Choices revisited....

It has been another week of being away from home while the children are visiting their grandparents and working in another city in another state. I find it interesting to be "out" working again, in some ways its exuberant to stretch my brain and my wardrobe to enjoy using skills I have learned over the years in service....in other ways its so disappointing to know that other side of life (one lived in the business fast lane of power and success) is still what it is....
There is so much debate about where a woman's place is....and I am the absolute first to say, what works for you is your choice....but the choices I have made to come home and prioritize my God, family,and then work have worked for me.
This week among power lunches and late night discussions, as much as I truly enjoy the process of seeing businesses built, and I do....what I am aware of for me is that no matter how fun, profitable, or important to a business the deal I sign is....its still just a deal....for me the joy of a closed business deal is a short term celebration, for building people is what I prefer to do. For me the ultimate success is seeing others reach their goals because they chose to learn the skills that were required....and if i can help them attain them, it is enough....
As I have watched people this week, actually hundreds of them as I worked in an area of Dallas that bustles with business, I have to wonder "What did they give up, what did they compromise to be what they are here...." In many many conversations this week, the demarcation line seemed to be their family.....their boundaries.....very often their morals....

ah.........

Been there, done that, believed that somehow "achieving" some level or income or family would somehow enhance my family's life....when the truth is, for my family....they are more impressed with me choosing to care about their needs more than my own....and I have very much tried to...

I hear many statements like "It is not like I have a choice....' when it comes to their heavy work loads....yet I know there is a choice.....sell the house, take a less taxing position, choose a different career, give up the house boat....turn off the excess....yet these choices somehow do not exist in their definitions of how to best serve.....themselves....for you see, its not glamorous, nor fun to say "i think not on the toys, i'll choose family.......the trip??? Hawaii is just a place....my sons tournament is an event..." What they choose to define success with at times is traded for the deed to owning their own lives....

The choices are hard, ask anyone, and you only get one shot to do this thing called life.....its a really hard puzzle to solve, variables change with each stage of life, work, experience....its hard to know what choices are the ones to choose.....

because I made those choices once upon a time....tried to make all the concessions as to why less time at home was more.....after all I was successful, solvent, and thriving....right up to the moment when I realized it wasn't about me.....

and my children will tell you in a heartbeat they preferred less of all of it with more of Mom.

and no, it wasn't easy for Mom.

life isn't a fairytale that way.

Business success can be intoxicating, there are difficult problems to solve, travel involved, adult conversations required, goals to be met, success to be had....money to be paid....bonuses to earn....and with real effort you can see and measure real results....

rearing a child well......keeping a laundry room empty ....and drawers full....

not so much on the measuring real results....

but if nothing else this week as I see and visit with some of my "old life" friends, co workers, and folks I admired then....I am going home this week knowing I chose correctly....I am at peace with the choices God so led me to make however excruciating they were at the time....

and I wouldn't change a thing.

God is God and I am so thankful for this life He's allowing me.