Whirling...

It is another week that seems surreal. The whole point of coming home from outside the home work was to, not be outside the home as much, or at least I thought that. Why else would God insist on it? However, the longer this goes, the more I am seeing that He simply had other plans for my time than my classrooms, or my schools, or the things I did at the colleges. Silly me, I thought coming home, well, it meant coming home.
The new normal is so mixed. I am telling you, without God time first, there would be no surviving this new normal. God simply has to orchestrate these kind of days in my life, I couldn't handle the rest if He weren't.There are moments in my day when I'm on Mom duty, waking them, homeschooling one, running another football program gear, then there's the home duties that happen between errands, during conference calls, and before and after they all sleep. The step and blended ministry needs happen regularly and often throughout the week, sometimes for hours, other times for simply phone call time. Then there's that whole area of my life being a Success Strategist. What the heck is one you ask? In my case, its someone who is hired to do out of the box problem solving, to create strategies in incremental developed steps for individual, corporate, or campaign marketing. Yesterday was so surreal, before the day was out I had worked on projects for three authors, conferenced with Blissfully Domestic's team on skype, talked and worked with a Southern Living project for one of my clients, had another client ask if I could do a talk radio discussion...and all this while I tried to hold down the fort on life at home! Part of the week is usually spent working on a prescriptive learning solution for a local or area parent or school for a child who needs to be "figured out" or to develop specialized learning plans. Then there's the whole "gee I exist as a human too" time needs. You've heard the adege be careful what you pray for? Living it.
One of my friends was here to hang out a while yesterday afternoon. In the course of us sitting for coffee we had 1) a call from the school for son 2) Southern Living called regarding one of my clients 3) Client called affirming a need for an exciting new project and asked for a plan for it 4) Husband called to verify I remembered a dental appointment for child 5) UPS delivered ministry materials. 6) Youngest child brought in happily the completed homeschool pack she wanted to show me. All of it while I unloaded and reloaded a dishwasher. My friend said it somewhat succinctly..."God had a plan for your high energy didn't He...." And yet other days I am simply His child, Les's wife, and their mom and step mom. Its so hard to explain what happens in a normal week in my life, and truthfully, right now its exhausting.
In periods of my life God has used the 2x4 to say "too much" "slow down" "no" but right now, for this moment He has taken my world in a different direction....I wonder sometimes how long....it is not that God doesn't sent the help, the assistance, the cleared paths for places I had no idea we were going....but it would be so much easier if I could simply see the travel plans! Or perhaps God knows I simply couldn't handle it if I did.
All I know is each day, He sets before me what is to be done...and I try to do them....and then I finish the day and think "How in the world did that happen"...then almost as quickly think "that was God" when something has happened or connected that there is no way on earth this short bus girl had anything to do with it....and indeed it is as though God chuckles and says "Nope, you're right that was me" And I go to bed so weary and yet so aware that God is God and He is more than enough.

Timothy 6:17 not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

For so many years I thought money, or the right something or other might be the solution set for my heart's longing...but the truth was that God was what was missing, oh I knew Him, but trusting Him? Obeying Him? Listening to His directives? that was not happening...and I am not "there" by any means, but the more I lean deeply into trusting and loving God and letting him steer my ship...my life has taken on His purposes, mine seem so silly now....and with Him all of our needs are met.


4 comments:

Rachel Anne said...

whirling, twirling, interruptions...God's plan is still in the midst of all of it, right?? And then there are times, like today, when I'm sitting on a little stool, painting a little border that I wonder what on earth I'm doing that is "important." Sigh!

mholgate said...

I am in such a different stage in life than you two lovely ladies, and yet, our hearts intertwine with each other!

"All I know is each day, He sets before me what is to be done..."

I love it! When you look at it that way, yes, Rachel Anne, even painting a little border is of significance in His eyes!

Blessings to both of you!
Melissa

mholgate said...

It's me again... I finally looked up at my calendar and today's quote is "Creative coping with routine, not variety, is the spice of life." It's like the calendar was made exactly for me! :)
-Melissa

Mrs. Farrah Ginter said...

Thanks for reminding me to trust in God with all things. I haven't been doing that very well. I can tell others but struggle with it myself.