00.000-05:00

A week ago today I was in Atlanta at the end of a day of business day. My daughter and I called Dh and asked for help finding an address in town. A few seconds later the address was texted to my phone and we were on our way. You see, my daughter and I had had this dream of going to the American Girl Store for at least six years. When you grow up in Arkansas, getting to an American Girl store is about a 600 miles from home dream. My later mother had purchased my daughter's first Bitty Babies when she was barely born. When my daughter was born, she was the first and only grand daughter for both sides of our families...and she was born early after a very difficult pregnacy in Alaska. We had been told she would have serious issues throughout my pregnancy and we were not sure she would ever be capable of learning at all...we were prepared for her to be severely handicapped mentally and physically, and had been encouraged to end her life during pregnancy because of the issues she had.

My mother sewed for me as a child, when Madison was born, mom began to sew for her as well. Through the years my late mom made matching outfits for daughter and her dolls, we received gifts at Christmas for the dolls, and we loved our time together playing with them. My daughter is now thirteen, yet she still loves her dolls and I love that she does. She has made it "cool" with her friends to bring the American Girls over for pizza and a movie nights, sleep overs, and tea parties.

We're a pretty frugal family, so the concept of $36 dollar doll outfits would have to be saved for Christmas or a birthday, but Monday we were in Atlanta and as we entered the store, just Madison and I, I knew it was going to be a special moment. Madison had her birthday money from June and shopping we did! Some moments you simply have to savor in life. The smile on her face, the energy in her steps as she went from display to display, the way she grabbed my hand to pull me to see this and that... Madison's eyes were bright and shining as we went hand in hand racing to each part of the store, the store was fairly empty and we were being lavished on by the customer service staff. They were amazed we were driving back five hours that night to Alabama and were making Madison's trip as special as possible....I would have so loved to let her do dinner there and stay, but it was not what we could do, so Chick fil a was our next order of business followed by window shopping a few other "big city" stores....then a late night drive home...

It was a moment of victory, it was a moment of restoration of a life I thought was over once upon a time. You see, right after Madison was born I became functionally a single mom with a nineteen days old and a three year old child 6000 miles from any family. When she was three, the divorce paperwork was final. I was a single mom with two children and daycare costs that cost as much as I made teaching...suddenly in a school year without a contract after moving 6000 miles for the job...it simply didn't exist and I was working a $7 hr job at Tyson Foods writing, selling Mary Kay cosmetics to survive and provide a car to drive..... God had a plan, but I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel ...all I knew was nothing that had ever worked was working and there was not much hope of things changing fast enough to overcome the situations I was facing. I simply didn't believe that I'd ever be able to ever live the dreams I dreamed with my children.... I didn't believe we'd have a home again. I didn't believe we'd be happy again. I didn't believe that God would so restore my life in ways I could not imagine....and I certainly couldn't see how I would ever get past surviving on what I was making with no way to move to a place I could return to teaching....

Fast forward to last Monday night....thirteen years later....I drove to Atlanta in a new to me Volvo with a sunroof no less, I own a business I love helping others reach their goals. Who knew that writing a nursing manual for Tyson Foods would completely open new doors twelve years later as the skills learned there and in other situations over the last decade would prepare me for the life I live today? God has blessed me with the most amazing husband I could ever have imagined. We live in a new home God has provided and my life is blessed with two more amazing children.....you see walking across that store threshold was not about a store, it was about living dreams coming true.

We all get to that place where we simply think God can't "fix" what is wrong financially, emotionally, or whatever we're facing.....but God is God and His ways truly aren't our ways.....and He doesn't promise "I'll only fix your mistakes if they are not toooooo difficult" no, God forgives us our sins and guides our steps to a new peace, a new tomorrow, and a new closeness to Him when we seek God. Think about the men and women of the Bible, their mistakes were not small ones, yet God loved them, restored them, and called David a man after his own heart.

I look back at the snaps of Madison and I at that silly store in Atlanta and realize that God is God of the tiniest dreams too.....of dolls and little girl wishes...and Mama's who want so much for their children's dreams to come true. I am truly blessed, humbled again that God is God, and I am not. I am truly thankful that God is a God of the things that truly don't matter a hill of beans in the big picture but God is a Father who delights in loving his children and giving them the desires of their hearts....big and small.

Steps to Organized...Company Coffee 7.17.09

2009-07-17T07:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome Company Coffee Girls! Today you get a short tour of the new project I began last night to improve my "ease" at home...Coffee is in the kitchen, grab a cup and follow me through to the project!!

I believe that I have one natural talent that is perhaps my strongest. I think my vision issues include a sort of blindness that involves simply not seeing the mess I am making or ignoring until its taken over a space!!!! Creative...oh yes I am as creative as the day is long, I am also just apt to come up with an idea and follow it through to completion of a new product, masterpiece, or design, however that means sometimes the challenge is making sure routines and daily schedules are followed! I am extremely detailed in art projects, in organizing marketing campaigns, but the order of one master bedroom simply is a challenge at times. I would like to think its because I grew up in an antebellum home without closets or drawered dressers, but the truth is, that was over 30 years ago and if I had wanted to learn organization by now I would have....and I have decided this is the year for my home to reflect the ease I feel helping others in friendships, my business relationships and educational consulting.

Step one.

We moved into a home in another state a year ago now (while DH was in Kuwait no less) and we chose to leave over 50% of our clutter behind. The thing is we needed to leave another 50% out after moving in to a 1/2 the size of the last home before, but we're getting that accomplished a little more each 3nd weekend of the month...yes, we've declared it "one step towards peace in our home" Fridays.

Step Two

Buy, rearrange, or borrow appropriate space containers. Most of my furniture has come from careful observation of yard sales, side of the road get rid ofs, and a few friends who didn't want this or that later on.... Recently my cousin John Stott drove up a bedroom suit to me from Tallahassee. It matched one that my late mother had had, was of the era of my Grandmother Geddie, and John was kind enough to bring it to Birmingham to bring it to me. At first I wasn't sure it would work, the drawers were not deep (old stuffers definition of what a "good dresser" would do) But as we thought about it, the additional drawers (9) would allow a couple of items each and suddenly my clothing items would have a home. My lacy things would have a beautiful home and I would know exactly where to find them.....no more scrambling for things when that rare moment arrives when the children are gone or finally asleep!!!

Step Three

Use Nester's guides to It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful...and hang up the things I already owned to make it work around it. In my heart of hearts, this set will be painted black and hand rubbed like the set Dh did for me last year that now is owned by Miss Madison in her room. It turns out that when you have a bunny named Huckle Berry, you need furniture to match...Madison has always been naturally organized, so obviously its not environment, perhaps a throwback to another generation???

Step Four

Move the clothes into the drawers....WOW...who knew that surfaces didn't have to hold clean or dirty clothes! Dh was SO delighted to find he had 4 drawers of his own in the large dresser and a place to store his holy hunting clothes in the chest on chest bottom drawers. With a few hangers in hand, that which didn't fold to be put away was hung up and suddenly my former storage place we happened to sleep because a tranquil, beautiful room!!!!

Who knew!!!!

Step Five....details to come....

Creating a romantic evening for date night today...dessert and a movie at home....candlelight, clean room, and well, prolly one of those drawers of lacy items won't be in its drawer tonight! After all, marriage should be an intentionally wonderful thing, and I am intent upon surprising my handsome husband tonight! We have candles that have never been lite from years of buying what looks nice, but has no use except for special dinners at Christmas and Easter...that's a new rule...no longer will we wait to celebrate, experience, or create special times for our own family as well as our extended families....life is too precious and if you're not careful you wake up and your baby turned 13 or 30 without you stopping to enjoy them. I have promised myself to be more intentional about not wasting God's blessings of family!!!

hugs!!!!

P.S. And I am going on a hot date with my three little men from down the street to the water park this morning at Wilson Park.....because some days you just gotta enjoy life! While there is definately work to be accomplished in business today, an hour or two of refreshed times will definately help this tired Mom re energize for the tasks later!

P.S.S. The Master bdr furniture is one part antique given to me and 4 parts pieces that match found on ebay in Tallahassee FL for $300.00 total, stored by my cousin for a year, then hauled home in a pickup. The black bedroom set was a $75 find in a yard sale refinished with paint later....the comforter a JCP outlet find for $19.99, the curtains for $1 yard tea stained black and white to black and ivory fabric at Walmart ($12) The tassells and pillows made from scraps. to make the room mine, the rabbit a present from my 13 year old daughter for Mother's day. The bed itself and its mattresses, a free one new from Sams given by a couple who's mom didn't come to live with them, the wood part of the bed, part of a $15 find. God provides!

The Balancing Act

2009-07-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

The balancing act as child of God, wife, mother, stepmother, business owner, church member....wow, it truly gets overwhelming sometimes. So many different ways to live this life and so many people living it differently. I am pretty darn rule bound by my own rules sometimes......I am loyal to things, thoughts and people at times that perhaps I should reconsider the reason I choose them....are they familiar, are they right for my "today" life?, are they honoring of my desire to protect my head and heart from unncessary pain?
How many times do we do what we do simply because its the way it has always been done? How many times do we unintentionally block or leave others behind because we simply didn't consider someone else's perspective?
My family loves me, not because I am the best wife, mother, friend, or whatever to them, mainly they love me because I love them. Imperfectly, I keep house. Imperfectly I handle fear. Imperfectly I forget schedules, but they can count on one thing. I love them no matter what they do, say, think, or have done.....often imperfectly, but I love them as they are....even when they don't act lovingly towards me some days....because we all have those days don't we? God loves us the same way!
This afternoon, I am excited and celebrating. A hard goal was met, a victory to be celebrated, and today I will take time to celebrate it! Hard work, chores, have-to's also need to be balanced with celebratory moments, after all, they are what make the rest worthwhile!
God is good and He is the ONLY one worthy to be praised! I am praising God today for helping me complete a project I thought was impossible to complete, yet its done now and it feels GREAT!

Wednesday

2009-07-15T10:27:00.000-05:00

This morning is not going exactly as planned. I had a delightful appointment at 9:30 a.m. with an author friend of mine, but life is life, and unfortunately that was postphoned until 1:30 p.m. today. Meanwhile I am thankful for a very late hour and into the night error correction session on a website that a client of mine needed completed. I am thankful for a DH who not only assists in such times, but for absolutely no other reason than he hates to see me struggle, pitches in and becomes the ultimate tandem team player. We get somewhere together, and the truth is, this morning one of two website launch issues is completed already at 9:15 a.m.
I feel like God is stretching me to a maximum shape right now.....and some days I simply want to say "I'll take a pass, turns out I'm not built for this, can I go home and pretend I didn't quit?" but then God gently whispers "You were made for such a time as this" sounds pretty MGM doesn't it....but God has done so many miracles in the past few months that I dare not take His nudgings lightly. God's ways are not our own, many directions I thought we were going, were simply exits to a new highway....going to roads I never expected to travel, or even know where the destinations are.
My boundaries are having to change by the hour lately. It seems every human wants to control something....and many of what they want to control is ME. God has been very specific with me on who to say "no thank you" to and whom to let go when they say "or else". Sometimes it breaks my heart to realize someone who was close, is no longer. Other times I am amazed at how God is weaving His tapestry and whom He has brought into our lives and who has partnered with us to reach more families.
Those of us who are pleasers, have to truly continually work on remembering the only opinion that counts is God's. The priorities must be continually focused on: God first, Family Second, Everything else after that! For weeks we've had a skewed focus after God, because sometimes surges have to happen when the children are away on visitation, but its time to settle back down into what works for our family, ministry, and work, and with God's directives first.
This morning as I code the 24th shopping cart item for a client, I am simply ready for normacy again, and God so provided the help,....and I am thankful for a dishwasher churning, a clothes washer running, children playing in the background, a roast in the crock pot...but most of all I am thankful for a God who sees us through all parts of our lives, perceived crisises and real.

God is God and we are not!

Tuesday at home...

2009-07-14T18:53:00.000-05:00

I am so glad to be home today. We had B2G at my home again and I cannot share with you how exciting it is to see tween aged girls (10-13) learn about how much God loves them, and then to watch them share that love with each other and the world. It is simply a great experience each week!

Yesterday I was in Canton, Georgia, just outside Atlanta. I loved going to Yawn's Bookstore there and worked with Nadine and Farris Yawn, who are clients of mine. They own the most wonderful hometown bookstore and publishing house. Madison and I met with them, then we went on to Atlanta to experience a Girl's Evening out. Where do girls go in Atlanta?Why the American Girl Store of course! Madison had spent her birthday in Arkansas, so we celebrated late together as Mom and daughter. Such a good time! We both squealed with delight at all the American Girl doll things we saw...some moments live in your mind forever, I know that night in Atlanta will!

Today my newest site build went live. http://www.davidcooper.com/ While I am not usually the site builder ( I am the market content writer and detailer), in this case it was my delight to work with David Cooper himself. It is a transition site as we prepare an even more extensive addition to his web destination site, but I am glad to be a part of these first steps and look forward to seeing it all come to life! David is the host of Hopes, Goals, and Dreams iTV and shares my vision of restoring families and creating excellent products for individuals, homes, and families through internet television!

I will be rejoining David Cooper in Dallas later next week, but for now, I've put on my wife, mom, and business owner cap at home. Cookies are baked, dinner is made, and I am loving on my family and thankful for this life I live. The children are home until July 22-23, after they are gone to their dads, I will work long days again for 2 weeks filming HDGiTV specials in Dallas. Filming my own very first DVD specials and teaches last week was pretty exciting and so surprising, I never thought "I'd" be the one on the show, I am the writer for others and the talent scout somedays, but always the fan! The children will be gone to see their grandparents for the end of summer last visit with their natural dad in another state.

Camille, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you and Jarod, it made my Saturday! Rachel Anne, I can't wait to see you again next week, can you believe it?! I hope I can find Miss Becky this week, I may have to reintroduce myself! Karent Rabbitt (the author) is making my day tomorrow morning by working with me on a project of hers, how fun!

hugs!

Meeting Camille IRL...

2009-07-11T19:12:00.000-05:00

Today I had the pleasure of meeting IRL (in real life) Camille and her husband Jerod, one of Rachel Anne Ridge's Company Girls in Brentwood, TN! What a blessing to be in Brentwood and meet Camille and her family for Starbucks (see I told you it wasn't a good thing to learn how to order there!) Camille's three children and husband are as precious as she is and I am so tickled she let me know how to contact her! I ordered a blueberry scone, which was made simply more delicious by the delightful sharing of time with Camille and her family ( I can't wait to know you all better Camille!!!)

Home tonight after rushing home to be a part of a women's dinner at a local church and I am simply in a thoughtful place. God so spoke this afternoon as I drove home, and to be truthful, I didn't like one bit what the whispering was about today...but I will obey and I will follow Him. It simply saddens me when things turn out so different than where I thought....but I will obey and I know from experience, the sooner one obeys a directive the better life will be.

Home was a welcoming place, my teenaged son was waiting with his best friend for Mom to arrive and I had to simply dask out to be a part of a women's dinner program, back home an hour and a half later, I am simply thankful for a quiet rest of the evening.

B2G (Becoming God's Girl) has been on my mind all week. Two of my children this week asked if they could have my bibles to take home. I was glad to share them, and shocked when they shared they didn't own one in their home....we take so much for granted with those who live in our neighborhood, we assume so many children know God's love, when in today's culture they may not even know their own father at home...much less our Heavenly father....words are so easily said, but what have you done today to show other's Jesus love? I know for me personally, I have been so focused lately on doing right things for what I thought were right reasons and then like a brick wall, it hit me today, I was putting my faith in things and people, not God. I have so many things to do for B2G for the girls involved and that will indeed become a larger portion of what I spend my time on in the next few weeks.

Thwap....sometimes it takes a 2 x 4 to the heart and head for God to get my attention fully....God's short bus girl I tell you, but at least I'm on God's bus.

It is so easy to get off track, when our peace leaves us it is our clue. The Holy Spirit leads us in peace, never anxiety nor frustration. It is not his path...for God's path is peace. Forgive me Father for believing more in man than in You.

Tonight I am thankful for:

1. A God who truly loves me, provides for me, forgives me and allows me to be imperfect without anger, without ignoring my request for forgiveness or making His silence"teaching me a lesson" but immediately welcomes me back when I ask to be forgiven and recognize my errs....no matter how many times the lesson takes.

2. A husband who has shown me protection as well as treating me as precious......stepfatherhood is never a simple path, yet my Dh each day chooses to love me and my children as his own....and works so very hard to be the best person he can be for God, for our family, and for others, even when the going gets tough!

3. For a daughter who tells the truth even if its not what is wanted to be heard...yet lovingly said.

4. For countless thousands of way God allows me to learn, even when I am hard headed.

God is God and I am not, and tonight I am so aware of how true that statement is!

hugs!

Company Girl Coffee 7.10.09

2009-07-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,
I am on the road again, hence the note on the door to help yourself. Today I am in Brentwood in the HGDiTV studios again. Today we're working with Allison Worthington Mrs. Fussypants of Mrs. Fussypants.com Alli is the mom of five, stepmom of one, and is the owner of BlissfullyDomestic.com and Mrs.Fussypants.com We're cooking up programming for HGDiTV to continue Blissfully Domestic's stellar work on finding good things for women. How fun to have Alli's character Mrs. Fussypants on the sets, she's SO funny!
My daughter is with me today, while my son is at football practice and college man is home working. Dh joins me tonight in Brentwood and we work on taping for our ministry tomorrow morning then head home.
God has been whispering loudly again to me, when I get tired, when I get overwhelmed to "just do the next thing" and then rely on Him. Its working but I still get so overwhelmed managing family, home, work, and life.
The children are home for 2 weeks then return for 2 more weeks with their natural dad and stepmom in another state. Its been a new time for us as a blended family, to grow as their natural father's new family has expanded with his marriage and they suddenly have a scad of new aunts, uncles, and a new set of step grandparents. I am thankful they are accepted....but even as much as I believe there is plenty of love for all of us, its hard to find myself being compared and measured by complete strangers to me (the new family and friends) and usually not in the kindest of ways. Of course, they are thrilled with the new groom (I was too, why would I have married him if I hadn't of been) But our marriage ended long ago. I know its just human nature, but my gosh, I have been mom their whole life, I am willing to accept their stepmom as part of their life, but do people have to always try to make it a competition. We are so different (I'm 44, she's 28, I own my own business, she is a paramedic I have reared 4 children, these are her first stepchildren) and she has value for their life as I do. I want them to without guilt love and spend time with us all. I want to uphold and honor their father and his wife as I would hope he would honor and uphold Les.
My heart is still very sad for my friend whose husband ended his life this week in Texas. She and their two children are so shocked as we all were, my heart is even more saddened that I cannot be there for the funeral tomorrow. I will find her next week when I am in Texas though.
God is God and we are not....help others find God through your heart.

Thursday Thankfulness and Ponderings

2009-07-09T10:55:00.000-05:00

Another fresh day, and I am so focused on how much there is to be thankful for. It is still a sad sad time for our friend in another state as she experienced her husband's choice to end his life. How much my heart aches for her and their children and extended family. Once again it teaches me how very precious life is and how masks are often simply that...covers for what is truly happening in one's heart.
Today is a Mom day, and I am so excited to be working at home and enjoying my children. It seems the summer has gone simply away as its almost time for school to start again. It seems I turn around and our children are grown!
My weight loss is still happening. I am now ready to begin exercising too to help tone and change what is definately needing toning! I have for so long avoided working out, I am simply ignorant of what to do!!!
God is God and I am still ever amazed at all He is doing in my life. What a hard, yet joyful time it has been to know I can count on Him each part of the day!

hugs!

Things I am thankful for today:

1. The Father in heaven who thinks I am enough, just as I am, imperfections and all.
2. The ability to forgive and be forgiven of my mistakes and others' mistakes.
3. Waking up healthy, able, and in a country that allows me to think my own thoughts out loud.
4. For friends who notice when I am under water and need loving on.
5. For business alliances who are truly friends as well. (Jenn Fowler, Karen Rabbitt, Thelma Wells Alli Worthington)
6. For opportunities to work with great people, ministeries, and personalities.
7. For Rachel Anne Ridge's Home Sanctuary, for I need all the small steps I can find!
8. For children to love and who love me, for extended family.
9. For learning and the ability to learn new things.
10. For beauty that our Father in heaven has made for us, through us, and with us.

Sad news all around today...

2009-07-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

Somedays I am simply not a very well done person. Today I have been on a pity party, right up to two phone calls. One from a long ago friend who let me know a close friend had just committed suicide in the past few hours, another friend then called who has found out that life is changing and never to return to what she experienced yesterday.
Thankfulness is indeed a state of mind. When we choose to focus on that which is not Godly, that which does not matter in the big picture of God's kingdom, the devil helps eggs us on to allow things and ideas take on value and importance that most likely have NO value in God's kingdom.
I am determined today, to stop, be intentional about my thankfulness and be more aware and merciful to those around me who need God's love shown to them towards them from me. We truly are the Jesus people see.....who else will choose with me today to stop, praise God, and wait for His next whispering....
it matters.....loving others and letting them know they are loved matter, no matter what they are facing, no matter what they have succeeded or failed at....they are worth mattering to you!

I pray tonight that my long time friend found peace tonight in Jesus ' arms. I cannot imagine how hard it was to truly believe that his life was not worth living, he was such a special person....the outward mask was that life was not only going well, but he was on top of the world. How sad for his family, how sad for his mama...how sad for all of us that we couldn't reach him or help him find God's mercy and grace for whatever it was he was facing....

and for my friend who knows this day life will never be the same as yesterday....

I love you....

and God is enough...

and we will love you through this.

Marvelous Monday

2009-07-06T07:01:00.000-05:00

When I lived in Stephens, Arkansas, a tiny town in Southern Arkansas, a dear dear lady, Virginia Turner Smith, had developed singlehandedly an afterschool program for the town's children K-6th. No federal funds, no grant money, just a determined Grandmother who wanted all children to have a special place to learn. The program was called Marvelous Mondays...and it still exists today. The concept was simple, invite children to come afterschool to share cookies and Koolaid, Sing a few songs about growing in God, sharing a story in God's word, and a simple craft to take home. Simple formula, excellent product. In this tiny town of under 600, we served 24-28 children each week, red yellow, black and white, children together gathered in His sight. The way it should be. How was it financed? funded? By folks bringing what they had when we asked and we created crafts and snacks from them. It took planning, but it was a fantastic experience.

When I moved to tiny town, it was my hope to add a summer program to Granny Gin Smith's Marvelous Monday offerings. We chose Tuesdays and made it Terrific Tuesdays at the Library. Terrific it was! 20-50 children came each week for another simple formula experience of reading to them, sharing with them, helping them find books to expand what was introduced that week, and every now and then a special guest horse, snake, or other specialty item. We had a marvelous time at Terrific Tuesdays too.

Now I am playing in a whole new playing field called internet Television broadcasting. I believe, however the formula is much the same for family programming. Invite folks in, share with them your joy in having their presence, share God's word and good products and things, and every now and then invite someone special to visit! Maybe this country girl is simple, but wouldn't you like to come home to Mayberry, or Captain Kangaroo, or Mr. Roger's neighborhood every now and then? Personally, I would still love to live on Walton's Mountain or visit often!

How many of us are frozen in "my house isn't clean enough" or "what would they think about ..." or "I only have simple food to share" Hospitality is about getting past ourselves and getting on with welcoming others into our lives and space....let's reach outside our comfort zone and reach out to others with God's love shall we?

God is God and we are not! He is good!

Friday on Sunday...Company Girl Coffee 7.5.09

2009-07-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

The best part of summer happened this weekend. My husband and I spent a day alone looking forward like kids to Christmas to fetching our two youngest children home from summer visitation! All summer they have been gone to their grandparent's home in another state visiting their natural dad and new stepmom. They had a great time, lots of fishing, family time and gatherings, but I can tell you this...I was ready for them to come home!
It's official!!!! Les, my husband, launched our new business Ministry through Media, which we will work together as my She's So There provides products in training, web content building and social and multi media marketing that his business helps churches and organizations know what level of help they need. If the client needs someone to come in and actually train, do, or facilitate training, then my company will help with the actual installations, redo's or creation of social media components for the online presence or website marketing.
We feel like God has delivered something we've done for years in a new pretty package that we are so excited about doing together. As our friends would tell you, we LOVE working together! Les will not leave his DoD position for quite a while yet, but through creative use of vacation and earned time off, we'll work together several clients a month. I will continue to work with the ministries and authors I work with as we build it together.
Meanwhile, our step and blended family ministry is coming along as well. We made our very first ministry DVD sets this last week and we were so truly blessed by David Cooper at Hopes, Goals, & Dreams iTV Studios to be filmed professionally as we begin this series on A Joyful Place Called Home. I also made a teaching tape for my She's So There LLC business called Viral Networking 101 and First Fixes for Marketing 201. I am so excited to have been able to learn the process...and Mr. Cooper made it soooo easy!
Our college boy has been the joy this summer as he worked, played, and stayed with us. We're so tickled he's living here and returning to college locally. I know it will be a blessing to have him home!
Mr. Cooper introduced me to Lite French Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks this week...I'm not sure that is a good thing, I LOVED them! Can't wait to figure out a home substitute for every morning!
Tell me about your week! I can't wait to catch up!

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2009-07-04T21:30:00.000-05:00

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Visiting Former Places...

2009-06-29T06:58:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that each place and person we leave carries a place in our lives that we hold onto in our minds. This weekend I went to Arkansas to primarily have the opportunity to see our two youngest at a close of camp Rodeo event. It is a long drive there, almost 9 hours, and then we were not sure we'd see them at all. We did see them, and Madison did great in her horse show, I think they've both grown an inch in six week!
As I drove the interstate, the scenery changed from hillsides with rocks showing and hard wood trees to a thick pine forest, so dense one can hardly see through the trees. As we got there the buildings changed from modern city scapes to a scene from Mayberry RFD. Home....where they know your name....home...where you know from which you came.....yes, the song is true in a country town, your history lives forever.
Where I am from you're considered a "new comer" until your family has been there over 60 years. City folk may come from a place with a population over 1000, and there isn't much consideration for fancy ways.

I was thankful this weekend to see my high school teacher Bill Bacon, who is now an auctioneer. I was thankful to hug the neck of my first employer, Jim Stinson, who family owns a jewelry store that is over a hundred years old. I was thankful to be at the "event" of the weekend, Pittman's annual plant sale, where folks lined up outside the fences for the 8 a.m. 1/2 price plant sale. Food never tastes so good as at Miss Virginia's table, my father's wife. We are thankful for Miss Virginia, for after my mother died, she has so made my father's life better as his wife. I was thankful to see my best friend Bobbie, who had just returned from placing 8th in the United States in a Phi Beta Lamba competition in California and we returned her son Hunter.
There is always a desire to bring home some of "home" for me, and this time I did. We bought a French side chair at the auction, though it wasn't purchased during the auction. I found my beloved black and white polka dot luggage too, for $20! Later, in true Sweetie style, I bartered my way into diamond and peridot earrings by trading the local Pawn Trader an ebay logo designed by me in exchange for the pretty earrings. I came home right proud of that swap (as my hometown friends would say)
Driving back, Dh suprised me with a stay at the Marriott in Vicksburg, MS where we simply relaxed for the evening and spoke of our blessed lives. Long ago I set the goal of a some day we'd be able to afford to stay in a Marriott for the night every now and then and have a night away.....Saturday we lived that after seven years....I felt like the Queen Dh tells me I am.....strangely enough, the cost was only $20 more than Motel 8, but the difference in quality was well over the $20 asking difference....and then they gave us a $25 certificate for breakfast on top of that....and double points towards a free night's stay.
This morning I am home again, finally, and thankful to be so. I will be on the road again by Wednesday to Brentwood. There is so much to be thankful for, and this morning I am even thankful for laundry to do and be done!
hugs hugs hugs!

Company Girl Coffee 6.26.2009

2009-06-26T07:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Company Girls!
Yay! Les said we could leave for Arkansas a little after 9:30 a.m. so we can get in a quick coffee this morning. I simply couldn't bear to not see you all! Has your week been wonderful? Did you get even one load of laundry done? You did more than I did then!! :) I was in Brentwood again all week working in the Hopes, Goals, & Dreams internet Television Studio. This week I had the most exciting week, Write to Publish Author of the Year Karen Rabbitt and I spent three entire days together working with her book: Trading Fathers: Embracing God, Forgiving Dad. I wish you could have been there! I was there to witness her very first teaching tape in the studio. I witnessed how God simply took a mechanical studio and suddenly made it a God tool for healing. The teaching God has inspired Karen to share has such power for women who have difficult relationships with their father, or truly any person in their life who has hurt them! Karen and I have our own God story of how we met and I'm going to share it with you next week!

Hunter, my nine year old friend from Arkansas, was still with me this week. He was such a good boy as we had to work several hours at a time in the studio and he simply sat and read a book or played his game. I was so thankful that he was able to do so!

I was with Mrs. Fussypants, herself, Allison Worthington as we she taped her very first live internet television program and we made a tape together. Mrs. Fussypants Presents: Blogging Basics! Who knew that I would EVER be on an internet television teaching? What a fun experience!
On the home front, Madison and Chaser are still in Arkansas, next week they come home! Tonight we are traveling to see Madison in a rodeo in Callion, AR. We will simply drive 7.5 hours down and back after spending the night, then repeat the process next weekend. I am so ready to see both of them, so I am excited about going today! Its been five weeks since they went on visitation, and will return for two more later in the summer, but this mama is ready to see the babes!
My college boy announced to us that he would like to commute from home next year. I am all about that. We have an excellent school here in Alabama that has his same program and I think it would be an excellent choice. (not to mention he takes out the trash without being asked!)

It did this stepmom's heart good to hear him say "I'd like to stay here next year" and know he meant it! Who wouldn't want your child to come home!Yay!!

Les and I have been learning to run the tricaster equipment that makes internet television possible. It is so fun to learn this new medium for teaching. I was so blessed to use the equipment to tape Ruthie Jacobsen in the studio in Nashville, she is the author of God Wants to Hear You Sing, the #1 on Amazon story of how God has used the song by the same name to touch people's lives. Its an amazing book and Miss Ruthie and her husband are precious! I am so excited to get to see them again next week in Nashville!

Sissy came and worked with me yesterday on ministry things. We had the second B2G Meeting (Becoming God's Girl) which is a program for tween aged girls to learn about how God sees them. Sissy even brought Raspberry baked goodies....she's MY kind of friend, shows up with goodies! Thanks Sissy! Of course, she has the second best husband in the world...Brandon....(of COURSE, he hasn't had the time to get as wonderful as Les, so we'll let him be happy with second place for now..lol)

God is still God and I have no idea where this ministry is going to go. but we're loving the journey. Les and I have a dream called A Joyful Place Called Home....restoring families one heart at a time. We thought at first it was about step and blended families only, but God has enlarged the vision to serve ALL families. We didn't know and don't know how it is all to come together, but so far, God has sent amazing women to be a part of a team of twelve ministries that will all have specialty areas to help restore the family emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, and in every other way God has sent. God's then sent the methods and specialist in t.v., radio, print communications, and internet television and they are all saying "how can we help?" How exciting is this??? Who knew that God would choose some silly former school teacher to teach the ministries how to reach the families in a new way through Social Media? I am so excited to be allowed to be apart of God's plan!

It is the best diet I've ever been on! Nothing like working your weight off! I'm down a total of 72 lbs now since January 2009. I can hardly believe it! This week I was so tickled to realize that though I am not thin, I am so much more able to run and play with my pups without being breathless!

Tell me of your world, and those of you with babies and toddlers, pass them here, I just love them! I think the best times in the world involve being with children! God is God and He loves YOU!

xoxo,

And the story continues....

2009-06-24T06:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been thrown in the deep end of a pool without your swimmies? That's the feeling I had this week as I learned skills and worked in groups I haven't spent time in before. How fun to learn new skills! Did you ever want to know just how a blue screen television virtual set worked? Me too! Les came up this weekend and he got to learn how to modulate the Tricaster studio in Brentwood of Hopes, Goals, & Dreams Internet Television Studios. Who knew he could look so good and learn so fast? The equipment is fascinating. Its the same technology that creates CNN and FOX news alternate studios. The entire set is virtual and there are endless options on how to make it look!
Last night Mrs. Fussypants herself came and we put our big toes in the water of how to share community with girlfriends 1:1 a thousand at a time. She has a vision to help find fabulous women bloggers and speakers and share them withe the rest of us! BlissfullyDomestic.com is already known as a launching place for moms and bloggers to find good things! Her team, which I am now privileged to work with as a creative strategist, is so wonderful Katie Howard, managing editor, and Daisy Olsen, pro wordpress expert are simply amazing women! Wow, is Alli a natural in front of the camera! She's so nice in real person, and we had more than a few mistakes, giggles, and so much fun working through the concepts.
This week award winning author Karen Rabbitt has been my guest at the studio as we have created exciting DVD/CDs and trailers to help her get the word out about her book Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad Embracing God. I simply think this is an important book for anyone who has a difficult relationship with their father. Karen, a retired psychotherapist, was sexually and emotionally abused as a child. This is her story, her journey to learn how to forgive, and to allow God to heal the wounds. It is an amazing story and I am so glad God picked her as someone I would get to work with in ministry! She has the most beautiful smile and her voice is like listening to most wonderful soothing friend. See the beautiful jewelry she is wearing, it was simply stunning in person. She and her husband Jerry used to design and make jewelry together, and are Illinois Artisans, a program that recognizes craftspeople as authentic. She was so kind to bring me two pairs of earrings to Tennessee all the way from Illinois! Yay! In this picture you'll see her with Alli Worthington, Mrs. Fussypants before our Tuesday night taping.

See the handsome guy on the left? (Yes, Les is aware I am taking my picture with a fella in Tennessee.) That man on the left is none other than Mr. David Cooper, who is the Host of Hopes, Goals, and Dreams Internet Television Studio. We met long ago (13 years), in a far away time when I lived in Northwest Arkansas. He is America's Income Trainer and he was completely responsible for any success I had in Mary Kay Cosmetics sales. His "Ask Your Way to Success" Soft-sell training methods are widely known (and copied) as he works with individuals, companies, and products all over the world as the trainer of trainers in the world of integrity based business practices. Mr. Cooper is more than that to me personally, when I was a single Mom, when I needed help with sales skills so that I could survive financially and mentally on my own. David Coopers' sales training tapes, his leadership, his methodology meant the world to me. I won two cars from Mary kay under his tutorage (long distance via his cassettes, then later his CD's and several seminars in my area)
Do you know people in your life that simply impress you that they allow God to use them? I have several RAWK stars of Leadership, as Mrs. Fussypants would call them: David Cooper, Michael Hyatt, John Maxwell, Maya Angelou, Dr. Kevin Leman, the late Barbara Jordan, Thelma Wells, Max Lucado, Virginia Turner Smith, Cavett Robert, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale and so many others. Not all my heroes are celebrities either. Many are the small town leaders and people who simply do what God tells them to do and they do it with grace and beauty! All of these leaders are in leadership not so much because they had a "master plan" to be a celebrity or larger than life leader, but because of the work they do to build people, projects, and their prestige despite the challenges and the personal cost of leadership for doing it God's way. These folks focus on what is best for all, how to deliver the message they have been given to others, they build and expand those around them and they celebrate others successes as they develop under their leadership along the way, more thrilled for their students and colleagues success than focused on their own.
Who do you look to for leadership? Of course God provides the absolute best leadership daily in his presence in your life. The Bible is full of stories of leaders who rose, fell, and got up again with His mercy and grace. Has God lead you to dream a dream? Is God whispering to you an idea that seems bigger than you could possible do yourself? I am living the reality of a dream that God planted in my heart 24 years ago when I graduated college and worked with so many broken families in a town far from home. A dream to develop programs and events that would help us all create A Joyful Place Called Home. People and teachings that would help families restore the home, one heart at a time. It is very exciting as I come to realize its not just about families like my own step and blended families. This dream is a God gift to all families and I.cannot.wait to see what our God does next! It has given new meaning to the concept that if God gives you the dream, he provides the means to make it happen. My gosh eight months ago I didn't KNOW these twelve women whom God has brought to help with this dream. I didn't know internet television was possible to this level yet. I didn't know how in the world that these dreams He had shown me would be possible. God is God and I am not and God had the details figured out long before I knew the needs! Do you ever feel entirely responsible for something God has given you to do? The truth is, God has it covered, just relax into His goodness and pray faithfully for your own path to be made straight. Our Father God is a loving God He will never shame you, leave you on the path alone, these lessons I am learning daily as God unfolds this dream into a reality. These last eight months have been the most breathtaking time in my life! God is good and I can't wait to share the rest of the story with you as it unfolds!

God is God and we are not!
Sweetie Berry

Live from Nashville, TN

2009-06-22T23:24:00.000-05:00

This last Saturday I ventured into the Hopes, Goals, and Dreams iTV Network Studio with none other than my friend Allison Worthington, it was a day to not be forgotten! Alli and I met when, no kidding, God said "You're supposed to help her" and after fighting six weeks wondering who the heck this Alli was last fall....I realized she was none other than Mrs. Fussypants of http://www.mrsfussypants.com/. Now God never seems to care that folks are going to think I'm going mad when He tells me to start calling up complete strangers and saying "by the way, "God sent me to help you, but I don't know nothing about cleaning no houses" The good news is Alli Does know something about birthing those babies, for she has a beautiful step daughter and FIVE count them FIVE little boys that are just precious! The way we met is quite different but the truth is, that is just the way its happened, and has continued to happen since November 12 when God first started bothering me about "it is time" in the response to our morning prayers for a ministry to restore families. Funny thing along the way to helping Alli, when the strange woman (that being me) said on Twitter on a DM "Call me, I need to talk to you" in fact the precious woman did! Little did I know that God has sent other members of her sweet sweet staff on Blissfullydomestic.com to her just the same way, so the God stories were old hat by the time I got there.

Alli and I have been working with our husbands on a new project that will launch this fall for women, their families, and communities, meanwhile, like all newbies on a new project, we decided to have a little fun while we learned. The result is a LIVE webcast, Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 7:58 at http://www.davidcooper.com/view/440 and you're all invited! Its sure to be fun with Mrs. Fussypants AND my friend David Coooper involved in Alli's first internet Television broadcast...and who knows you might even see me there too!

hugs hugs hugs!

Protecting Your Heart

2009-06-21T06:47:00.002-05:00

As I grow older (now 44) I realize one of the most important things I share with my daughter and sons is to learn to protect their hearts and minds. We, as a family, are tender hearted people. We tend to love deeply, accept folks as they are, and reach out to others who are hurting. The lesson that has been learned more than once lately is that not everyone is living on the same premise of treating others kindly.
Protecting your heart means not allowing young children to be continually with those who disregard their innocence. Allowing your children to continue with other children who are experiencing such anger that they lash out continually. We have many children in our home, and I have learned that its best for me as Mom to introduce them to our expectations in our home in a more sit down and let's understand what happens here way. I used to not be as formal about it, but when we moved to the city we found we needed to. I call their parents and let them know the same things (talk about scary for my teens at first) But do you know that the very first thing was that the teens and the children seemed to "relax" in our home after that. It was as though the mantle of what to do had been lifted and they were free to be kids again while in our home.
We work hard to make folks welcome. We feed whomever is with us at mealtime, cookies flow abundantly after school. We sit at the table for "first telling" when ever children arrive home from practice, school, or work so that we can listen to their tales of the day. Their friends share with us that way too. Easy questions like "What was the best part of the day?" "What was the hardest part of the day?" keep the conversations light yet meaningful.

Protect your heart....and those who visit you, love on them and let them be safe in your home.

Company Girl Coffee 6.19.2009

2009-06-19T06:06:00.000-05:00

Dearest Company Girls,
I am SO glad to be with you this week. It seems like every Friday I've been somewhere else or where the internet wouldn't work until it was much too late to join you!
The younger children are still out of town with their natural dad, stepmom, and grandparents in another state. Meanwhile I have been working working working on ministry projects while they are out of town. Most of the work has involved being in the town of Brentwood, TN working with a client who works with many clients, so I have been in the dressed up hose and heels outfits almost daily. It has been a walk on a different side of life. Les has joined me as often as possible but it seems we've spent alot of time on the road seperately. Brentwood is 90 or so miles from home, so often I simply stayed in an extended stay inn when we put in 14-18 hour days. I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life, but the work is joyous!

Last weekend Les and I celebrated our seventh anniversary by driving from Alabama to Texas to hear our very own Rachel Anne Ridge share her Clothesline Story with the women of her home church. I cannot adequately express the joy and the absolute happiness it was to be with her during her "debut" as a speaker. She'll never brag on herself girls, but God so has gifted her with an amazing voice with his message. Of course we know that already from Home Sanctuary don't we! It was so fun for me to be with Miss Anne, Rachel's mom, and to meet her children, Tom and Big Tom and her son in law too! Les and I were so pleased and thrilled to have spent time with them, it simply set the stage for our anniversary celebration that night in Dallas and the next day as well. (Our college boy, Les Jr was kind enough to take care of the rabbit, fish, and dogs for us in Alabama)
Dallas is one of my favorite places on the earth. I don't know exactly why, but I think it has that "That Girl" feeling tone that I grew up with on t.v. Its a place of big stores, beautiful scenes, skyscrapers, and art. When I was a small girl, we lived in a tiny community where none of that existed except on "That Girl" which I watched with awe....Marlo Thomas played "That Girl" and it was set in a city scene with chic clothes and great scenes of city life.

One of the "moments" of the weekend was that we went to dinner at the Hotel Indigo. Its the Hotel I visited when I was at CBE. I love it there, the staff is friendly and they remembered me! I could not believe it, they knew my name! It was so fun for them all to come and meet Les and to share with us that evening! We had a romantic quiet dinner alone in the restaurant and the staff made it SO special. Later we went to the Dallas Museum of Art. What made it wonderful is that 22 years ago I would work there as a 2nd job when I was a teacher serving people at the parties there. I loved seeing their fancy outfits, and a car brought up for them to get into with their husbands who were so happy to be with their brides. At the time I was single and divorced, very alone on my own and there was such longing for me to have a life that included a husband who looked lovingly at me. It was a dream come true for us to be there as the guests, and indeed my handsome husband was in fact there with me, and we were then one of the ones that had a car brought up for us to get into. I knew God had given me yet another silly thing that I once upon a time dreamed of. You won't be surprised to know that I did indeed open the moonroof on the Volvo and played a CD too loudly as I squealed as I realized I was indeed living the dream 22 years later....God is good, and that was so unnecessary yet He remembered the dream and gave it to me. We had not planned to be there, it simply became available....a God gift...and it was wonderful.

Sunday morning brought us to my brother and his wife's home. We were so glad to spend time with them. M was so kind as to create a special anniversary breakfast for us and it was delicious. We loved being with them and stayed late, then drove to Texarkana for the night. Monday we picked up a young friend who is visiting us for two weeks and drove home to Alabama. I worked hard all week to get "caught up" and then Thursday we had the first B2G (Becoming God's Girl) Bible study for tweens at my home then I worked the rest of the day. This morning I leave again for TN until next Thursday, but I am thrilled to be working with the Write to Publish Author of the Year award winningKaren Rabbitt, author of Trading Fathers. Karen's writing has so affected me and I cannot begin to tell you what a joy she is to work with! I will also get to work with a few other speakers and presenters who will be driving or flying in to work with a new project. It is going to be an exciting week! I am even going to get to work with Allison Worthington, Mrs. Fussypants again on Saturday and this time she's taking me home for a planning session for the night, I simply love her five boys and adore her mister, My mister so enjoys them too....how fun is that! Y'all God is cooking up some amazing things right now that I will be able to talk more specifically and fully soon...just keep praying for us, I can't begin to explain how, or what, or even why...but God is God and He is so launching some loving and exciting things for all of our families!

You know, since November 12. 2008 this God of ours has so taught me so many things in very bold ways. Its a new growth in my old heart....After almost seven years of "wait,be still, not now, study, listen, surrender" any time I prayed about ministry to step and blended families, God said that morning "It is time". I'd like to tell you that I was estatic, happy, or even obedient....but the truth is I was like "you've got to be kidding me...I thought you said come home, I thought you said "be still"...I did what you asked...NOW you want me to begin WHAT? I really do have to be convinced with a 2 x 4 sometimes...I still think most days that my opinion counts....and we all know up against God Almighty, not only do I not count I shouldn't even bother to have an opinion other than His! I am astonished that He even allows me to be a part of his kingdom, much less work for a King! My ordinary life has become so much more precious, I realize so many things I simply didn't understand why I experienced in my life were the way they were. God however, is surprised by anything in our lives...our messes and our joys....for He truly did know us before we were knit in our mother's wombs. I am daily reminded by His works that He knew and knows all things, that we can indeed be at peace in our Jesus Christ, that worrying is truly a waste, and yet God is God and we are not. So many situations He weaves into our lives allow us to grow and reach out to others, yet we so often think we control anything and everything. We make messes of our opportunities, yet God weaves this too into His beautiful tapestry as he uses even the worst within us to help others when we allow Him to. This new walk God has me on makes me want to pull out my hair some days simply because I would for one moment like to know what happens next....but the truth is, I wouldn't miss this for the world!

I have fresh blueberries and blackberries to go with our coffee, lemonade, or slushes today. Please help yourself or use the blender and make a smoothy! Yogurt's in the fridge on the right. The farmer's market out did themselves

I cannot wait to catch up on all of your lives. I have missed you so, but tonight I have the evening set aside in the hotel to simply read up on your lives!

hugs!

The Definers...

2009-06-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

I am from a world where there were definers that identified people. There were labels like Christians and the lost. The rich and the have nots. The society definers that esteemed some people while dismissing others... Lines between the educated, the uneducated and the wise (not necessarily the same group) The workers and the "come alongs" who never did their fair share in life. The excuse makers and the get it doners. It was a world economy based on values I do not always agree with as an adult, life is not black and white...yet for many of the things that matter it is simply a matter of do they or don't they. Integrity matters.
As an adult my definers are much simpler. In a world that values money, style, prestige, and power. I simply don't. ..er...well maybe style (adored Rachel Anne's living room....such peaceful elegance) My personal measuring stick has much more to do with heart. Is the person treating others kindly? Are they using their influence to build their community and families? Are they quick to forgive and faster to help others when they are without help. Perfection is highly overrated. Fact is we all fail. We all face tragedy. We all are blessed beyond measure, yet most of us fail to recognize just how truly blessed we are each.moment.of.our.lives.
Yesterday is indeed where you were then. What can you affect today? That is truly all that matters isn't it. This moment, this time, this possibility.....and then tomorrow you'll affect that one....yes, some things must be prepared for....heaven is one of them. Submitting to God is a daily moment by moment continuing surrender....and the true challenge is keeping your definer on that reminds you that pleasing God is indeed the only goal worth attaining.

Life is full of realities I'd prefer not to know....but I am glad I know that the reality that matters is God loves me, just as I am, and I love God for who He is...

With abandon

2009-06-17T06:45:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks I have had clear choices that were hard for me personally. God seems to be whispering "follow me and go where I send you" but I have this moment where I simply want to say "but God..." Now somedays its about "but God I have this or that to do" and other days its a prudent "but shouldn't I ...." but then even as I question I realize that anything I have on my "to do " schedule is most likely not as important or obedient as whatever it was that the Lord has placed on my heart to do right then. He's not the sort of God who cares if you've never done anything like this in your life....nor does he particularly care if you've never met the person you're sent to work with! (ask several of the women I am now working with...."er...God made it clear I am to contact you"...now that's like calling up the white trucks and asking to be taken away!)
Obedience. Why is it the only time I have a desire to clean the house is the time when God asks me to do something else? I mean most days it would take wild horses to drag me to the dishwasher and clothes washer, so why when God says "go do this today" do I suddenly have a strong need to stay home and clean? My husband looked at a clean home one morning and said "trying to avoid God again are we?" He knows.....my whole world here knows.....if I am cleaning with abandon then I must be avoiding something at a VERY high level.
Obedience. The Bible says our ways are not His ways. Why do I think that I could possibly know best what God should do with my life? Why do I continue to fight so hard to conceive where he is taking me? Is it not enough to simply "be" with the Lord as he unfurls his plan in my life? Aren't I promised that he has plans for my future, my good, my welfare in his service? What exactly is it I fight? Why exactly is it so hard to give it up to the Lord God Almighty, you know the Sovereign Creator of the Universe....after all for all that He is....I am not.
Obedience. What was the definition of success in God's economy? To reach one heart at a time for his kingdom? To show love to others as he loves me. To have mercy and a kind heart to those who are not kind or merciful to me? To forgive and be forgiven and to draw near to Him. The other definers of success this world shares are simply that....theirs...money, things, power....they are empty promises. In my Lord's kingdom, provision is His, every success is His, everything is joyful in His economy...yes even those who come against me are defeated by his sovereignty and that which is taken from me is repaid. So why do I have to fight to stay on God's plan for my life...why do I struggle to be obedient?
Obedience. We are all called according to His purpose for us. I am ever amazed God calls me at all...and I find it particularly wonderful that He loves me despite me....yet when He whispers in my spirit to do this or that...I am almost always in the "why me Lord" mode. I still half expect that mud hut in Tanzania yet....but every step of this path that God has had me on is indeed a breathtaking experience....and I so want to fulfil whatever purpose this life has for me in His plan for my life.
Obedience. God rewards those who obey. My goodness, how much more filled with joy, peace, laughter and fun has the last few months been? How many more times have I spent my entire energy on a day God ordained then looked up at bedtime to say "thank you so much Lord...I wouldn't have missed THAT for the world" and mean it? How amazing have our needs been met. How miraculous have the connections and "just happen to be" situations by orchestrated by our Lord as His works are worked. There has been warfare, but as we were expecting it, it was overcome easily by calling the spades exactly what they were....attempts to confuse or create a struggle. As we faced each situation with prayer, supplication and time in the Word and with God....it has been amazing how strife left our home. Struggle left our usually stressed bank accounts. Its not as though we are ahead, but each need was met as it came up without compromise or struggle, God simply provided for His people with His methods....none of which we could have forseen.
This walk to help others create A Joyful Place Called Home is an amazing experience. God is gathering the teachers, providing the situations to help them grow their teaching and audiences. I have never experienced anything quite like this in my life....I don't know where the Lord is going with this silly step mom from Alabama...but I am so thankful He's letting me ride shotgun with Him.....I can't imagine a better driver....and the ride is simply breathtaking!

God is God and we are not!

Father God,
Help me to love you with abandon....help me obey your commands without question....help me to have faith that your plans are complete without my input or my approval....help me to obey you!
In Jesus name,
Amen

Home Again Home Again

2009-06-16T07:14:00.000-05:00

Late Monday evening the sun began to go down and little did we know that the storm was blowing up. Fifteen minutes from home our son called and told us to "get off the road" my gosh was he right! In less than ten minutes there was hail and winds that literally moved filled trashcans, hoses from the gas station we were seeking shelter in blew horizontally from the pumps, and scary things began to happen.
A full thirty minutes of lightening, hail, winds, horizontal rain and ice came through and it was impressive as we sat in the car deciding where would be safer....outside where things were blowing past like in the Wizard of Oz, or in the car, which we knew wasn't a good choice. However, there were no ditches to be in, the building was almost total glass, so the car at that moment seemed best.
Prayer seemed best, so pray we did, and God indeed kept us safe in the storm.

Arriving home much later, the storm left its path through our neighborhood. Trees down, branches everywhere, trashcans scattered like toys left out. Our umbrella from the deck blow to who knows where....a cedar tree that was 100 ft tall, now on the fence....our dogs safely indoors with son, but their yard obliterated.

God is God and we are not....and I am so very thankful for a home to come home to!

A great day was had by all...

2009-06-14T20:28:00.000-05:00

Our anniversary morning we woke up at my oldest brother's home in Texas. We had the opportunity to stay downtown Dallas, but we so rarely get to visit either of my brother's we passed to stay with them and get in a quick visit. My sister in law M was so kind to prepare a special anniversary breakfast for us! The fresh strawberries were so sweet you'd of thought she put sugar on them! Yum!

After bumming around and visiting a while, M took me to the new Bethany Road open mall after the morning. We walked around and enjoyed looking at the high dollar stores and I loved trying on a dress or two. It was so exciting to be in the "regular" sizes, not plus anymore....I was so tickled at the level of "precious" these stores had...Swoozies, a precious store of personalizable things.....Charlies' THE mecca of purses, go withs, and necessary cuteness....then there was Black/White store, with its elegant pretty clothes.....a girl could simply get lost in the beauty of all that is there...and we didn't even go into so many of the stores....

Later, after hanging out with M and B for a while, we decided it was time to ramble. My dear husband knows how to treat a anniversary bride...he took me to get a special hair appointment...and Ms Tina did herself proud....nothing makes the world look better than fresh hair and a new do....and he bought me the products she suggested too, so I could redo it at home!

On the highway again we drove on to McKinney for dinner then on to Texarkana, Arkansas to spend the night. We had several friends offer for us to come to dinner, but truthfully, we simply need time to enjoy a quiet evening, so that is exactly what we are doing! We have so much to be thankful for and we wanted to spend some quiet time tonight simply being appreciative of all that God has blessed us with!

Tomorrow morning we will pick up a young friend for two weeks. Our younger children are still at their natural dad's for another 3 weeks, but we're borrowing a friend's son for two weeks while she competes at a national college competition, so we'll have fun seeing young H tomorrow and enjoying the ride home with him. Life hopefully will be slowing down next week as we have our very first B2G (Becoming God's Girl) summer Bible study meeting on Thursday and continue working on the work God has before us for His ministry to restore families one heart at a time!

God is good, I am blessed, and there has never been a happier bride on her seventh anniversary!

Thank you Dh for making it a truly wonderful day!

Happy Annivesary!

2009-06-14T07:46:00.000-05:00

Seven years ago today was the last day my entire family gathered for a celebration. It wasn't exactly planned to be that way, but in retrospect, it indeed was our last gathering as a family together on earth. You see, my mother had not been well that year, and my Grandfather's sister was still with us, the matriarch of our Geddie side of the family. The event was a quiet family wedding, one that perhaps many of the guests felt should not be happening at all, particularly sixteen weeks after we met, with four children involved, a cross two states romance, and with the bride's track record.

You see seven years ago, I woke up to a day full of promise for me, a day of gathering flowers from friend's yards so that we would have flowers from each of them for our wedding day.(An old Southern tradition, followed by each of them giving us a cutting to continue the tradition) A day of gathering with other friends for lunch after going to buy the marriage license together to enjoy moments together, a day of scurrying here and there because this day seven years ago, I married the love of my life and miraculously, he married me....how fortunate can a girl be?

The pictures are hilarious....two extremely estatic people and a host of "maybe this isn't such a good idea" faced family members. You see, he had come out of no where sixteen weeks before and as some would say "she had to go a state a way to find a husband" code for she might not be the best choice. ...a single mom with two children....well, not every mother in law's dream for a new daughter in law. Who knew it would be the last set of pictures with my 15 year old nephew, Father in law, mother, and great aunt with us? God would have them in heaven before two years was out. Who knew that it would indeed be the year before life changed in our family in ways we couldn't forsee. Who knew that this time of extreme happiness for Les and I would be only the beginning of a life together we could in no way know was coming....the delicate balancing of becoming one family with children from two.

Our wedding day was held in the Dietrich Powell historic civil war home in Camden, Arkansas. Our neighbor, Dr. Fred Dietrich, was kind enough to allow us to be married in it, the first wedding there in over fifty years, walking down steps that brides walked down to meet their grooms for over 150 years. Our minister, who was not allowed to marry us for it was a remarriage, but attended to show his support of a relationship he truly believed was God ordained as we did. (in a town where such a marriage was highly controversial) Brian Smith, our minister, was doing his first wedding ceremony ever, and we all loved him for it. My best friends drove from Fayetteville and Dallas to be with me, girlfriends and their children came to support me in this adventure called marrying Les. One of my favorite stories was when one of my girlfriends said very seriously "I think you are the bravest person I know to risk loving again after what has happened in your life" Les's children had only met me three times when I became their step mom, at 12 and 16. We had primary custody, so it meant they had a new teacher who was also their step mom at home....a woman who moved them from the city to a tiny country school so far from the world they knew. My children, then 5 and 8, had a new step dad who would come to Arkansas to live with them....who would come home every night and be glad to see them....huge life changing differences....and many more to come...

Who knew seven years ago that God would so gift me with such a man as Les. The most integrity based Christian I have ever known. A man so gentle and loving that my very prevalent heart wounds were kindly probed and He led me to allow God to complete the healing work in my heart and to fully trust again. I had simply told my friends and family 8 weeks before meeting Les that "I was perfectly happy alone and would NEVER consider remarriage" and it was as though it sealed my fate. Not only did he arrive in my life, he swept my heart away entirely away with his arrival. I don't know what that boy did...but whatever he did that God smote him with me, I am eternally thankful for!

Anyone who has ever joined two families and extended families will tell you, you step lightly and you forgive freely....but Les has done more than that. He has become the tie that binds all of our families. As a step child himself, he knew that choosing the path of peace was more than simply important, it was vital for our children, our families, and our family.

Seven years later, the fairy tale continues...I still squeal when he walks in the door unexpectely. I still adore him . I still thank God each morning and night for sending such a man into my life..and I wouldn't trade the best bird dog in the county for him either....

God is good and I am so happy to say today is our seventh anniversary, I cannot wait to have more! God is indeed a God of restoration and my life is full of God's promises fulfilled...one of those promises was to give me you dear husband! I thank God daily for you too!

Happy Anniversary my love!
xoxo
Sweetie

And then God spoke...

2009-06-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

Through Rachel Anne Ridge's voice....oh my Company Girl friends, you missed the most delightful luncheon today at Rachel's home church in Texas. I simply cannot share adequately how God so used Rachel today to touch hearts in a lovely ladies luncheon. I think it must be a rule, you have to have a beautiful heart (and we won't mention the cute clothes and hair) to go to this church....y'all, these ladies were so sweet and precious and I just was so privileged to be at Rachel's table, sitting next to Miss Anne, Rachel's mom, and her daughter and sister in law and precious Ann. I also got to hear another one of Rachel's daughter's lead the worship in song and play! Afterward the luncheon Les joined us and we had the BEST time with Rachel at a Panera Bread Company and then.....tah dah...Rachel let us come to her fabulous barn house and hang out with her family....talk about feeling privileged...we were so tickled and so pleased to get to share with them the vision God is growing into focus the past few weeks! (and no, Flash did not come out to let us adore him too!) Eventually my dear Les had mercy on Rachel Anne and managed to get us reloaded back in the Volvo and headed us into Dallas....

Rachel's Clothesline stories were so heart full, God's voice through her was so very real and full of His truths. She made speaking and teaching in front of a crowd look as easy as slicing cake! The boxed chicken salad on croissant lunches with the most luscious brownies were so delightful. The decorations were precious (minature clotheslines on each table with paper doll sized clothes hanging on them....ladies! you simply out did yourself with the doorprizes and the games! I even won a beach towel (it may be the ONLY clean towel in the house by the time we return to Alabama!)Rachel, it was so WORTH the fourteen hour drive to see you in person and I cannot wait to hear you again!

God is so God and I am so very very grateful He has gifted me with your friendship!

much love,

P.S. Katherine the only thing missing about this perfect day was YOU and the rest of our Company Girls!

61 lbs later...January to June 2009

2009-06-11T11:38:00.000-05:00

This January, I decided to stop choosing to not face that I needed to deal with some past hurts and pains that were definately showing up in my eating patterns. Divorce has a way of doing that...for those of us who are Southern enough...we celebrate, grieve, surprize and entertain with food as the chosen method of delivery...in my case, the delivery truck was stopping too often and with too much sugar for fuel. I simply stopped eating anything that wouldn't last more than 3 days on a counter or in the fridge. No calorie counting, no rules...simply choose good foods that are really worth eating, stop putting junk in my mouth that isn't good for me, and choose when and if that cheesecake or chocolate kiss is worth the while (and they STILL are worth my while)...living in boundaries means if it hurts, you don't feed the hurt...you heal the pain or you take it to the Healer...Jesus Christ....and I so appreciate many women who have helped me see that I am worth being the best me I can be....Karen Rabbitt (Trading Father's author) Jennie P Martin (Another at the Pool's Author)....Thelma Wells (Don't Give In God Wants YOU to win! author) and my close friends at home too: Sherry, Trista, Bobbie, Stephanie, Brandon, Angela, Becky, Amy Jo, David, Phyllis, and many many others who have cheered me on.....especially my daughter Madison and my husband Les. While I don't have all the answers....I know the first one is accepting that God is God and we are not!

Isn't this fun?! 1/2 down 1/2 to go!

Joyfully!

Thursday...

2009-06-11T05:59:00.000-05:00

My mornings are perhaps the sweetest part of my day. After rolling out of bed and hoping my feet find the floor, I somewhat stagger at 4:45 or so to my office by the kitchen so that I can spend time alone with God. The setting is quiet, serene, with 2 walls of windows that allow me to watch a cardinal or hummingbird dance at my window, or watch our fluffs and the lab puppy playing in the yard....flowers blooming, garden growing....when the weather permits I am barefoot walking outside and then settle on our deck to enjoy the time with our Father. My brain works in such a way that I have to move to be still in my mind...so God walks with me....Today that happens to be in black with ivory polka dot pajamas Les found...so you know the girl started the day off happy....barefoot in our back yard walking and listening to God.
I seem to keep wanting God to open a planner and simply copy me His planner pages. I do not think myself order bound (my home proves that is a reality) yet I find that the longer this new normal goes on, I'd really prefer not to know most days. If I did know what God was sending next or had in mind I'd probably completely be a mess. (now there's a point to ponder...how much of a mess do you have to be to COMPLETELY be a mess, I may have a new standard for society on that one)
How in the world does a step mom from Alabama come out of no where to suddenly have a business helping others solve problems and expand their business. A portfolio of clients, ongoing strategies with successful authors, businesses, and publishing...and do it in 18 months, most of it in 7...and have the situations God has currently put us in....I assure you it is God, for this silly girl couldn't orchestrate a kazoo band much less this beautiful symphony of women, events, and publishing, not to mention filming that God is indeed directing. Yet God has allowed me to have precisely the skills that I needed for the last two decades to make specific differences in the lives He puts me in front of, none of them duplicating what the last one needed, yet always exactly something that I happened to have lived through, learned, or possess the ability to help with.

I simply had a God given dream.....to restore families....one heart at a time....and to give families, churches, and communities the tools to begin the restoration....and God has so given that dream wings...amazing women, ministeries, and businesses are coming together to produce this dream that God gave me to levels that I could not have even imagined.
But let me be clear.....the cost and the continual rising price is that God expects submission to His ways and obedience to His word. Submission to let go of my own plans, to let go of "in charge", to let go of directional concepts that are not truly tested to be "of him". There have been decoys, people have been sifted. I have been stretched beyond recognition of who I thought I was.....yet there is an exuberance of joy in doing the Father's work and seeing the magnificience of His ways and how hearts and lives are indeed changed...
No one gets a free pass from laundry and cooking either....our families need order, God first, Husband second, Self third, the children next and then down past that must be anything else God has us to do. God is indeed a God of order and He will not honor anything less than His methods. The blessings? Oh yes, He is knocking my socks off......making things happen just as I need them to, helping me understand things I could have never figured out on my own, had me in a 25 year training program to prepare me for experiences I now see so clearly why they had to be as they were....most of them didn't make sense at all at the time....
Meanwhile....the tithes continue....the bills are paid just.in.time. The necessary next person or team member arrives JUST as we need that position or skill to do so....God is the Master weaver and each thread of ours matters.....let Him weave you....if He can do what he's doing with my one pitiful mess of a thread....I know what he can do with you! So much of what I do is simply helping others, and I can think of no greater joy than seeing them succeed with their goals of helping others!

God is God....and He is enough! Surrender to His path for you!

There she goes...

2009-06-10T05:27:00.000-05:00

Monday night we were minding our business perfectly well driving home from taking the Uhaul truck and trailer I had returned for our friend and we drove past the Honda dealership. Its not unusual, car fever runs in my family. My father has a warehouse full of British racing cars from the 1940's at home. When I grew up, we had Model A's and Model T's and an old Porsche for him to work on and destress with. Dad was one of two doctors in a small small town, and he was "on" 24/7 in a day when there were no cell phones, which meant you were free as long as you could reach the phone, which rang incessantlly 24/7. When you are one of two doctors on call, you do it all, surgury, babies, pronounce patients dead....its a true relational experience in a small town. He literally delivered two and three generations of children in a family in over 4o years in medicine. My love of people comes from seeing my parents and grandparents give so much to our town growing up.

Meanwhile the Honda dealership had a pretty. A Volvo S60 that had the quinessential component....a sunroof. To this Southern girl, there are many milestones of "growing up and making it" that have been long defined in my life. The first one was to own my own Kitchenaid mixer. I squealed with delight when I was given ne in barter for work done. It was the first definition of "making it" for me ...affording a Kitchenaid for my bread baking, cookie blending and Sausage grinding experiences. Then came the first family vacation to Tennessee last year...oh.my.gosh....we actually afforded 3 whole days in a fun place without meetings or responsibilities! But yesterday, the dealership didn't play fair....You see I LOVE my Jeep Jeep, but this silver baby gets 28 mpg, is the safest car on the road and has.the.sunroof.

What to do.

I'm not about taking on debt, and this had been a 33K car. My Jeep AND my Honda civic together might make a little less than a third of that, which is about what they were thinking.....we needed me in a safe car for a now 90 mile commute at least once a week, one that would get good mileage, and one that would comfortably make the 12 hour commutes occasionally to Dallas and 90 mile each way commutes over the next few years. With very little thinking and one overnight pondering. We decided to offer the deal. Two for one. We had two cars only because I refused to sell the Honda when we bought the Jeep, it gets 35 mpg and its so many miles it just didn't matter financially....but to my surprise, Honda of Decatur said YES!

So last night, despite all odds, I drove home a new to me Volvo S60 with everything on it but AWD. It has fewer miles on it than anything I've driven in a long time and it has an ivory leather interior, can you imagine? This girl is going to have to figure out how to be the woman that owns this elegant piece of work. (and prolly avoid the mud holes I used to love splashing through!)

You'd think a girl would be simply thrilled would you not? But this girl, this morning, wonders who it is she's transitioning into being....For many reasons, the Volvo is the smarter choice....but my heart lives in that jeep....and I suppose I am the only girl in the South who shed tears over trading in a red Jeep Jeep....but the truth is, some days you do have to grow up and do what is best for all, not just best for some.... As happy as I am to reach another milestone in my "I am going to achieve this in life" moment...there is a part of me that will never forget a Christmas in a Red Jeep and snow on the mountain with Les....it was a moment in time of laughter and living life that I will never forget.....and the story continues....God is good and for the first time in Les's life he has to worry about his bride hanging out of the top of her car full of joy for life ....."sit down....I tell you Sweetie Marie Berry...you will NOT hang out of the roof of this car when I am driving"but girls, we all know that sunroofs are for sitting on and Sweet Potatoe Queen Mums ALWAYS wave to the crowd...even if her cheering crowds live only in her mind.....

Uhauls, diners, and God as artist...

2009-06-09T05:34:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, my life rather lives like a fiction book right now. Yesterday a friend needed to move his wrecked truck from the yard that was storing it to his state and back to Tennessee. It was one of those days when you wake up at 5:30 a.m. scurry around to make sure nothing will be dangerous for him walk through in the kitchen, and try to survive the fact the house hasn't been attended to in weeks.
My mother's family is a long line of story tellers. My Grandfather Geddie had almost digital recall of facts and names through his nineties. I grew up in a town where you were a "newcomer" until your family had beeun in town for over 60 years....so the stories linger and lasted long past the day you created a chapter. In a small town folks know you by your reputation and integrity the rest of your life. I kinda think it keeps it easier, you simply won't go some places because you know that you know you don't want to sully your reputation....it keeps one from making foolish decisions.
After having coffee and visiting with our college boy for a while, the two of us went to pick up a uhaul truck and 14 foot trailer to haul the truck home. Uhaul is not my favorite place....my last experience a year ago left me with my husband's new Toyota truck attached by a chain only to a 14 foot enclosed trailor by a chain after landing it when the ball unattached at 60 mph on the move here...when Les was still in Kuwait....it was an adventure I still have nightmares about.
to be continued....

Home again

2009-06-07T13:39:00.000-05:00

I left for Nashville, TN last Wednesday with the intention of being home Friday night, but God has another plan. This whole walk with trusting God means that no longer is my life my own, and I have to be ready at any time to go and do what He sends me to do. My flesh burns to have some control, but I am ever realizing that the only control I may ever have again is to learn to let go and truly allow God to be God and realize it will be for my good.
Our humanness desires to know what to expect. Some of us will even choose the familiar over God's plan for us. I have worked for years with families that will choose the same routines simply because they are familiar whether or not they work. In our own step family, we so had to learn to recognize and halt the "rules" of family life that we had brought to the table. Traditions are important to families, but in the step family, it is also equally important to honor what is, not what could have been or what isn't.

My two younger children are with their natural father and step mom in another state. They need them in their life. They are as deeply in love with our children as we are. We may totally disagree on most things, but we are solid on the fact we want what is best for our children and for them to have the things they most need.

I am continually amazed at how God has orchestrated even the bleakest parts of my life into something useful. So many years of not understanding the value of this or that experience now suddenly makes so much sense in the world I am facing. A perfect preparation to be in the position of learning a new playing field. A smattering of life experiences that allow me some conceptual understanding of the task God has set before me.....education, two failed marriages, successful sales and training experiences, facilitation experiences, experiences in hosting and planning big and small events, back website experience and detailing aesthetic experiences, creating and dissolving, moving and bartering....God has so richly prepared me for what is now before me, yet I know each step is only a preparation for the solid vertical learning he is now teaching me.

The lesson continues to be trust and obedience. The things happening in my life do not make sense in my academic head, yet they are happening. My psyche wants to understand, but in the realm of the supernatural, its about submission, obedience, and praise, and not in that order. Issues lie before me that I cannot imagine how we'll surmount and yet God is God and suddenly they are moved.

Its an amazing journey and I pray that God allow me to finish the course with Him in obedience...I so want to see the end of this race to a new land....and not be left in the wilderness because of disobedience. This dream He gave me is bigger than I could have understood, yet God is a big God....and I am so humbled to see His hand at work so near and in my heart....

Please Lord, help me learn to be sensitive to your whisperings, and praising of your name always!

God is God and He is enough!

Just As I Am...

2009-06-04T05:53:00.000-05:00

There is a line in the movie Bridgette Jone's Diaries where friends salute a friend and say "To Bridgette Jones, Just as you are" and they celebrate her the way she is. She has messed up regularly, she has fed them horrible soup, has been silly to the ninth degree, but the fact is, she is still loved by her friends.....just as she is.

God is that way in my life. I am silly, I mess up regularly, I am less than He made me and know it....but God's love...God's acceptance of me....is not based on perfection, but His choice to have created me and love me just as I am, even before I loved him. One of my personal beliefs is that God calls us to love others, as they are, not as we wish they would be. The concept is completely opposite of what the world teaches....to risk loving that which is imperfect, to accept imperfections, to love despite the imperfections we see, experience, or feel. However I am humbled each and every day I remember quite clearly as I look into the mirror that God indeed, loves me despite me.

Yesterday was a very surreal day. A business meeting that happened because God arranged it in March despite all odds....He gave me a new role in the lives of others that I never saw coming, nor knew it could happen, yet God knew and has prepared me for years for it and it is so my heart's desire to work for Him. I gathered with friends in Brentwood Tennessee for a dinner that can only be described as fantastic...the food, the fellowship, the fun, we laughed and laughed and laughed together.....later caught in a rainstorm as 3 girlfriends and I were picking up girlified necessities at Kroger of all places...you know the stuff....nail polish, removers, cutesey things, makeup...fun fun fun night at the hotel....despite me. Later emails with one of my most favorite people Thelma Wells and I am privileged to be working with her in Brentwood today along with one of my dearest friends....

God is God and we are not, yet even in our imperfections (and there were many yesterday alone for me) He loves us just as we are. It is my hope that indeed I can learn to share His love to others....just as they are....and share the mercy and grace that is daily bestowed on me.

God is good....Praise God that I don't have to be perfect!

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Amazing Grace...God so provides...

2009-06-03T23:03:00.000-05:00

It was Sissy's Birthday (on Thursday)

The Halibut was delicious

The seared fillet Oscar....oh my!

Mrs. Goofy and me (what happened to that hair)

What an exciting night in Brentwood, TN. We were guests at Mere Bulles for dinner and we had the most amazing time with our friend David Cooper. The women are my dearest friends and companions and that was amazing...and Mr. Cooper owns real estate deeds on my heart (with Les's approval) for the many ways he has helped me through the years.

Reflections after a night of friends celebrating...

2009-06-03T05:39:00.000-05:00

When I left Allen, Texas to move closer to family and to take care of my very small children's needs after I became a single mom, it was a bittersweet close. The home I was leaving in Allen was my dream of a home, I had bought it as it was completed in a new neighborhood, I had prayed long and hard for it. We had won cars there, we had had friends that were so close, closer than my family at times...neighbors that were precious. It was my first home to purchase. My friends there were very close and we had a good time no matter what we were doing. God was literally asking me to leave every dream I ever had and on top of that my marriage no longer existed (that was my fault, not God's) It was such a blow on every level, humiliating, humbling, financially bereif, socially isolating, shaming my parents, career changing...it was a dark season and a time of locusts. Removed from teaching where I loved to teach by moving, removed from friends and fellowships I adored, removed from the lifestyle I had worked hard to earn, removed from the dream every girl has to live happily ever after and removed from stability at home with two small children.

That was literally a little over a decade ago this summer.

Last night, I realized how God has indeed restored my life. I looked across at my most precious husband grilling with our friend's husband and laughing and smiling at my friend and I in our bedroom as I worked on it while we visited. My dear friend arrived from Fayetteville, Arkansas. We have been friends through the highest joys and the lowest valleys. We have been friends when gallons of milk were shared and now we share with others who don't have milk like we didn't. Last night my home was buzzing with a couple we adore who came to share fellowship with us. A college boy who was and is a privilege to be with, phone calls to other out of town friends brought them near us on a speaker phone. Hamburgers that Dh made were so amazing I literally don't think I have ever eaten something that tasted as good. Our friends not only entertained us with their tales and laughter, they are the kind of friends that even cleaning the kitchen was fun and they did it for me! Now any other situation would have been horrifyingly shaming to me...but not these folks, these folks are my chosen family. They celebrate our successes and stand with us in prayer. They laugh at my silliness but help shovel out of the difficulties. (which last night included cleaning my master bedroom until it was spotless. I literally choked as I swept the wooden floors as the dust rose...and they laughed at my realities as one hot glued (thanks Nester for concepts) my tassel trim on the drapes. Another wiped down a surface and who knew, there was wood on my dresser....we laughed, shared, and prayed together and it was more than fun! Madison called in from her Dad's and we got to share with her too, she is in Bible school this week and she is having a great time....Praise God!

Since that move so long ago, I had so missed my friends in Dallas. The comradery that they had brought to my world then......the knowledge that I was loved by them and they by me. Last night I realized that God has indeed given me more than I had. Restored my life to overflowing with blessings of friendships... A house full of healthy children to love, a plethora of dogs (well, that might be considered a God smight), a soft cuddly rabbit that gives kisses, couple friends that indeed are our prayer partners and friends, and a joy that is so wondrous as God orchestrates this tapestry.
My days are filled with so much right now, some of good, most of it requiring so much more than I've ever been, but all of it joyful. I realize God hasn't rebuilt my life, he restored it. God so corrected me in my prayer time last week. I had been saying "A Joyful Place Called Home" "Rebuilding the family...one heart at a time" and God put a check in my heart to draw near and listen. It took me forever to get still (*Sweetie definition for sitting still and being quiet....sometimes over 2 whole minutes) but when I did get quieted...God whispered: "Rebuilding means that the design I had in place had a flaw......I have never made a mistake yet...not even you (as I sensed his deep and gentle laughter)....I have restored your life to what it was originally made to be....full of joy, laughter, blessings, and service for others....I make no mistakes and our work together is restoration.....not rebuilding....you see, my children may take the blueprints I have for their life and change them with their choices, but my plans for them are perfect, and in their submission to faith by obedience their lives are restored"

Wow....so much the walk that I am walking. Each time I allow God to have full ownership of some area of my life, surrender my will to His.....I am restored....fear leaves me....confusion lifts....supernatural peace and help arrives....and God simply loves taking a mess and making a miracle.....its His good pleasure to do so for His children....as it would be to remove the mud that my children play in....and when He washes us with his life giving water....we restore our hearts and our minds to be satiated with a taste that only his everlasting water brings to our lives.

This morning I sit in my office so very at peace in the world. I am so aware that God is God and I am not, for I could not have orchestrated all that is going on in my world, no matter what I did or tried, and though God's yoke for this ministry is now fitted, I find I am no longer fighting its focus....and it no longer chaffs and rubs me as I fight God to be who He says I am to become.....once again in submission to the Father's plan for my life....I am restored.

God is God and He is enough!

Today I am meeting with friends for breakfast, then heading back to the Brentwood studio to do some taping....what a privilege to be with the folks at Huntsville Botanical Gardens as well. God is so good, I cannot share fully how precious this time is!

Filled to Overflowing!

2009-06-01T06:03:00.000-05:00

Good Morning! This morning I a writing from a hotel room in Tennessee, and I had that awful feeling upon waking that I was lost....nothing looked familiar and nothing was where I might recognize it. Yesterday we droved from our home to Memphis to meet the children's father and stepmom and then to a town past Nashville, TN to have dinner with friends, then on to the internet television studio in Brentwood, TN where we taped and allowed our college boy to see what we have been working on for the past few weeks. He's a video production major at Southern Arkansas University, so this was right up his ally.
Dinner with out friends. Wow, I believe a new standard was set this weekend, first we had dinner with our dear friends in Alabama Friday night. We so enjoyed their fellowship and company and enjoyed so much seeing our youngest children interact. Then Saturday we fellowshipped withour own children as they prepared to go away for five weeks. Sunday night we we so privileged to meet another new friend's family and enjoy dinner at their home in Tennessee. It just felt like God has sent other like minded friends and how good it is to know their hearts and share this journey called ministry that God has placed us on. I don't know that I have ever laughed more, shared more, or been more thoroughly thrilled with three evenings in a row...it was as though God said "You come right here, I have a special creation for you two...and he gave us two beautiful packages made especially for us.....and those perfectly adorned boxes with all their ribbons and curls would have been enough...but inside the boxes was a beauty one cannot describe, there were some of the most beautiful hearts you'll ever know" What a gift, to meet and learn such friends! God has so blessed me with my friends this year....taking the field of friends you all are to a level I could only have imagined as you share your hearts with me!
When Godly friends gather, the time spent together takes on an entirely different level of joy in the fellowship. There are no words to tell you how full Les and I's hearts have been this weekend, how much joy there was in those three days. Just wow!
This morning we have a neighbor child letting the boys out and feeding the geriatric labs too. I think its almost funny that in able to be where I am the most important thing was to find the dog sitter. It was! Thankful for Jeremy who is always willing to come love on our four legged babes when I am out of town.
One of the highlights of the weekend was hearing and knowing that a 13 year dream I have had for a friend of mine began to come true on Saturday. I could not stop smiling each step of the day Saturday knowing that she was about to receive the honor and ability to live exactly who God made her to be....and that I was going to be on the front row cheering her own for the next few months!
God is so beautifully weaving and I am so thankful to be allowed near the weaver with my one pitiful thread...as He beautifully makes me realize that we are all enough if we are just who he made us to be!
God is God and we are not, but He is enough!

The First Sunday of Summer

2009-05-31T06:33:00.000-05:00

This morning there is a somber feeling tone going on at our home. For most families are celebrating summer beginning this week, but in our home its more of a somber tone. Today for the step or blended family means that your children are leaving for weeks at a time. For some families it means a hostile transfer, court ordered even, to not deal with each other this day. For other families it means a nice lunch or dinner after driving together, then leaving with friendly waves. For our family it means loading up four weeks of clothes, things, possessions and loveys and knowing that they will be 400 miles away for four weeks.
The days that lead up to Transfer Day are pretty hairy. The children get nervous about the changes. Its a mixture of excitement to see loved ones there and sadness to leave friends and activities here. We call it Toxic Transfer Week at our home, because in many ways it is simply that....a toxic time of emotions that really aren't about whatever it is they are aimed at, but about handling the emotions that come with change.
This year we are all pretty neutral and excited about the change. There are no custody battles going on like last year. There are no anxts about us having moved from Arkansas to Alabama. There's even a new stepmom in the picture on the ride home. The children are excited to know her more fully, be with their grandparents and generally live a country kid life this summer.
Meanwhile I am aware that God is God and there is such appreciation that our situation is friendly, happy, and easy this year....it wasn't that way one year ago.
This year we're splitting the weeks they are there. Six weeks was simply too long for Madison so we're doing 4 and 2 with a horse camp she loves during the middle one followed by two weeks at home then two weeks back. We will visit her, because she IS such a Mama's girl right now and I don't want to miss that one bit!
Meanwhile God has the ministry projects going full blast and I have alot of catching up to do with our friends and neighbors (Becky!!! I miss our time together!) I have new diet goals and clothes to refit down. I have a friend in Hazel Green who may get weary of how my heart pours out to her, God is so speaking to me about her right now.
Meanwhile let the cleaning begin. Last night I did our bathroom with a new mat, fresh counters and a clean floor. Yardsales provided the big tray to hold my pretties and I am so tickled with it I may do before and afters for you tomorrow. I have a need to reduce, lessen, and declutter right now as my weight goes down so my need for order is going up! Who knew!
Its almost Bible school time and I am looking forward to at least some time helping!

God is God and let us all pray for the transfer families today, its a hard hard day for some children and families!

Thursday

2009-05-28T20:16:00.000-05:00

What a week it has been! Wow. I believe so much of my life has been in preparation to grow to a place in trusting God I can only see glimpses of at this time. God has been so patient and gentle about tolerating my ignorance and silliness as I learn to step forward in faith.
The children have finished school and we are officially a junior in high school, a sophmore in college and a seventh grader! Yay!
My husband has so impressed me as he has been dealing with so much stress from work. He comes home and still manages to brighten our days each day!
I believe that poor Anthony Evans Jr. is going to wear his CD out in my jeep. I LOVE his voice as he sings songs I recognize and know on his Bridge album. He was so kind to sign all my Cd's in Garland and we have so enjoyed his concert at the Ready to Win Conference.
Tammy Trent, girlfriend, how encouraging was your book and your album! Wow! I have to say that your energy is at least equal to mine on stage...and I cannot wait to see your ministry and albums unfold!
My friend Sherry, I simply need you...Lunch Friday? God is good and I cannot wait to share wth you all that is happening. We are blessed and thankful for all that is going on!

God is God and I am not, but He is good!

My Introduction to a Broken Family

2009-05-26T06:21:00.000-05:00

When I grew up in a small town in Southern Arkansas, I only knew of one family that was a step family. I learned quickly that it wasn't a good thing from my perspective as a girl the child's age. The broken marriage had cost the family their home, their car when Dad left in it, they had moved into the only rent house in town, which happened to be front and center next to the car wash.....which happened to be within walking distance to our home.
It was a very shameful thing in those days for your parents to have divorced. The D word was ultimate failure in public. In this child's case in a small town where everyone knew what time your lights turned off (not to mention if the power company turned them off) and every choice was discussed....the child I knew never had a chance.
What I remember of her situation is this: Because they lived in the trailer which was code word for "they can't afford anything decent" you see everyone had seen the signs, "For Rent: $25 a week cash or work for it until I kick you out" and everyone knew that the owner was willing to hire women in his pit stop truck stop. Long hours, horrible conditions and no decent woman ever worked there. Women worked long hours there, wore really strong perfume, and often left with a man other than their husband or boyfriend. Yet her mom had to, her step dad you see was of the non employed kind. We thought that was so because he didn't know where to find a job, but truth was, he wasn't looking for one. There was an eternal optimism between our girls and I that we could "help" the man find a job and were always telling him helpful advice like "Mr. Austin is hiring down at the store" but the only time her step dad went to the store was to buy pop, except Mr. Austin put his pop in a brown paper sack and he never ever showed us what kind. If we bothered him too long, he'd leave his lawn chair and light up a cigarette and go inside the trailer.
My neighbor had a flair for the dramatic, perhaps because she survived such a rough childhood by fantasizing all the time about going to Hollywood. She would take hair scarves and wrap her red hair in the fashion of Hollywood. It was her armour, her way of making us all go away and taking herself somewhere else where the pain couldn't touch her. After all, Gilligan's Island had shown us that Ginger had quite the life and Ellie Mae got to have it all: monkeys AND glamour. She had a way of looking past the horizon and you knew she truly wanted to live there, anywhere, but where she was.
I remember being extremely shocked when I went home with my friend one day as her mother slapped her face harshly because she hadn't cleaned the kitchen and put out the meat to thaw before school. It came without warning and I just couldn't quite take the whole picture in, we had simply walked in the door, a door which at my house would have meant a snack and a hug from someone. I had never in my life seen someone slapped by their mother, and certainly never in a way that caused a handprint on her face. I wept bitter tears as I walked home thinking "why can't mother's just love their babies" I was seven at the time.
Things did not improve for my neighbor child. As we got older, the dysfunctional aspects of her family grew too. She and her brother had each other, but that was about all they had. Their natural dad never came back and he never sent for them or provided for them. Their mother eventually drank too, and after twenty years of working in the truck stop, well, her ability to think there was a brighter tomorrow was very damaged.
What was more shocking to me as an adult now is that the adult school of thinking at the time was "protect your children's hearts and minds from knowing such as this" which meant event the child wasn't reached out to either. This was supposedly the Bible Belt, a strong community of believers, yet she was as a leper. She wasn't churched, she didn't have appropriate clothes in a day that clothes that were clean and just so mattered whether they were new or not. She went without alot. These were the days before school lunch programs and in our school, if you were hungry they gave you a peanut butter sandwich on sourdough bread. She ate one daily...while longingly looking at the soup and cinnamon roll she wouldn't be given.
That memory haunts me. My unkindness haunts me. As though we girls in that class somehow thought it was okay to ignore one so in need....to not share....to not love her with God's love. Oh we were aided by the adults in our world, they were clearly saying she was "untouchable" but what if we had?
Children of divorce whether small or adult need the ability to know that they are loved. I have a step mother in my forties. My mother died in 2005. Even as a step mom and mom myself, when Virginia came there were concerns that we would forever lose my Dad as our father when she married him. In some ways I have lost my father. He is her husband now. But because I am so aware of her gift of inclusion of our children and grandchildren, we praise this woman who now chooses to love us too. Who has lovingly taken care of our father through many hard times and as he faced serious health issues. I am thankful she is in my life, and his!
My own family entered Julie's world in the late 1990's. I became that single mom of two children. Because of Julie I was determined to keep our relationship with the children's grandparents and Dad at the least neutral. Children need their father, and extended family. It wasn't easy to forge a new bridge to them after we divorced...but the children and I needed to allow their love and their care of our children. My grandparents were my world growing up, why should I deny them theirs. As a single mom, life was hard, even with college degrees. The debts from the divorce and custody still haunt my mind monthly as I continue to pay them off ten years later. People were kinder to me, praying for me, sometimes putting gas in my car in the early days, or inviting us to come to family meals. Older folks at church invited us to sit with them and helped with my then 2 and 5 year old. Sometimes my minister said on Wednesday nights, "Why don't you leave early and get your groceries, and slipped me a $20 to buy them with" as the nursery still had my children at the end of a long teaching day after commuting home and hustling to church...those moments were oxygen. Oxygen that I so needed to breathe in...to know that my Father in heaven had provided for me, when my husband had left me....my family had criticized me....my friends had abandoned me....my children needed me.
We all need grace and mercy. We all need love. We all need God. What can we do to be God for someone today until they meet him through your face or hands?

God is good!

The Man I love..

2009-05-25T18:57:00.000-05:00

Our trip to Texas was a beautiful thing. Les was generous and kind enough to rearrange his schedule to be my personal driver and good time friend when my original plan to go with a girlfriend didn't work out. This is a loving sacrifice for him. You see, I am a very high energy girl and when I am at an event like the Thelma Wells "Ready to Win" Conference, I am on a mission the entire time. Usually my timeline includes 6 a.m. to midnight workschedules and alot of missed meals. Top that with the concept that I need to personally pray and prepare for such events and you have a husband who gets very little chance for normacy for 3 days running. Add to that over 28 hours of driving time and a tired wife and you know why he's my hero.

God is good!

Company Girl Coffee 5-22-09

2009-05-22T15:53:00.000-05:00

Oh My Dear Sweet Girls!
I'll have to direct you to the green room with me at Thelma Wells 'Ready to Win" Ministry event in Garland Texas. I am here in Dallas with Thelma... literally...as her guest, you know, Extraordinary Women's Tour Mama T!!!, and all the fabulous women who are doing this event for a potential 6600 women for today and tomorrow. Let me tell you, God is God and i am not! I do not know how this all has happened since CBE in March, but God is doing amazing things and its all coming together! We drove through the night 14 hours from Alabama to Texas, flat tire on the way and all, Les is with me. I stopped for a restroom break and came out 3 minutes later in Corinth Mississippi and realized that my tire was so going flat. After finding 6 air pumps in town, it turns out that the town has air, but no electricity working to run it!! We were so appreciative of a WalMart that stayed late to get us back on the road!

Talked nonstop to friends and business partners for 10 hours on the way (can't wait to see THAT cell bill) Working out the details for last minute needs for a big event. God was cooking something new enroute....something so amazing I could.not.believe it was happening! We finally stopped at 4 a.m to 6 a.m. to rest and then hit the road hard again. Upon arrival in Dallas, Thelma's security met me at the hotel with my security VIP tags and parking passes. Can you imagine? The short bus girl from Alabama didn't understand why Security was calling, had I messed up before I even arrived??.....they wanted me "USHERED" to the front row so I could sit with Thelma and be introduced to the other speakers! WoW! What a moment, to walk up and realize more of my prayers to be with these women helping them help other women....one heart at a time was coming true before my eyes.....a 29 year dream of affecting women
The coffee is at the kiosk for us today, I want you to come backstage with me and see everyone! I'll be back later this weekend to bring you the pictures as Les uploads them. Madison is with me as is Les and we're seeing more of God's miraculous positioning as he launches this new level of ministry to women and families and has so graciously positioned my business to help other women find God's love for them and his forgiveness...as God has helped me have a very different understanding of how deep his love for me is, despite me!
For such a time as this.....I have no special skills. I have no clout. Despite my husband's insistance that I am cute as a button, I know that I am not Miss America material. I have nothing that would allow for what is happening in my life to happen....I simply had a desire that was God given to begin a ministry to rebuild families one heart at a time....to help people learn a simple joy....that God loves them despite whatever or whoever they are or what they've done. That joy is mine and I want to share it! God is richly blessing it and taking us to new paths we never imagined!
God is God and I am not.....yet God is so allowing me to witness front row seating for the miracles he is orchestrating today....and for this I am thankful....can't wait to share what all happens this weekend! (you'll be proud to know I made it on and off stage and through the lunch with all the "somebodies" without spilling food on me or falling....but oh how the joy of the Lord is present in the Garland Center today!) Be back there tonight 7-10 for a concert and then Saturday for speaking and workshops 9-3 pm I am so blessed to be meeting in real life Blissfully Domestic's Katie, the Editor and Chief of Blissfully Domestic! Yay! I so wish I could bring you all in person along with me!

What a wonderfully surprising life this is....God is God and I am simply amazed at where He is going.....
much love,

I have to share with you that as I was coming back here to change clothes for tonight, a sweet lady was calling after me...she recognized me from speaking at CBE and later being with my dear new friend and author Sandy Ralya (www.beautifulwomanhood.com) in Dallas! My very first fan! Yay! It was so exciting to share how God is changing things in her life too and how she took home the words given and applied them to create new realities in her marriage in life! Go God!!!! I am so humbled that she would seek me out, follow me to the lobby area and take the time to share with me! God is God and I am so blessed!

And sometimes I am small....

2009-05-21T05:44:00.000-05:00

There is nothing I like better than to see someone or something I know and see them succeed. It's a joy like none other, its my heart joy....to know that someone had a dream, that the dream was within them, often God given, and then to see them execute that which God made them to do. God allows me so often to know some small thing that helps others on their paths to their dreams...this girl from Alabama...someone who is simply herself....I own no magic wands, just simply alot of work somedays...but God puts where we are..... Wow....it's like watching the moving pictures as Granny would say....breathtaking!
Yesterday was one of those moments in your life when time simply stood still. Thirteen years ago I had a dream. A big big dream of working with one of my heroes. Not sharing a stage, nor getting to be in his presence, but of God putting me in the position for him to come to me as a mentor in areas that were not his, that he would seek me to help mentor him in that area. In ways I cannot fully share with you right now, yesterday like something out of a Hollywood movie....that dream came true.
Not only did that dream come true, but in the course of fourteen hours, God gave me so many dreams coming true that it got to the "is this really happening" stage of unbelievable....my toes curled so many times in 14 hours from the trying to contain excitement as my dreams all came true in call after call...meeting after meeting, that my toes are probably so strong now you might could see biceps!

(It's just so not cool to sit in important meetings and squeal....but yes, the short bus girl did that too) Not only did my dream come true, but because God allowed me to meet and help some girlfriends over the last six months, they get to see some of their dreams come true too.
You'd think that would be the ultimate happy amazing day don't you? Yes, I did too...we live our whole lives seeking and dreaming opportunities and God's divine blessings would allow such a thing. So why after such a day did I have tears that were not joyful running down my face for the hour after I left such a 14 hour day? They were not tears of joy.

Yes, as our friend Nester would say because I'm still learning that "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." The day was perfect, everything went as well as I could only dream it could go. Fantastic fellowship, amazing meals with amazing people. Being in the presence of God as He simply orchestrated this new symphony that will so change lives, I know it has changed mine....yet...my own imperfections, my scars, my fear of inadequacy left me feeling like Cinderella before the ball. You know the moment...when she was excited about going to the ball and then the wicked stepmother said "You? Going to the ball? How ridiculous"

Now hear me well, no one said or did anything that was less than "isn't this exciting" and "You are amazing" but my own voice in my head kept saying "I'll fail, I can't do this" but the truth is and was, I had already done what was being discussed. God had for many many many years prepared for such a time as what was happening, God's been preparing me my whole life for such a time as this....so many things I couldn't imagine why I had to go through, learn, experience....but yesterday the tapestry God wove in my life all made sense!

The wicked stepmother voice was not said to me, it was the voice, my fear in my ears....it was satan using my own voice saying it to me, thought warfare...but the thoughts were simply not mine. I was tired, there had been a phone call about a death before I was leaving, I had been up 26 hours and suddenly Satan seized His opportunity to play on my fear. Yes, fear. Can you imagine, I got to experience a thirteen year dream come true, I got to see first hand in person miraculous circumstances happen in such a way that my dreams came true before my eyes, yet my mind could not wrap its head around the joy and blessings of my Father's grace. Instead, my flesh went into fear and disbelief that I was enough....so accustomed to not being "enough" because I am imperfect....how silly. How truly silly. God has moved literal mountains to make a dream happen, how silly of me to think I can't be enough that God can't do what God wants to do with me. He is after all, God....and though I'm stubborn sometimes, I do surrender and obey him eventually...even on the hard things. (ever wonder why I call myself God's short bus girl?) It's because I taught learners who learned differently....children with giftedness, children with handicaps, children with learning differences...and I drove those students in a bus for every field trip...usually the small bus....and in my mind the short bus children are precious...but they have to get to places with different methods, they are taught differently than the other children...and often because of their giftedness, physical limitations, or mental capacity, they learn differently than others. (Raises hand to join class....I learn very differently) God has to teach me some lessons over and over, and others he has to simply show me differently...and most of them I have arrived to the learning very differently than others.

Are we truly believing God is God when He puts before us every promise in the Bible that tells us He is Jehovah, Almighty, Omnipotent, Mighty, Provider, Healer, our Father in heaven? I don't know about you, but some days those are words that simply don't get enough meaning in my belief comprehension. ...or my faith.

God is God and I am not.....and today I will thank God for allowing me to be forgiven for making this miraculous day yesterday about me in my pitiful moments in the jeep coming home....and I will thank Him for showing me yet more glimpses of His majestic power and ability to orchestrate lives hundreds of miles a part, in ways we'll never understand to reach more hearts for his purpose....

Girls it is time to focus on who God made us to be, and stop playing our role is small. What ever we do, let us do it as though unto God....our love shown to others is what he calls us to do. We do amazing things when we do it with God's love....folding a freshly washed towel extra special, helping a friend with a child, making dinner happen for family, loving others when we get the chance, ignorning unkind words...helping overlook offenses.....its time to stop focusing on what we're not, and allow God to use who He made us to be....for each and every one of us was made for such a time as this.....and God is God and we are not. Praise him, Pray to him, Listen for Him, Love Others through Him, and let's simply allow God to be God in our lives!

Love you!

P.S. Rachel Anne Ridge! I am so proud of the book project you are producing....how exciting to see the absolute joy and dynamic tool that God has given you in Company Girl...and I can't wait to see you share it with the world! Company Girl Coffee has been such a blessing to me and I know to others....thank you for sharing your heart and your writing with us!

Rebuilding hearts...

2009-05-19T06:23:00.000-05:00

One of the areas of people's hearts that divorce and the destruction of a family reeks is the ability to believe that love is forever. God tells us His love is unending, that it covers all things. The problem is that people who are choosing to end marriages have substituted loving feelings for the actions of love. God helps us know boundaries of relationships. He teaches us that we should not be offended with others, that anger between a husband and wife (or anyone) should be resolved before that day is over. That we are to only look at each other and put each other first. However God also teaches us about grace, forgiveness, restoration, and how to come back to him repenting of our sins for forgiveness and a clean heart. He made sure that we understood that forgiveness is not a one time event, but to be given over and over again if asked for. God showed us He didn't expect perfection.....he gave us a way to erase mistakes!
My children pay a price because love wasn't forever in the commitment their natural father and I made at the altar. The details aren't important, but its safe to say you can give me 100% of half of the blame at least for our marriage ending. Even when someone else acts out or is the public "bad guy" the truth is usually much different behind closed doors. You see, we all watch divorce behaviors because it is often public sin. Affairs, anger, money betrayals.....the stuff of highly rated television shows....but the truly sad part is that the shows only glorify the power of the leaving, the pain ends usually in that episode. However divorce is something that bring a legacy of pain and heart scars for much longer that it takes to complete the paperwork. Children have to deal with knowledge that even their parents cannot be counted on to be there for them....that love does in fact end....that things change when the going gets rough and that ultimately they can't trust us, despite our desire to provide for their safety, comfort, and security....their hearts are scarred no matter how carefully divorce is handled and it has long lasting effects. I often want to have a couple do a trading of children for two weeks at a time, so they can learn how hard it is to truly end a marriage....take 1/2 their money away, all of their weekends, add hearts the are hurting and missing their parents.....family that doesn't understand...friends that suddenly disappear to avoid the strife....the stigma of your name not matching your child's....the difficulty of later having a marriage to a spouse your child resents even if they love him, as mine do, they wonder why their dad couldn't be that man...or I couldn't love their dad that way....there is always a root to be unrooted, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness....after a divorce...and you know forever you broke a covenant with God even if there were Biblically recognized reasons to end the marriage. Being "right" and divorced is not the sweet song of victory...its a hollow, empty, failure and it hurts, even if it temporarily seems to make life better. The waves of discontent, quitting, anger, giving up....will affect you and your children for a long time. You will see them question whether or not they caused it, even if you repetitively say and show them they did not, Satan plays with the thought of being "unloveable" after all, your spouse left too!

God is a God of restoration. Even when families break up, move away, and dissolve, forgiveness is the only path to peace again. God tells us to live in the present. Yes, it would be oh so popular in today's society to hold onto the past....glorify my righteousness in being angry over it...but the truth is, that only hurts my heart as well as my children. Remember they are genetically 50% the man who I was divorced from....and they know it....and they love him. It has not been an easy road, but we have actively chosen to put the children as the focus, not our failed relationship.
Unconditional love means loving people as they are, not as you'd wish them to be. God's love is that way.....he accepts us where and how we are....He doesn't remind us of our mess ups, our complete failures, his disappointment in us...no. He accepts us where we are and loves us until we are ready to honor Him with our obedience and praise.
When our divorce happened, it was ugly, and it wasn't easy. The truth is, that my children are still their father's and their father is still their dad. Yes, boundaries changed, I changed, and he has changed....he's now happily married, working successfully in an important job, and involved as much as he can be in the children's lives. They need to know their parents love them....even when it is not possible for their parents to both live with them. Les and I have had to allow them to learn to trust again, to love a step father too...and now a step mom with their natural dad....we've not tried to imply that either new step has replaced anyone, yet we have both actively chosen to tell and show our children that loving the spouse that lives with their other parent is not only natural, we'd hope that for them....there is plenty of love for all. Children need all of us as much as we can allow them to have us all. My daughter asked me the other day if I still love her natural father....and I think my husband said it best...."Of course we do daughter, without your dad we wouldn't have you!"

Love never fails......even if marriages end....when forgiveness happens and strife is ended....even two such as us (my exhusband and I) can choose to work in love raising these children of ours together. It takes a commitment to doing hard things, it takes putting the past behind us, but it is so worth the effort. It is a different walk than I expected but then isn't every day in life that way?

God is God and He is good!

Happy Monday

2009-05-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had experiences in your life that you truly just chalked up to "I messed up, it wasn't in the plan, gosh I am so _______ (whatever you tell yourself)" Do you think God was surprised?
Our Father knows us and has our entire lives handled and our future handled before we ever took a breath. Nothing is new under his Son, or the sun either.....murder, adultery, lying, deception, broken families....they are all stories of the old testament....and today too. What matters? Faith that God loves you, forgives you, repenting your sins, having faith that you're forgiven, forgiving the past and going forward to the present and future.
Its a Christian's rotation, faith forgiveness, faith, repentence, faith.. restoration, faith, repentence, faith forgiveness....God provided his son so we could be forgiven, healed, freed from our bondage because of sin....we are indeed saints after we accept the grace and forgiveness of all of our sins and our future sins...as long as we believe in God's love, his death on the cross, his son Jesus and in being obedient to his calls and repenting when we fall short as we were made and will always do until he perfects us in His presence.

God is God and we are not....

that is my comfort each time I fail....and that He loves me, despite me.....and for that I will always love Him!

Women’s Ministry Luncheon TableScapes 2009

2009-05-17T14:54:00.000-05:00

God's Timing....

2009-05-17T06:07:00.000-05:00

There have been many things happening in the past months in my life that I simply am beyond understanding. One thing is perfectly clear: God is God and I am not. It is as simple as that. This weekend was another example of how God's ways are not our ways. Friday I was in the Tupelo Film Festival with one of my clients, Tracy Carnes, who is the author of Excess Baggage, and whose screenplay Understanding Polly has just won a screenplay contest and is headed to Hollywood for review as a movie. Exciting stuff in a world I am unfamiliar. We visited Tupelo downtown and met charming people at Reed's Bookstore and Tracy bought a pair of pink cowboy boots.....and the two of us had time together in person for just a few hours for the first time in 15 years, while we did the work creative strategist and authors do when at a film festival.

Friday night back in my town, we were setting up for Suzanne Crocker, author of Pig in a Taxi, to come to our church Saturday for our Women's Ministry Event. Setting up my tablescape as part of our luncheon for 100 Saturday was the agenda Friday night....Les and I simply were running an errand on Beltline Avenue that I was urgently asking Les to do at a time it simply didn't make sense to leave, but I had that "we have to go now feeling" when life changed. In front of us we saw a red truck hit from the rear by an older man in a Neon, it was a bad wreck, cars spun, the truck was bent sideways...and I asked Les to pull over to let me see about the man in the red truck, he wasn't getting out and the truck was hit badly, and much to my shock it was my dear friend David Cooper, America's Income Trainer who lives in Tennessee. I love David Cooper, you have to simply know that to make the story understandable, he has personally poured into my life and taught me skills that have made a difference in my life, helped me earn cars from Mary Kay, and ministered to me when i thought my life was ending after a divorce with two small children. He encouraged me to believe that God has a plan in that too. Les (God bless him for allowing his wife to lead him to do seemingly crazy things) did stop and we were with David for the police reports and then loaded him up in my jeep with his things and we worked to help David get to a speaking venue and to handle the details that go with having an undriveable truck after a wreck when you're far from home.
We had our event Saturday at church, and what a blessing it was! I so loved putting together a black polka dot and yellow tablescape for ten and the event was amazing. Kelly, a new friend from church, sang and did God annoint her for singing! Then Suzanne Crocker spoke of her experiences in West Africa. Her honest poignant experiences of her expectations and the realities of what God expected of her, were so meaningful as I am personally learning to trust God at this all new level in ministry. Yes, Suzanne, God does indeed expect us to follow where He leads, and in my case, places I never knew I wanted to go....and to use skills, only He could provide. His purpose for us is real and each one of us does have a ministry from God as the Bible tells us.
After cleanup and finish up, it was time to go check on David Cooper. Les and I drove him home to the Nashville area. God so blessed us with that time. David Cooper changes peoples lives as he teaches them how to be the professional sales trainer and man of integrity he is. His personal mentors are/were people such as Mark Victor Hanson, Cavett Roberts, Earl Nightingale, and Zig Ziglar. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale that great man of God, who called David the Ambassador of Encouragement. David has affected so many lives with the sharing of his love and skills, God uses him in powerful ways. Our evening taking him home was exciting and so encouraging as God heard my heart's cry of the last few weeks and produced David....whom I had not asked to help me with this ministry, yet I had cried out to God only last week to say "God, why can't you send David or someone to help me with this newest project you've given me, I don't know the where or how to's on how to do this filming you have before me here in Alabama....I just don't know how to do this at this level" and then there was David in my car. David may be a short bus boy too, he wouldn't have stopped TWO blocks from my home without the experience of having a wreck....what were the chances of it being ME who arrived on the scene....what was the likelihood that his busy schedule would allow an evening of sharing in the car the next day and an evening together with his lovely wife Susan in Nashville. God's ways are not my ways....and yet His provision is so amazing.
The beautiful thing about this life God is allowing me to live is it is not about me. God is allowing me front row seats in peoples's lives that truly affect others in such amazing ways . He has given me the gift of people like Rachel Anne Ridge and The Company Girls and her sister Katherine, of Raising Five that so encourage me in this walk....as Rachel teaches women everyday how to make home a sanctuary in simple understandable, fun lessons interlaced with God's promptings as He guides her. He has put Lori Kasbeer, a woman I greatly admire for her ability to help others find the good things through her Book Reviews and insights with me in Dallas for a weeklong gift of time with her.....He has allowed me to have the privilege of providing structure and support systems for ministries such as Thelma Wells, Ready to Win and Extraordinary Women speaker. He's introduced me to Karen Rabbitt, this amazing retired psychotherapist and author of Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad Embracing God, whose memoirs on her childhood abuse has helped so many women gain awareness of understanding that they too can be healed of their pain. God has gifted me with people like David Cooper's friendship, men and women who are truly God's servants and people who so share God's love and healing with others. Friday morning I was on the phone with Sandy Ralya, Beautiful Womanhood's author and presentor. This week I had the privilege of understanding that God had a new plan for Allison Worthington's Blissfully Domestic...and I am truly blessed to know that team and now be part of God's revealing of the plan to Alli too. It is a breath taking thing God is doing and I sometimes wish He'd simply let me see the blueprint of what in the heck he's doing with this short bus girl from Alabama...but I am glad He's allowing me to come along on His ride....although it feels more like I'm holding on for dear life! It is kinda like the old Army comercial, "The hardest job you'll ever love"...that is this walk God has given me.
Let me give you an example of the kinds of things that are happening. God wakes me up at 4 a.m. and puts an absolute understanding in my simple little brain that I am to call a known person I have never met in my life, and be open to listening to their needs. Now, this isn't my comfort zone, I don't wake up and say "Oh gee, let me call a complete stranger, who happens to be famous in their world and explain that God said to call, and what can I do for you?" Most times I think "Where on your earth God am I to get this private number? and then He either makes it happen or connects me a different way" I always imagine they think "my gosh, another crazy got my number" Yet not only are they answering, they have then told me something that was needed and God every time has simply put me in a place of humbly saying "I can do that for you" and then it happens. It is the most breath taking life to life right now....and yet I am seeing God knit together this plan of His in ways I cannot understand do not comprehend....its just about doing the next thing He puts before me.
I wish it were that easy for me to obey each directive....but I usually worm around and suffer through the disobedience for a day or three first...and then I realize God wins and we go again.

God takes.my.breath.away.with his magnificience!

This morning I am completely unaware of exactly what God's doing in my life, but in my time with Him I came to realize once again the depth of God saying "I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with MY will, nothing in heaven or earth can stop you" Romans 8:31 Psalms 46:1-3, Luke 1:37. All I know about my own life plans? That God has clearly said my purpose is to help minister to the ministers and become teacher to the teachers....to help rebuild families one.heart.at.a.time. It certainly didn't make sense over 15 years ago when He first told me it was my purpose...it surely wasn't possible from where I was then, yet God had a plan long before I had a belief in His whisperings for my life. Now many later God has gathered a team of amazing servants of Christ, isn't it interesting how God is allowing me to do just what he said, to minister to the ministers, to equip the teachers. Can't you see that God has brought in His team.....on marriage, on healing hearts, on financial equipping, on rebuilding home, on ministering to families, to rebuilding the church.....can you see...God DOES has a plan and its unfolding....and this short bus girl is overwhelmed with the joy of seeing God weave His magnificent tapestry right before my eyes. (If I can just hold them open long enough between blinking to see if this is real! and when I'm not very overwhelmed thinking I have to do this alone until God thwacks me again and says "Stop thinking so much and simply obey and do the next thing!")

Pinch me would you? God is God....and God sized work and God sized amazing dreams are coming true and I could not be more excited....the front row seats are amazing!

Whirling...

2009-05-14T06:29:00.000-05:00

It is another week that seems surreal. The whole point of coming home from outside the home work was to, not be outside the home as much, or at least I thought that. Why else would God insist on it? However, the longer this goes, the more I am seeing that He simply had other plans for my time than my classrooms, or my schools, or the things I did at the colleges. Silly me, I thought coming home, well, it meant coming home.
The new normal is so mixed. I am telling you, without God time first, there would be no surviving this new normal. God simply has to orchestrate these kind of days in my life, I couldn't handle the rest if He weren't.There are moments in my day when I'm on Mom duty, waking them, homeschooling one, running another football program gear, then there's the home duties that happen between errands, during conference calls, and before and after they all sleep. The step and blended ministry needs happen regularly and often throughout the week, sometimes for hours, other times for simply phone call time. Then there's that whole area of my life being a Success Strategist. What the heck is one you ask? In my case, its someone who is hired to do out of the box problem solving, to create strategies in incremental developed steps for individual, corporate, or campaign marketing. Yesterday was so surreal, before the day was out I had worked on projects for three authors, conferenced with Blissfully Domestic's team on skype, talked and worked with a Southern Living project for one of my clients, had another client ask if I could do a talk radio discussion...and all this while I tried to hold down the fort on life at home! Part of the week is usually spent working on a prescriptive learning solution for a local or area parent or school for a child who needs to be "figured out" or to develop specialized learning plans. Then there's the whole "gee I exist as a human too" time needs. You've heard the adege be careful what you pray for? Living it.
One of my friends was here to hang out a while yesterday afternoon. In the course of us sitting for coffee we had 1) a call from the school for son 2) Southern Living called regarding one of my clients 3) Client called affirming a need for an exciting new project and asked for a plan for it 4) Husband called to verify I remembered a dental appointment for child 5) UPS delivered ministry materials. 6) Youngest child brought in happily the completed homeschool pack she wanted to show me. All of it while I unloaded and reloaded a dishwasher. My friend said it somewhat succinctly..."God had a plan for your high energy didn't He...." And yet other days I am simply His child, Les's wife, and their mom and step mom. Its so hard to explain what happens in a normal week in my life, and truthfully, right now its exhausting.
In periods of my life God has used the 2x4 to say "too much" "slow down" "no" but right now, for this moment He has taken my world in a different direction....I wonder sometimes how long....it is not that God doesn't sent the help, the assistance, the cleared paths for places I had no idea we were going....but it would be so much easier if I could simply see the travel plans! Or perhaps God knows I simply couldn't handle it if I did.
All I know is each day, He sets before me what is to be done...and I try to do them....and then I finish the day and think "How in the world did that happen"...then almost as quickly think "that was God" when something has happened or connected that there is no way on earth this short bus girl had anything to do with it....and indeed it is as though God chuckles and says "Nope, you're right that was me" And I go to bed so weary and yet so aware that God is God and He is more than enough.

Timothy 6:17 not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

For so many years I thought money, or the right something or other might be the solution set for my heart's longing...but the truth was that God was what was missing, oh I knew Him, but trusting Him? Obeying Him? Listening to His directives? that was not happening...and I am not "there" by any means, but the more I lean deeply into trusting and loving God and letting him steer my ship...my life has taken on His purposes, mine seem so silly now....and with Him all of our needs are met.

Remaking Our Hearts

2009-05-12T06:01:00.000-05:00

Rhonda is a wise woman. Her reflections here One of the quotes from that writing is "You will be remade by whatever you spend the majority of your hours on. " I agree wholeheartedly, where we spend our thoughts, even light heartedly is what we reflect and become. How we interact with that which is before us makes us or is our legacy to show others.

The process of being "remade" is one I believe God continually presents throughout our lives. If we are listening to His whispers, if we are choosing to follow Him, we continually are remade into images that more resemble His work for our hearts, our minds, our actions.

How easy it is to become hardened. To stop the heart love for self and for others that allows joy to flow. To not face with confidence that God can and does move mountains, to begin putting answers into play instead of solutions. To lean on the past of our experience instead of the presence of God's promises today and into the future of God's promises

tomorrow.

Why are we, the Christians, not hopeful about today? Is not the Holy Spirit still living within us, comforting us, guiding us, ever present with us? Why are we, the believers, still working on doubting God? We are in the business of telling others why something can't happen instead of listening and realizing that God is in the business of making things not only possible, but miracles truly happen every day. ...big and small...whether its sending the workers or providing provision....it is my experience and my belief that God provides for His works.... Why are we so focused on the daunting challenge of the work in front of us instead of the love of God and God's love for others that always powers and re energizes the work He gives us.

If I have heard one I have heard a hundred reasons in the last six weeks why this or that cannot be done, how something was tried and it failed, how others let folks down or the schedules conflict, how little people like you and me don't do big things that way, let me tell you little people like you and me choose to do little things that make things happen, whether its the way we rear and instruct our children so that they become workers and providers, or the way we carry a meal to a hurting family, it is the little things we do that become the hands and works of God.....God uses our hands and hearts to do His work....and it becomes done.....Please Lord, help me to care only about your good pleasure in me, help me to be obedient to your instruction and directives and to look up when others look down at me....or they simply walk away from you....and forget who gave us the task and why it matters.

Father help me to love you with my obedience, love others with your love, and to each day realign my heart to your Word and the work you place before me. Help me to be hungry for your peace, your pleasure, your harvest to be the daily focus of my work.

James 1:22 tells us to not only hear God's Word but to DO IT!

God's boy....and his Daddy's too.

2009-05-11T05:58:00.000-05:00

Last night we had a concert by Jamie Kay from Weatherford Texas, our minister's son. It was the kind of concert that left you wanting to say "Yes!" to someone afterwards. Jamie has had a colorful past...he's been shot, a bounty hunter, an a/c repair man, many jobs...much searching....was open about it....and yet displayed the kind of "I know grace, I know forgiveness, you can too" reality that very few Christians will admit to others about themselves. We're all too busy wearing the mask of perfect.
I don't know about you but I need God. NEED forgiveness, mercy, grace, understanding and everything else God offers me through His word. I don't have my act together, I'm not even sure what together would look like. All I know is that I want this unimagineable love that God has given me and I want everyone else to have it too.
One of the most encouraging things I saw yesterday was the father pride of our minister Jackie Kay for his boy. This boy had openly acknowledged his struggles and past...his humanness...yet his father couldn't have been prouder of him last night singing his heart. Oh that we should all look at our children that way. My heart smiles when I see a father's eyes so proud of a son, so publically acknowledging that "that boy is mine" look. I long for my children to know that kind of love from not only their dad, but from their father in heaven. I long to know that kind of look from God myself.

No masks are required. God doesn't say "Thou shall wrap thy outward appearance and behaviors in a confining shape, molded only in one way" God made us all uniquely, differently, with different gifts, talents, and experiences. He didn't have a cookie cutter for Adam or Eve, he made us all individuals with different abilities. God hasn't called us to be perfect. He hasn't told us 3 strikes and we're out....he's told us that no matter what we do, nothing can seperate us from His love. That if we come to him with a repentent heart and a desire to turn from our sins, there is forgiveness for our sins. That no matter how long we've sinned or what we've done, that Father God wants us to return to His fold...that even one lost and found again is rejoiced over....even if 99 were never lost....God loves us, he loves you...and I am so thankful that he doesn't require us to wear a mask of perfection but He asks only that we transparently come to him with our heart and flesh showing...no mask required!

Colossians 12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Jamie's concert reminds me once again that it is when we are weakest that God shows His great love and mercy to us. When we are powerless against that which we face, God's power overtakes us and fights for us....that when we submit to God's love and plans for our life, our life takes on new meaning....the anchor indeed does hold...let us all cling to God in the storms!

God is good!

P.S. These acrylic masks are truly worn by Nie Nie and her husband....who are recovering from a horrid plane crash last year....Nie nie struggles with her new physical image after being burned terribly in the crash....but I have learned her heart through reading her honest accounts of how hard this is...and she's never been more beautiful....

Finding the "Ahhhh" again..New Growing...

2009-05-10T16:34:00.000-05:00

When I came home from teaching full time, my mother was dying, we lived thirty miles away and my children attended a school yet another 20 miles in the other direction. I came home kicking and screaming truthfully....it wasn't my goal and it wasn't my desire. Eventually I obeyed God's call to come home.
This year after four years of God saying "no" "Not now" and "just a little" He changed my answers to prayers about this and that regarding ministry. The answer in November became "it is time." What? Oh no you don't...not now...not after moving, rearranging my world, figuring out how to do this thing called be at home....NOW???
Six weeks ago I was in Dallas. God completely changed the sails again as He set up the situation that our desire to work with church leadership and organizational leadership came suddenly, and at once we were swamped with things to do to prepare to go forward.
Today I realize the new normal is here. The normal that says some hours of a day I am a homeschool mum, a wife, and a mother and stepmother. Other hours I am writing and being published as a step mom advocate and family advocate. Other hours the phone rings and its amazing authors and publishers who are now part of my weekly brain team ....and I simply look in the mirror and say "How did God do this?" "Why is He trusting ME with this...me the one who almost always managed to mangle simple things!"

But God didn't ask or suggest I would understand or ask permission. He simply expects me to listen to His call, do what is before me, and praise Him all the way through.

Today I look around a home that needs more tending. A family that deserves the kind of lunch we had today for Mother's day, every day. And I realize that more and more my life will compartmentalize so that the hours they are home and available I will be too. The hours they are with friends, church, or at school (for the boys) I will work to on these dreams God has given us.....and while the learning curve is still vertical, the lessons are consistently coming!

As I stop panicking that I don't know what or how to do this and trust God more....it feels like the out of control spinning plates are beginning to spin more to a pattern of delicate music...and I feel like I am beginning to sway with the music and not as many plates are spinning out of control....there have been more times of squishing mud between my toes while we gardened....more times of quiet walks with friends....more dinners with special desserts prepared...and more flowers smelled and puppies played with.

God continues to whisper do this , do that...but most often he simply whispers "Be in my presence, stay in my presence....let me affirm that you are okay and its all going to be okay" and He has... Phone calls come at the exact right time, help arrives when its time to take the next steps....bills are paid in ways I never imagined...God is God and His ways are not our own....

Today I realized this week we found the "ahhh" again....that deep sigh of peace and understanding that says nothing is truly under our control, but in relying on God...we can relax for He is in control.....no matter what....no matter when....no matter what happens in the future...God is God and He is good!

Mother’s Day 2009

2009-05-10T07:15:00.000-05:00

Can you say 1980’s? The women pictured above are two of the strongest women I have ever known….and then there’s me. Aunt Jean, on the left, was my father’s sister. She struck out on her own at 16, leaving on a train. Later, home in her late twenties, married, then became a widow with two very young sons in her thirties. She never remarried, she reared them on her own. Yet when I was born, she was a business woman, owned a fine home, and had successfully put her two sons through college. Aunt Jean loved to fish, squealed like a girl when anything hit her line, yet was more known for her sophistication and proper elegance. I was the niece who lived in the same town. The tomboy, the one she had a full time job trying to refine in any way shape or form. From early on I loved to spend the night with Aunt Jean. She had a way of looking directly into your eyes and fully listening. She had the ultimate lady's bedroom and bath. Her feminism was evident by the beautiful things on her tray in her suite. Looking glass mirrors in silver, prism perfume bottles with the squeeze sprays, delicate cremes and potions. She was proud to be a women and knew how to dress and act like one. She was also unafraid of hard work and as one who was one her own most of her adult life, she knew much about it! She was my favorite cheerleader, counsel, and strength during duress, understanding my woes, directing my paths.

My mom is to her right. I am wearing a dress, blouse, and jacket she made. She was a counselor, a leader in our community, and a ever in love with her husband wife to my father. Both women knew hard work yet maintained home blessings, baking, cooking, sewing, entertaining….both woman knew the meaning of servants for their mission field….everyone in their path.

My Grandmother Geddie is the third woman in my heart. She owns a large portion of real estate in my heart still. She was my mother’s mother. I never knew my father’s mom, she was gone before I was born. Grandmother Geddie was a colorful character. She taught second grade for over forty years. She loved children and she loved to laugh. She sang Jesus Loves Me and I’ve got the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart when she worked in the kitchen. I spent as much time as I could in her home and with her on trips. She loved God and spoke of Him as though he was her dear friend. She loved food and always like to have some on hand to give away as folks came by for coffee. Cakes, pies, something…..so you never walked away empty handed. She laughed and had a very mischievous side to her ….she kept us all laughing regularly. She loved roses and red…and not in that order. She always was done to the nines when she went to town and she is responsible for my love of shoes, purses, and matching outfits….she is probably also genetically connected to my high energy and mischieviousness. I am probably most like my Grandmother Geddie….and I am thankful for the heritage of loving people she has given me. Madison is my grandmother in a new generation. As a toddler she raised her hand over her mouth to giggle, just like Grandmother did….she has her eyes and so many mannerisms that you just know its not all environment, her heredity lives on in Madison.

I am the only one left now. My mom, aunt, and grandmother are all in heaven. On Mother’s Day I am aware of the legacy that has been given to me and for me to pass on to others…..I know I cannot fill their shoes, but I certainly pray that I can affect as many people with my life as they did theirs….for both were known for their life examples through their own lives, their love for other people, their willingness to help anyone on their path, their Sunday school teaching, their kind hearts, and their ministry to the community at large.

God is good and I am blessed! Happy Mother’s Day!

The rest of the story on financial stress...

2009-05-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

Remember how I shared that writing the tithe check this week was so tough for me personally? We were facing a Friday deadline of several unexpected expenses that totalled $1400 and I simply didn't know where it was going to come from. Projects that I am paid for weren't set up to be paid anytime in the period needed, I didn't see the issues coming in time to plan for them differently, I was feeling quite overwhelmed with finding a way to keep anything from being late!

Yesterday was rather the breathtaking day again. Woke up praying about how to make/rearrange DO something about the needed budget items. God simply said "no" to this idea and that idea. Les, as usual was simply calm and said "God will work it out" and I was more "we need to do this or that, let me try this or that" and my husband said "no." I thought he was simply not dealing with reality to be honest.....I am the fixer in our life, he is the wait and see guy.
Then I checked email later in the morning between conference calls, laundry, and packing daughter for Dallas. In the midst of it was one from our bank. Our BANK? Yes, it was a fearful thing for me to open, thinking "what possibly could they be telling me that is positive?"It was a notice of a receiving of money from the state of Alabama. My heart began to sing. It was over $800 in tax return re evaluations that the state had direct deposited.
We continued to do the work before us, gather things we hoped to do at Huntsville, work around the house and even did a yard sale while we waited an additional hour for my glasses. At that yard sale we visited with a nice couple who were very friendly.
I came home and in the mail box was a check for over $600! My husband started beaming. He said "I knew God told me that He would take care of this" and sure enough over $1500 was the total of the day for unexpected blessings. I asked why that number and Les said "because I wanted to have enough to do something for us for Mother's Day"
God is indeed a God of the details....our tithe again proof that in obedience God makes ways where ways were not.....there was no sense to the money that came. ....no expectation....the recession had caused so much of what might have once been profitable no longer to be....yet God's economy has no recession, only love and provision for us!
We are thankful today for a budget that is back on track, for new glasses that make seeing such an adventure, for bills that are paid, for a weekend before us that is simply relaxing with work at home to do, for friends who prayed with us when it was hard to believe it would all be okay.....
God is good! I will learn to trust Him in ALL things!

Company Girl Coffee 05.8.09

2009-05-08T06:04:00.000-05:00

Welcome! Can you believe it's Friday already? This week was so busy! I wanted our time together to be a quiet one, so grab your coffee from the kitchen and let's head out to the den and relax!
We had one of those week's where everything came at us at once! Financially we had over $1400 in unexpected expenses this week, ouch! Lack of money is the one thing that can make me quiver! Thankfully we have a pantry, a freezer, and things paid, so I can work on working extra to help out! We work very hard to live on one income, then any income I make pays for debt payoffs, ministry expenses, travel for ministry work, and sometimes extra's like prom. I usually have a pretty good idea of what to prepare for, but this week took on a life of its own. $1400 worth of things that had to be dealt with....but God is God and I'm sure that He will show us where its happening...He already is! We tithe, and I have to admit, writing our tithe check this Sunday was harder than other weeks, because I knew we were so far under the gun if I wrote every check needed at once! Tithing is the one area that God tells us we can test Him in. I know from years of experience that when you are faithful to tithe God 10% of your first fruits, He will overwhelm you with the ways you are blessed.
An exciting thing happened at the eye doctor's this week. I have had low vision since I was 5. I have a contact lens index that is -12 to -14. When they do correct me, its often a choice of seeing well close or far, never both...and then there are the methods we use like glasses over contacts to overcome different needs. For many years I have had to change contacts during the day to use the kind I needed, I love to read, but its very taxing for me. There are times I cannot focus at all because of my eyes. My retinas are thinning on the attached edges, so I am warned to not overdo or do rollercoasters, there are congenital cataracts, but none that can be repaired without other issues, and none that are directly in my vision line. For many years if I played "field" in the sun after batting with my brothers I got this blinding headache, I never understood why....they teased me alot about being only interested in batting...not playing my turn catching!
Anywho....my new doctor spent 2 hours looking at something in my eyes. It kinda got scary...in that it seemed he had "found" something. He called a doctor in, then got on the phone with another doctor....and then tried some other tests. Later he asked more questions that all seemed interesting, but without telling me why. Then he said the sweetest news "I'm going to get you seeing better than you've seen anything in 40 years"

And.He.Did!

He figured out that because my eyes don't focus vertically in the same area, my eye strain and huge correction is really magnified. My eyes get really strained at times, sometimes I lose all vision except a 2-3" circle of focus for hours or days....other times they simply don't work to focus at all without warning. He played with prism lenses for a long time with my right eye and then put a pair of temporary glasses on me (with the coke bottle lenses I used to have to wear) and said, "blink 4 or 5 times then tell me what you see" I did and it was like taking a kalidescope into shake mode then it became brilliantly focused...I saw his freckles...I saw carpet color specs on the floor, I saw veins on leaves out the window...I saw things I haven't seen since I was about 5 years old....literally....but it was also like sliding into the perfect temperature bath...my eyes just went "ahhhh" as they relaxed into focus without straining, and saw things they haven't seen in years except in my dreams! He also explained that when I am looking towards the sun, because my right eye looks upward slightly, its like I am looking towards the sun directly if I don't protect it....that's what caused the blinding pain headaches of my childhood most likely!

They had to order special lenses and new contacts. ...but I am so excited that insurance paid for almost all of it! I am more excited to pick up the new lenses today and see how they work in reality....my whole world will change if they work as we expect them too! I'll be able to pick up books and read again, I'll be able to see movies at the theatre! I'll be able to read assignments my children have instead of them reading to me! I can turn off speak on my computer and simply read your blogs by myself instead of some days having to use that abominable program!

So that was my week! Isn't it amazing how Spring just creeps in and then it fast forwards through each day?! Today Les has taken off and we get to do a family trip to the Botanical Garden to get more compost they offer for free and then we're taking Miss Madison to Birmingham to catch a plane to Dallas to see Uncle Bob (my oldest brother) and his wife M.
She is so excited to fly to Dallas! We think of Dallas as our home too since we lived in Allen for a decade and I taught there, sold Mary Kay there, won cars there, and loved many children in schools there!

My college boy moved home last night unexpectedly, I am thrilled to have my stepson here for the summer! What a nice surprise for us all! Les Jr is 19 and my red headed step son, and he enjoys many of my favorite things as well, so how fun to have him home to share the summer!

Be blessed, I am so thankful for your friendships! This is one of my favorite times of the week because of you! I so love knowing you, praying for you, and knowing you are raising your families and walking this walk with me too!

God is good!

Sweetie

Addition! It is 10:44 Friday night, and I just have to share. First of all, this morning we were notified that Alabama had misapplied our taxes and had an additional $874 coming by direct deposit TODAY, and then I opened the mail for an additional $679 in very unexpected blessings when I got home later in the afternoon....can you believe it? God sent $1553....we were not only short, or tight, but we had money left over! Yay God! The new glasses worked too! Its been a red letter blessed day!

Faith

2009-05-07T06:39:00.000-05:00

Last night I was in a meeting and out of my mouth came something I realized later is all too true in my world. I said something to the effect of "We have faith in the recession, we have faith in the messups, we have faith in the troubles to come, but we are lacking in faith that God has a plan and that He is in control"

Ouch.

Many of the organizations and individuals I work with currently are going through a period of change. They are faced with knowledge that what they did previously isn't working for their future. They have controlled all they knew to control, and yet it isn't working. I think we as humans, think that if we just try hard enough, if we just do something disciplined enough, we will not need faith. We don't call it a lack of faith, we often mislabel this control factor a flat lie, we say that its "self discipline." The self part is right, we're all about self. We prefer to define ourselves, to be only responsible to ourselves, and to keep ourselves where our SELF wants to be. Heaven help us if we allow someone outside ourself to be in charge....particularly if that SELF deep inside us leads us to do something we won't be comfortable doing.

When Jesus returned to heaven, He sent us the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, comfort and to be continually with us. We aren't alone anymore. We don't have to live this life trying to be "good enough" so that we can be acceptable....Christ atoned for anything we might be charged with on the cross. We are acceptable to Him simply by confessing our sins, allowing Him to live within us and to love Him.

The hardest part of my personal new walk is remembering that loving God and loving others will take care of the rest. That in my loving God, I will be drawn to Him, I will hear Him, I will be strengthened and supported by Him....and that faithfulness to focus on loving Him will lead me to love on others, and do the things that keep me in God's will for my life.

Sounds so simple doesn't it....

But I have to get that silly old self out of the way, so I can see....self is too busy holding up road signs....."tried that" "Doesn't work" "not good enough" "they'll target me for this" "Who are you to do this?" .....the more self tries, the more I realize that when self is in charge, God can't be.

1 Thessolonians 5

8But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

I have always thought of self-controlled as being in charge of myself, this morning however God has whispered that its more "get your self under control....so that I may lead you!"

Brave New World

2009-05-06T06:23:00.000-05:00

This morning I am going to celebrate 20 women who have come from Taiwan, China, and Japan to our small city. Their husband's were transferred here and they have taken on a new homeland in their adulthood. These particular twenty have just completed a year long ESL class offered by folks in our church. I am simply the cheerleader section. I always wanted to ba a cheerleader and today is my chance....I wonder if they'll mind pom poms and a few enthusiastic cartwheels!
I thought life was hard when Dh was transferred 400 miles to Alabama.....as much as Arkansas is a different place, at least I didn't have a completely foreign language to learn, completely new customs and foods to deal with....or new social customs to learn....well there is that whole 'Bama vs Auburn thing to deal with....kinda like choosing to be a Hatfield or McCoy.....
So I will load up my little treats for the ladies, put on my best cheerleader clap and celebrate the bravery of women who faced the unknown and have done so brilliantly!

God is good!

The Simplest Things

2009-05-05T07:48:00.002-05:00

The simplest things are so often the ones we don't slow down to appreciate. The ongoing daily life things that someone does, but no one takes time to appreciate the value of consistency. The bulletins that have to be made, run off, and folded for Sunday morning worship. The moment your child wakes up and reaches up for a morning snuggle. Azaleas that simply burst with color.
This morning I am thankful for slowing down and appreciating all the simple blessings this morning...

Tuesday thoughts

2009-05-05T07:07:00.000-05:00

Another busy week! Yesterday Dh telecommuted to work since he wasn't feeling well. Because I love talking to my husband, when he telecommutes, it is kindly suggested that I take "a day on the town." so I won't interrupt his work. That translates "Sweetie escapes" meaning that Dad is home to supervise homeschooling, and I flew the coop! Like a spring chicken loose on the town, I fluffed up my feathers and headed out.

The activities were not earth shattering, I went to our church and spent time with our church staff working on a website, ran an errand or two, returned the tux from the weekend, then returned home to be mom. I enjoyed baking a turkey and making dressing during the afternoon, then we had a nice family dinner and movie when Spring football practice dismissed.

This morning I am privileged to be teaching our Girl's at Bible study again. The girls range in age from 44 to 70+, but let me assure you, these Girl's are more with it than most of us will be currently, much less as we are their age. I love being with them, their spirits are so open and sharing.
Son and I are attending a funeral today for his friend's father. He was killed in a motorcycle accident Saturday, and his wife badly injured. Son has been in love with motorcycles lately and while all things do not turn out this tragically, I am aware that he is profoundly affected by knowing his friend's father is now in heaven...and Chase will walk with him knowing the depths of seeing a close friend lose his dad.

We never know the hour or the day that God has in mind for us to come home. I think I am more aware of that now than ever. It seems so many things are lining up with our old and new testament end times signs. It is a time of change, a time to continue the harvest and share God's love and your faith in Him to every one around you....the bridegroom is coming.

God is good!

Yard Sailing...

2009-05-04T08:38:00.000-05:00

Saturday was not for the faint of heart yard sailors! It was a day for bargains and for absolute commitment to sailing, rain or shine! We had the best time, my husband and I, in a neighborhood sailing event where every garage was open with treasures....I so believe that people throw away things I cannot afford to buy every day....and Saturday was one of those days! One of the most exciting moments was when the car's owner asked what size I wore, (8.5 or 9 N) and she took me to an immaculate closet and handed me 8...EIGHT...pairs of pumps in amazing brands that were brand new...she had had foot surgury and can no longer wear them and had just bought them on sale last fall for the spring! I asked what she would like for them and she said $1...I counted out $8 and she said, "No, $1 for all!" I was flabbergasted, these are brands I love Atienne Aeigner, Chaus, Pappagallo, and all brand new and in colors I love! My treasures cost less that $2.50 total! I went back later in the day to show her a pair that matched a suit of mine perfectly (and to let her know I am not always the drowned rat I was that morning....she is in ministry as well and understands tough budgets and needing to have nice enough clothes to not stand out! (Well with the VW golf car for son it was $702.50 but he paid for the car!)

The plate rack has a rooster header on it, but right now, it won't fit under my cabinets if the rooster is on, so it'll have a bow on it for now to hide the screw sticking up. The vase is so fun and so milky white. the sign simply makes me smile. God is good and the winds were favorable for another great yard sail event despite the rain!

This morning my husband was given a wooden door to replace the yuck on going to my garage, I am so excited, its the exact size and has a 1/2 swing open top like the cute doors in the farm houses have....I love wooden anything and this will so improve our kitchen entry!

Happy Sailing this spring! God is good....and works in mysterious ways!

Monday Home Blessings

2009-05-04T07:21:00.000-05:00

God meets our needs. I am ever aware that if I can pry my fingers off the ledge when I feel like I'm so not arriving to the next level of trusting Him to meet my needs and those of my family, that God will indeed meet me where I am.
Son1's car in Arkansas died. This is a tragic event for a boy who is in college full time, working full time to pay for said college, and 400 miles from home. A rural college, no taxi's, no bus systems, and 17 miles between work and school. Horses are frowned upon at the campus.
We had talked to son about helping him find a car....not willing to simply buy one for him, since he made more money that most students last year and while downloads for his phone are nice, they aren't exactly responsible if you're walking, and he certainly made enough to have saved some of it away for the impending death of his current $700 car. We did loan him our honda though for 4 months so he would have 4 months to find it.
So Saturday morning it was time to go yard sailing and then the rain came. My friend Mrs. Goofy and I had decided it was for another day, but my heart kept urging me to go (or my shopping addiction says some thoughtful mouse in the corner) The neighborhood behind me was having their annual sale...I fought the rain for a couple of hours then Dh and I bravely went into the storm to prove no silly folks would have a sale in the rain. Turns out silly folks do! Yippee.
As we went from garage to garage we had the loveliest time meeting others who were having garage to garage sprints as well. Then it happened. A car was for sale in navy blue simply like son wanted. a VW Golf...good condition...well cared for...and for sale. I thoroughly expected a $4000 price sticker. The woman shared her story about her son buying it for her before he died an untimely young death....and how the day before somemone had offered her her asking price and she just couldn't sell it.
The story became God's as she heard our son's need and she made the price exactly what he had -200 so that he could buy new tires. He could not believe it when we sent him a picture to see if he wanted it. Dh drove it, checked it out, and it was a keeper.

God is good, and He proves for our every need.....even the silly ones I think up....and indeed God must have gotten pleasure from seeing me splashing in the rain....I know my husband did...and it was good!

Uncovering the Masks

2009-05-02T06:43:00.000-05:00

There are many schools of thought on how Christians should act. I think the whole issue is too many Christian folks are acting. God does not ask us to be less than who we are. He gave us emotions, He gave us dreams, He gave us love. What God does ask us is to not let the sun go down on our anger, not to hold grudges, not to embrace resentment. One of the continual God whisperings for many years for me has been "It is not your place to judge others, but to love them with my love." This has been a hard lesson live when a husband leaves you, when others abuse you, when attempts at kindness are returned with ugliness. But the truth is love does cover a multitude of sins, and very often those who hurt us, who say ugly things, are hurting and need our love and forgiveness most of all.

One of my daily goals is to live transparently before God and others around me. It is not a fun goal to face daily. Transparent Christians allow others to see their joy, their struggles , their failures, and their pain at times. It means uncovering your shame, and at other times it means sharing your victories. I came from a world that taught women and men not simply have good manners, but to banish "realness." One of the old gentlemen from my childhood said of a well respected Christian in our church "You'll never know if you offended him, but you might wake up dead one morning." That bothered me for years. Not because I feared death, but because one Christian man upheld in esteem and honor the mask that the person had as something to be wanted.....I believe that Christ expects us to give up our masks of perfection, our masks of falseness, of trying to be something we are not. I do not believe we are to wait until people aren't looking to deal with our anger, upset, or revenge. In fact, God tells us we are to go straight to the source if we are upset, to solve the upset by sundown, to forgive over and over again, or to simply walk away from those who cannot accept us in Christian love.
My personal life has been messy. I haven't survived two very broken marriages and then had the courage to attempt a successful third marriage without owning ugly baggage that had to be unloaded and replaced with God's grace. The third wife journey is not without its mountains to climb and overcome as well....whether it is as a step mom, mom or simply as a damaged, insecure woman who has been left by those she loved before. God has healed as many of my wounds as I have allowed Him to heal.... He will heal them all as I surrender them to Him. Isn't it funny that we often cling to what we know instead of being willing to embrace what God has for us?
I personally fought tooth and nail, as did my parents upon his arrival in my life, this magnificient blessing of a husband God has sent into my life. Ashamed from being left behind twice, that book Left Behind btw, has always had a different meaning for me.....embarassed of what people would think if they knew I had been married before. I assure you, eight years ago, I would have told you that only really needy folks tried for a third marriage after two flaming disasters. How in the world could they embarass their families that way I thought......Yet God forgave me, and has restored my life and those of my children in ways we could have never imagined when He sent Les into our lives. Yes, I've been married twenty some odd years, but it has taken three marriages to arrive there. One of my family members likes to tease, two got away, but the third one seems pretty well hooked for the reeling home. I'm not proud of that fact, its simply part of who I am, and what I have become. What do you want me to do with that part of my past? Pretend its not true? Be ashamed forever? Keep my head low because after all, divorce is a sin?
Isn't it funny what sins we think are shameful? Which sins have more weight than others? What sins we are willing to think "I'd NEVER do that" then those sins we do every day that we seem to think "Yes, well, but I'm human." A friend of mine pointed out yesterday that divorce was not one of the sins God's hates on his six biggest sins list....and she pointed out the list again...

"These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proudlook, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that devisethwicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."~Proverbs 6:16-19~

Her point was to console me that the one who soweth discord was in worse shape than me for the divorces. However I prefer to believe that God hates all sin, because our sin keeps us from knowing his peace and love. It keeps us from loving others as He would love them, and that is our greatest command, to share God's love.

The truth is all sins are sins, whether we think them or act upon them. Some sins are more public than others.....and it is easier to point the finger at those who participate in those sins....however....whether or not your sin is public or hidden, if it is sin, it is still sin. It is still something that you need to allow God to remove from your life, and daily ask for God to help you identify what needs changing in your life to allow God closer to you! God is still the God that forgives them and helps us change when we bring our hearts transparently to Him. God still commands us to bring all parts of our lives to Him when we commit our hearts in faith to Him. Our obedience to Christ is a continual vertical learning curve that cannot be achieved in completeness until we are perfected in Christ upon our death or His return. God has sent His Holy Spirit to live within us to lead us, to guide us, to counsel us, to teach us the right paths before us...but we must learn to take off our masks and seek Him.

What masks have you worn this week? What masks did you judge others for wearing? Was your measurement of someone's actions or efforts viewed through God's love or through the scales of human judgment. We're are all imperfect, all dependent upon this God of ours for His mercy and grace....and I know I'd rather be clothed in his grace and holiness than any mask I can paint or wear...
God is good, and He loves you right where you are....as you are.....trust Him.

Teenage Years

2009-05-01T07:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I pulled up the grades on my son's school access. Yuck. It turns out that all those days that I was asking him "how is it going" we were not on the same page on the topic of "school assignments" He is in the process of correcting a few tactical errors, but this Mom was not kind nor happy when she saw two really low grade averages.
We want our children to be honest with us. The truth is, I can handle anything my children bring to me, but when they choose to float the line and not share their struggles, I get very very frustrated that they are misleading me, lying to me, about their situation.
Don't you figure that God feels the same way about us? That he gets so saddened by our withholding our hearts, our struggles our needs.....after all, he has access to every thing we're facing or hiding from Him.

Company Girl Coffee 5.1.09

2009-05-01T06:23:00.000-05:00

Drake and Tator are EAGER for your arrival!

Join us in learning how to make your own home a sanctuary and Friday's a time to fellowship with other ladies who are trying to do the same!

Today its raining, so I'll ask you to come into the kitchen...isn't the best sharing always around the kitchen table? At our house that is where meals are served, homework is handled, and more importantly for us today...dessert is served. We decided that the rain made it a cheese cake kind of day! I'd like to say its homemade, but the truth is, its storebought! Chocolate caramel, strawberry, and banana creme cheese cake. There's coffee with all the flavors I thought you'd like available as creamers. And for those of you who do not care for coffee, there's a few bottled cokes in the cooler.

This week started off in Tupelo, MS where I went to visit my Great Aunt Betty. It was a time of refreshing for me, I went alone. We had great fun reminiscing about our family growing up and I was so glad to hear of my great grandmother's life, whom I never knew. It turns out she was a high energy girl like me, and also had a seriously creative side. How fun to know that, I had never been told that! Got a really fun zebra purse with pink trim and a wallet to match and monogrammed a .75 cent lampshade while I was there, how fun is that? (pictures in Monday's post)

Tuesday I was so run down from running hard the last few weeks I thought perhaps I was getting sick. Thankfully a good night's rest and more careful attention to what I was eating cured my down and out energy level. I taught the ladies' Bible Study for our teacher who was out of town, I did not do very well....a few weeks ago someone had called after we joined the church and said unkind things, someone in the class brought it up to ask what I felt and said back when it was done. Unfortunately the conversation got off topic at the study and I couldn't get it to stay on track after that. My response to ugly is always the same, I'm not a "in your face" girl, so I tend to simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away from the ugly. I truly think people are used as unknowing pawns by Satan when they do and say unkind things to others, most folks truly don't mean to be ugly, they simply are hurting , exhausted, self conscious, or they don't know the wonders or peace of God's love yet. God's church will always be imperfect as long as imperfect humans are in it, and we are called as Christians to simply not be offended by others. I truly have no issue dismissing the ugly of what is said to me, because at least the person who chooses to be ugly is honest and told me through a first person conversation what was thought. I mess up regularly and apparently I wear a sign that says "Tell her what you really think". In my boldness, high energy and let's do it! attitude I simply offend some people by simply breathing.... I told my students when I was the teacher at public school that people are always going to talk, its human nature. The best way to deal someone saying unkind things to you is to 1) listen carefully to what is said, if what is said is true, fix your part of it, and ask for their forgiveness, if what is said is not true, then consider the source that said it, their situation and perspective, realize that you may have unknowingly offended them or perhaps its not your problem at all and go about your way, blessing the person who confronted you or gossiped about you and pray for them as you go. I'm just sorry that even on Easter Sunday, folks find ways to be miserable....such a happy day!

Tuesday night I went before the ominous City Council to get my zone variance and new licensure for our business, She's So There, which had to be changed to that name (what a pain for everything from business cards, to addresses, to website!), since we're changing states and how we work! For entirely different reasons than the blog is named She's So There,, where ever there is, she'll find it yet, She's So There LLC is simply a name that is more encompassing of all the things I do! Viral Marketing, Consulting, Educational Consulting, Writing, and E Communications, Speaking and Websites.

Wednesday we did a rare thing. Dh came home with a headache, and we were all lacking of time alone, so we gathered for a good dinner together then called it a night. Everyone went to bed early and caught up with sleep. I think we all needed it!

I was determined to do Rachel Anne's bedroom 100 things...we won't talk about how many hundreds it took to catch my room up and declutter it, but we're there now! I am thankful for the small things challenges. I need them daily to help get me into the habit of doing for our home!

Madison made me breakfast yesterday as a surprise...how fun is that?! Today, I am working at the church with our children's minister on plans for a mom and me activities for 4-6 graders this summer, we're brainstorming at 10:30 so I've got to get up and get to it this morning!

The family update?
Dh is working harder than ever on the government projects with the satellites. College boy is doing well at school and looking for a car to replace his that died. Newlywed girl sounds happy when we hear from her! Sophomore boy is in Spring Football and fishing these days and prom this weekend! Miss Priss is counting the days to turn thirteen and is so busy in her garden! The boys, our three small dogs (though one is growing bigger daily) are regularly out on the deck outside my office now...and the geriatric labs are loving the spring days!

That catches you up on us, but please, tell me about your week! What can I pray for for you this week?
My prayer request this week is:
To pray for wisdom and discernment for Les and I as we are facing so many choices right now and to place a hedge of protection around our children as they continue to be under satan's attack as the ministry moves forward! To also pray for prom weekend this weekend, so many children will be at risk for serious mistakes!

God is good!

Daughter's who surprise you with Breakfast!

2009-04-30T14:33:00.006-05:00

It just doesn't get much better than this on a Thursday morning.....how we forget some days the smallest things that make such a difference! Madison was kind enough to do this this morning while I was on a phone conference very early. Yay for kind hearted daughters, and she cleaned up too!

God is good!

Daughter's who surprise you with Breakfast!

2009-04-30T14:33:00.001-05:00

Thankful Thursday!

2009-04-30T07:16:00.000-05:00

Thursday is my most favorite day of the week! This week I am particularly thankful for:

1. A growing relationship with my God that challenges me to my very core.

2. A husband who is the closest thing to a saint I know, who loves me as I am despite who I am.

3. Healthy children and good medical care when they are facing ill health.

4. Friends who not only pray for me, but help me physically and mentally get things done, and help me laugh when I do silly things and keep God's perspectives along the way

5. I am so thankful for Spring bloomings and beautiful days and protection when the storms come.

6. I am thankful we live in an age where you can become friends with someone you've never met and yet enjoy knowing them and interacting with them via computers. (Not to mention work virtually with clients, co workers, and friends....She's So There works in 4 states with our team virtually!)

7. I am thankful for our new church home and family, when a girl lives 400 miles from where she grew up and knew everyone, its a comfort to have local "family" again.

8. I am thankful for a husband who works, allows me to pursue our dreams and harder on ministry goals than financial ones....thankful for the many many friends who are partnering with us to help rebuild families.

9. I am thankful for squishy mud....and for the ability to enjoy squishing in it barefoot this morning when I went out to cut some roses for our table....

10. I am thankful for the choice each day to publically and privately acknowledge our Lord and God and Jesus as Savior without fear of attack, punishment, or abuse.

God is good!

P.S. There's a new stepmum post up here

Wednesday!

2009-04-29T06:48:00.000-05:00

What a pretty day it is outside. There is nothing like getting a good night's rest to help everything go better! The last two days I was completely out of sorts....exhausted....concerned about things.....facing a messy house that had never ending possibilities for being infinitely messy....then I went to bed last night and slept till morning. Yay! Amazing how that simple feat makes everything better. By the time I left my slumber, the bed was made the clothes picked up, and at 5:30 the dishwasher was loaded. Home today, finally, after 3 literal weeks of having something weird in our schedules, I can run my "old normal" routines today. What a relief to get the house back in order today. What a blessing to have some order restored to my world!

This is what I see outside my office window this morning at 7 a.m.

I went to our City council last night to gain a code variance so our work with step and blended families and my business could be licensed as a work from home office. It was an interesting experience as 17 or so folks worked on the same task. Today or tomorrow I will get to have my official licensure to do more than electronic e commerce writings, so I will be excited to have all the paperwork completed, its been a long long process to change this aspect of my life over.
The problem is, there isn't one title that defines what I do. Sweetwrites! is the name of my business for ghost and web content writing. However, I also Educationally Consult, design Marketing campaigns for ministries and authors, do workshops for churches and administrations, and build websites now. Hmmm. We've worked and worked on a communicative name for the new licensure...but in the end....its going to be She's So There for a hundred different reasons than my Blog was named that! My role in business it to be "there" to solve problems...my goal in blogging was to "find where" that peaceful place that allowed me to be God's child, his wife, and their mother and step mother. But whatever the cause, the name has stuck and folks know it, so She's So There ....it is! Talk about a way to add a zillion levels of work to yourself...ugh! New cards, new business cards, ugh. However Sweetwrites! could not be changed to accomodate what I do now, so there you go!

God is good, and I am thankful to be past the eye and licensure issues!!

Happy Birthday to Becky

2009-04-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

Today is Ms Becky's birthday! She's been celebrating it all month with wonderful blog shares! Becky lives just down the street from me, and I am so thankful. One of the issues with homeschooling and working virtually most of the time is you don't have the face to face talk time you would have at lunch or at work. Becky and I have become friends and truth is I count on her fresh perspectives often!
Happy Birthday my friend! I am so proud of the person, wife, mom, and friend you are!
love,

A Blurry kind of Day

2009-04-28T06:34:00.000-05:00

This morning is simply not going right ....I woke up at 3 a.m. with a contact lens going nuts (I sleep in mine) and before it was over one eye was scratched and my glasses are in Oklahoma with my daughter...who forgot to return my makeup bag after the wedding get ready. This wouldn't be a big deal except I am legally blind without correction. New contacts can't simply be put in because one eye is scratched today. While I can type because my computer talks and reads it back to me, I have a few issues this morning. My son can drive himself with me present to school....but I'll have to walk home, since I can't drive home without my glasses. I will walk to the church instead because I am leading the Bible Study this morning with the girls. That isn't a big deal because I had already prepared my lesson, and one of the other girls will gladly read aloud each part of our lesson as I need Scripture read. A staff meeting later will be interesting, but more challenging for I won't be able to read the information we're talking about.
I used to be able to funciton one eyed pretty well, but in these years I find I get excruciating headaches if I try to compensate by using only one eye, so I will not wear the other contact today either....
Later in staff meetings I will have a challenge before me. It is hard to function on the computer with art and graphics language if you cannot see it to verify it looks right. I'll rely on my daughter to work by my side and check my work today.
You know the devil is playing because not even the printer wants to work this morning....and I've already stubbed my toe not seeing one of a plethora of things in my path....but I know,and I am sure you know too, that when the devil plays at this level, something wonderful is happening! This morning I am thankful that my visual frustrations are temporary....and that I am given this chance to remember the blessings of corrected vision.

Edit at 7:58...son 2 looked carefully at my contact I removed and said "Mom, it has a tear, maybe its what caused the pain and not a scratch, so I put in a lense and sure enough, no pain....Yay for Son's who help!

God is good!

Happy Times on Monday!

2009-04-27T17:04:00.000-05:00

Went on a road trip yesterday after church to Tupelo Mississippi. Had the BEST time having a slow night with my late Grandmother Geddie's sister, Betty. She lived next door to my Grandmother when I grew up. Her husband Jake was a builder, and he did magnificient wood work, Aunt Betty worked for Gross and Janes Tie (as in cross ties) Company for 40 years with the same boss...My Grandad!...She is a spring chicken at 85, still walking 2 miles a day and full of vim and energy....you know the best old ladies are truly antique little girls....and she always sends me home with my heart smiling and my soul soaring with her sharing and wisdom!

Had a fantastic time with my Great Aunt Betty who turned 85 lately in Tupelo. While I was there, I found a 75 cent lamp shade and a place that monogrammed for $8, so for $8.75 I have the perfect topper copying one for $65 I saw in Southern Living...Yay God for bargains! Don't you just love it when you can do your own version of something expensive you love?

If the good times and companionship with Aunt Betty wasn't enough...on the way home I met Nancy, who just opened a store in Russellville, AL and she had this cute thing for $20 for the purse and $10 for the matching wallet...can you say spoiled? I spent my whole allowance on it and the monogrammed lamp shade...and I'm pleased as punch....but what to do for fun money for the rest of the month? $60 is my limit for the month, for all my extras (haircuts, clothes, etc)....but it has been the best fun!

God is good...and sometimes His ways are not even to give us what we need but what we want!