With abandon

The past few weeks I have had clear choices that were hard for me personally. God seems to be whispering "follow me and go where I send you" but I have this moment where I simply want to say "but God..." Now somedays its about "but God I have this or that to do" and other days its a prudent "but shouldn't I ...." but then even as I question I realize that anything I have on my "to do " schedule is most likely not as important or obedient as whatever it was that the Lord has placed on my heart to do right then. He's not the sort of God who cares if you've never done anything like this in your life....nor does he particularly care if you've never met the person you're sent to work with! (ask several of the women I am now working with...."er...God made it clear I am to contact you"...now that's like calling up the white trucks and asking to be taken away!)
Obedience. Why is it the only time I have a desire to clean the house is the time when God asks me to do something else? I mean most days it would take wild horses to drag me to the dishwasher and clothes washer, so why when God says "go do this today" do I suddenly have a strong need to stay home and clean? My husband looked at a clean home one morning and said "trying to avoid God again are we?" He knows.....my whole world here knows.....if I am cleaning with abandon then I must be avoiding something at a VERY high level.
Obedience. The Bible says our ways are not His ways. Why do I think that I could possibly know best what God should do with my life? Why do I continue to fight so hard to conceive where he is taking me? Is it not enough to simply "be" with the Lord as he unfurls his plan in my life? Aren't I promised that he has plans for my future, my good, my welfare in his service? What exactly is it I fight? Why exactly is it so hard to give it up to the Lord God Almighty, you know the Sovereign Creator of the Universe....after all for all that He is....I am not.
Obedience. What was the definition of success in God's economy? To reach one heart at a time for his kingdom? To show love to others as he loves me. To have mercy and a kind heart to those who are not kind or merciful to me? To forgive and be forgiven and to draw near to Him. The other definers of success this world shares are simply that....theirs...money, things, power....they are empty promises. In my Lord's kingdom, provision is His, every success is His, everything is joyful in His economy...yes even those who come against me are defeated by his sovereignty and that which is taken from me is repaid. So why do I have to fight to stay on God's plan for my life...why do I struggle to be obedient?
Obedience. We are all called according to His purpose for us. I am ever amazed God calls me at all...and I find it particularly wonderful that He loves me despite me....yet when He whispers in my spirit to do this or that...I am almost always in the "why me Lord" mode. I still half expect that mud hut in Tanzania yet....but every step of this path that God has had me on is indeed a breathtaking experience....and I so want to fulfil whatever purpose this life has for me in His plan for my life.
Obedience. God rewards those who obey. My goodness, how much more filled with joy, peace, laughter and fun has the last few months been? How many more times have I spent my entire energy on a day God ordained then looked up at bedtime to say "thank you so much Lord...I wouldn't have missed THAT for the world" and mean it? How amazing have our needs been met. How miraculous have the connections and "just happen to be" situations by orchestrated by our Lord as His works are worked. There has been warfare, but as we were expecting it, it was overcome easily by calling the spades exactly what they were....attempts to confuse or create a struggle. As we faced each situation with prayer, supplication and time in the Word and with God....it has been amazing how strife left our home. Struggle left our usually stressed bank accounts. Its not as though we are ahead, but each need was met as it came up without compromise or struggle, God simply provided for His people with His methods....none of which we could have forseen.
This walk to help others create A Joyful Place Called Home is an amazing experience. God is gathering the teachers, providing the situations to help them grow their teaching and audiences. I have never experienced anything quite like this in my life....I don't know where the Lord is going with this silly step mom from Alabama...but I am so thankful He's letting me ride shotgun with Him.....I can't imagine a better driver....and the ride is simply breathtaking!

God is God and we are not!

Father God,
Help me to love you with abandon....help me obey your commands without question....help me to have faith that your plans are complete without my input or my approval....help me to obey you!
In Jesus name,
Amen