Some days I simply wish for a simpler life. My friend's mom had the best title ever, it was simply Richard's wife. She was a stay at home wife, mom, and grandmother eventually. She never went to town for anything except the parades and groceries. She was a together person, calm, serene, and always a great pie on the table and coffee in the pot....my kind of woman!
God however, had another life in mind for me. While I am at home, I am Les's wife, and their mum and step mum, I am also many other hats. ...Writer...Success Strategist..Step and Blended family Advocate..Calligrapher...Trainer....Marketer.....Cook....Chief Bottle Washer and Laundress (although I should be fired on that job, I'm really bad at it!) This morning I am putting on my child advocate hat. Actually, my Gifted child Specialist hat. I will travel to a neighboring district, then sit in on a class observation or two, then go enjoy 2 hours of alone time picking up Easter treats, then return to meet with the faculty on a child who is struggling. (My neighbor Becky is kind enough to be taking over Madison today so I have a day to run!) My specialty area is children with specific learning needs in all varieties. You see, rural and inner city teaching allowed me to have a first hand education at Baylor, Texas A&M and UTEP as well as Univ. of Alaska and New Mexico State University of how to work with specialized populations from High Gifted students with behavior problems to children with dyslexia who are gifted to children with brain injuries who need help to function on all levels. Its an odd education, but somehow God sent me to the top schools and now I have this weird amount of knowledge on some specialty areas in learning.
You know the hardest part? I love all the hats I wear in my life. Whether its marketing an author, building a website, helping a struggling parent, helping redirect a step family who are having issues...or painting a mural on a church gym..... I simply love helping people find peace and reach their goals or succeed in accomplishing their dreams. There is such a moment of joy when you realize God put someone in your path that you can actually help! Sometimes the cost is high personally, but God has answered my prayers to be of use to children, parents, and adults with learning needs. I sometimes look into my life and want to "clean house" of a few of the many hats I wear, but then I pray about it and I seem to be told again, that I am not to worry about being like someone else, but I am to be who He made me. Sometimes my brain simply gets tired of keeping up with the details my fast flying life brings to the table...but God reminds me that consistently relying on Him will keep my feet on the path He has set before me, and letting go of being "in charge" will allow Him to send the help as needed. And He has!
Yesterday I was simply blessed as I got to know my church staff family again. I am still new in their world and they are new in mine. I was blessed as my daughter got to prepare to sing with our children's minister. I was blessed to learn more of our youth and educational ministries, I was blessed to be able to do some art for a Women's ministry. Then I came home to be Les's wife and I was blessed to take care of dinner, to be Mom until bedtime, then I was especially blessed to have a conference call for a few moments with people I adore in another state.
It is an exhilarating life....and its all just overwhelming many days....but I keep focusing on simply one next thing! This week is Easter, my preparation of remembering that this week commemorates my Savior being marched up a hill at Calvary, forsaken by the very ones he tried to save. Even the thief next to him knew He was an innocent, but the leaders at the time were too political to stop such a travesty....washing their hands of the results.
God planned it all. It was not an accident that Judas sold my Lord. It was not an accident that Jesus had to die on a cross. Our splendid God allowed a powerful orchestration to happen, at great cost as he watched His son die a painful death so that we....that's you and me folks....so that WE could be absolved of our sin and guilt and live in freedom in the love and safety of knowing we'll spend eternity with our Christ the Lord , Father God, and until that time, the Holy Spirit will live within us.
Some days I think that perhaps God wishes I'd simply choose one hat and settle down.....yet yesterday, when I prayed and prayed about was I doing what God wanted me to do..or should I absolutely stop some of the things I have me doing....He gave me the most wonderful dream..... In my dream, Jesus led me to some quaint downtown store, and there was this picture window...and it was FULL of all kinds of hats....all kinds of roles....and when I started looking at the size tags....they all said "Made especially for Sweetie" and each one of them fit me exactly....and as my eyes grew joyful in the wonder of such a store....Jesus simply smiled and said "They fit because you love the people so that you wear them to help"
And that is so......I am thankful that God has given me such a love for others....and I am learning to love myself....for no matter how hard I try, no matter how long I labor....I will never understand the depth, the breadth, the heighth of God's love for all of us!
John 14:23Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.
Today I looked up "Jesus loves" in the Bible Gateway Bible.....how aweing to see just how many times the Bible phrases begin with "Jesus loves" or "the one Jesus loves". I want to say it again today: This short bus girl with all the silliness in her life LOVES Jesus.....and more over....Jesus LOVES YOU!
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